Telling Friend Who Has Tried For 3 Years

4 Replies
Tiffany - July 8

I have planned a get together with friends at 12.2 weeks to tell them I'm pregnant. I have a friend who has been trying to get pregnant for 3 years and is on fertility meds. She is 38 and I'm only 24. Lately, she's been very down. I experienced similar feelings when another group of friends were all getting pregnant on the first try or without trying. I felt so jealous and angry and sad. I don't want to make my friend upset. Do I invite her? Any advice would be great

 

Cheryl - July 8

I've actually been in a similar position as your friend. My good friend became pregnant about 2 months after my second miscarriage. She wanted to be considerate of my feelings and actually made a point of telling me separately. She didn't want me to hear about it from other people and wanted to tell me first. It was actually a healing thing for me because I was truly happy for her and it was the first time that I had been able to be around a pregnant woman without feeling jealous and hurt. If this is a close friend, you might consider telling her one on one, not in a large group. Hopefully, she'll appreciate your consideration. On a good note, my friend gave birth to a healthy baby girl in February and after about a year and a half, I'm finally pregnant again! I'm only 6 weeks, so I'm nervous, but I'm hoping and praying for the best. Good luck to you with your baby and with telling your friend.

 

C - July 8

I was in a similar situation. I have a friend that has a little boy already but was trying desperately to conceive again since he was 6 mths old with no luck. I have 3 children already and got pregnant unexpectedly. I was so afraid to tell her because I knew how desperate she was and jealous of other friends that were getting pregnant. I told her when we were out alone and I think that was good. It turned out that she was pregnant too, just wasn't telling anyone yet!! We cried and laughed together...it was amazing. We are now both expecting for November and her due date is 2 weeks after mine. My advice would be to tell her alone also. If she is a good friend, she will be happy for you and supportive:) Good luck!

 

karen - July 9

you should tell your freind if possible before you tell all your others, that way she can "deal" with her feelings before you tell everyone as a group. I am sure she will be happy for you, so try not to worry.

 

Tiffany - July 9

Thank you everyone for your advice. I think I will tell her before the get together and that way she can decide on her own if she wants to come

 

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