What About The Man

4 Replies
Yzf450rider - July 30

I love my Fiance more than anything and we would do anything for eachother. being recently engaged (3 weeks now) i would have imagined feeling more love from her than ever befor. But with her being neer the end of her first trimester i feel so emotionally neglected and unappreciated. i do so much for her and try to make this pregnancey as comfortable for her as i can. I cook, clean, do the dishes, go shopping so she doesnt have to. basically, ANYTHING she wants she gets, and all she has to do is ring her little silver bell. So, im all new to this and this will be our first child. I am totally stoked to be a dad. and more suprised at myself that im doing such a good job..........weeeellllllll, apparently not so much in her eyes. nothing i do is right, i annoy her just being in proximity, i dont get the "i love you" from her much any more, and when i do hear her tell me that, it almost seems forced. her sence of humor is gone, s_x drive is null, and even if i bring up the subject of s_x i feel horrible for even thinking about it. basically, my question is this; What about the mans needs in a pregnancy? i feel walked on and unappreciated for the mountains i have moved for her and our unborn child. granted, there are so many changes going on in her body and those awefull things called hormones. she is deffinitely not going through this alone. i feel the full force of her emotions when she shuts me out, neglects me, and expects me to wait on her hand and foot. dont get me wrong, i love to do anything for my family even if it means sacrificing my own happines. but please dont turn off the s_x! it seems like as soon as i slid that three ct. platnum ring on her finger flipped a switch and shut off her s_x drive! im going insane! i thought for sure id be getting it a lot more often. im simple, all i want to do is make love. then im happy. ill do anything for your comfort. but do NOT hod s_x above our heads like a treat for a dog that just did a trick for his owner! that is how i feel.

 

CaliPitGirl - July 30

Aw, all the work you do sounds just like my husband. Us ladies are truly lucky to have you! Its said that men have s_x to release stress but its not the same for women. When you've had a bad day at work it helps you but when we've had a bad day at work its the last thing I want to do, LOL. I'm at 12 weeks so I'm close to where your fiancee is and lemme tell you all these emotions and tiredness is really wearing on me. I feel so guilty that he has been doing so much of the work at home and get down on myself about the way my body is changing despite how excited I am to be heaving a baby. I dont even want him to see me naked and I've only gained 15lbs. Its not that we are holding s_x over your heads but all your good owrk makes us remember "hey they need some lovin" and thats why it may seem like we dole it out accordingly, LOL. So here's a tip.....if she is through with morning sickness keep in mind she has more energy in the a.m then at night and is less likely to have the stress from the day on her mind. I find I'm much happier in the a.m and my husband came in while I was getting out fo the shower and started rubbing lotion on my tummy and he told me how cool it is that I'm carrying his baby. He kissed my tummy, told me I was beautiful and I melted, LOL! Give her sometime, I know its rough on you but she will appreciate all you do when her prgnancy brain stops making her crazy, LOL! Hell 2 weeks ago I called my husbands cousin and said 'get him out of the house, he needs guy time" so he planed a big poker game with like 20 people and for some strange reason after a hour and a half I started crying and wanted my husband back......CRAZY, our brains are just crazy. Sorry, LOL

 

mkayras - July 30

I'm in my 1st trimester, and I have a wonderful husband who, like you, does everything he can to help me out. I do truely appreciate all the help as I don't know how I would do it on my own, but I don't always tell him as much as I should. I'm sure your fiance' appreciates your help too - she's just to exhausted to express it right now. As far as the s_x drive, it probably has more to do with the exhaution and constant nausea and issues with body image as her body it changing out of her own control than with not wanting s_x ever again. Some wome feel much better in the 2nd trimester, and the old drive returns, others it takes until after pregnancy for it to return. It sounds like you're doing everything right, just give her some time to adjust to all the changes! Good luck with everything!!!

 

HeavenisMine - July 30

You sound very much like my own man. Please do forgive your fiance, it is very difficult to get in the mood for s_x when you're uncomfortable. You sound like a very decent fellow. My man and I tried having s_x in the beginning of this, but it didn't quite work because of my nausea. We ladies should always remember to thank you men and let you know what it means to us when you take care of us and treat us so well. It's a rare find these days. So in honor of all the hard working fathers, I say thank you for being wonderful, rare, and, irreplaceable! I love my Ka'eth so much.. reading this just reminds me.

 

Yzf450rider - July 31

Thank you all! everyday i learn something new and that i just have to ride out this hormonal tidal wave. im continuing to treat her well, comfort her and take care of her. i also know when to keep my distance and give her her space when she is irratable. which reminds me, im going to buy a foot ball helmet today so when i walk through the door nothing hits me in the head! lol ...just incase she is in a bad mood! haha! well after i posted this question yesterday and thought there was no help in sight i received a pretty hot picture txt from my fiance... lemme just say wow! we meet for dinner and socialized for a few hours then came home i jumped in the shower and to my suprise.... so did she! then i felt the appreciation by candle light in full force! and again in the morning! needless to say, im in a fantastic mood today! still..... you preggo girls can be absolutely insane! but we love ya. today is a new day and i will see what is in store for me.

 

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