14 Year Old Daughter Took Home Test And Is Pregnant

13 Replies
Mom - January 3

Well, I guess I am going to be a grandmother and I am lost.. I have always been open w/ her, but it happened 1st time having s_x.. What do I do/say?

 

kashi - January 3

well, my boyfriend's mom and my mom had me have an abortion when i got pregnant at 14. i know that it was probably the right decision at that time but psycologically i still hurt a lot and it's already 6 years ago. now that i am pregnant again it doesn't hurt as much, also because i found the spirit baby story and that one really touched me. it's at http://babycatcher.net/excerpt2.html what ever happens, let your daughter be part of the decision, because i wasn't and i hated my mom and my bf's mom for years because of that. it took me a very long time to actually forgive my mom, even thou now i see that it was the right decision. best of luck to all of you.

 

kim - January 3

Well let me say congrats.. Hope that is ok to say.. Being open is the best you can do. I started having s_x when I was 15. I took it upon myself to get on birth control because my mom was not to open with me. She did ask me when I 16 if I was hving s_x and I said yes but that was that. We had a few scares( my husband and I) but didnt have a baby until I was married. Lucky I guess. I actually married my first and he is the only man i have been with. We had our first son a day befor our one year anniverary and he just turned 6 today. We are trying to have another and expecting my period tomorrow hope it does not come... My little sister is 14 and I cant even imagine her having a baby but if it happens support is the best thing to do.. Does she want to keep it? Are you going to give her a choice? I am one of thosr people against abortion 100% but I guess we all have the choice. I hope it all works out for you and your family. This site is very helpful. I have meet alot of nice people and if you need to chat here is my email [email protected] Good luck!!!

 

Shaa - January 3

I think the best thing you can do for your daughter right now is be there for her and try to be understanding. Now that this has happened, she's going to need you now more than ever. I hope everything works out for you all and whatever you decide to do.

 

Lisa - January 3

Scary! I have 3 teenage daughters, i have no idea how i would react if one of them fell pregnant. I would also be finding out what the parents of the father think and have a talk to them about it as well. I hope that he is prepared to offer support as best as he can, a__suming they are both still at school. The best person to guide her will be you and to let her know what her options are at this point. I dont think a 14 year can even fathom what it entails to be a parent. Her education is still very important as well, it would be a shame if she had to give up her schooling to be a full time mum. You seem to be a supportive mum, and that is what is best for her at the moment. all the best

 

kim - January 4

she does not need to give up school to be a good mom.. Adults go to school and work and take there children to daycare... She can do the same and as long as she has family support it will be hard but it will all work out..

 

kim - January 4

I am so glad to hear that she will not be getting an abortion... Hang in there

 

sharon - January 4

must be really scary for you as shes your baby. i think the best thing is to support her with what she wants to do and just be understanding as shes probably scared too!

 

kim - January 4

have you talked with the boys parents yet?

 

KM - January 4

it is hard but she will pull through.This may even be a positive experience for her. She will mature and gain tons of responsibility very fast. It may help her set her life in the right direction, and figure out her priorities. I am 18 and I just had a baby, I feel that is still young. but my baby has changed me and my life for the better.Just be there to support and help her. She needs you a lot right now.

 

nope sorry - January 4

the only advice i can offer seeing as i am a teen mother (i was 16), i can only say support her in anything she desides to do. if she chooses abortion, adoption, or to keep the baby support her. my mother never supported me and i havent spoken to her in 2 years. if you are having problems talk to her about the ones you know she is ready to hear, eg. anger, fear, ect. dont yell or fight if you do talk to her, just talk, go for coffee. something like that. i hope that has some helped you in any way. i wish you both a healthy happy future.

 

Mom - January 5

Well all, now my daughter's father & his family are going nuts.. They are actually saying she needs to be put in a mental hospital and claimed incompetent to have a baby. They have always been crazy, but this is terrible and the trauma for my girl is not good for her. I honestly feel like packing up and moving from TN to MA to live w/ my sister and get away from them!

 

KM - January 5

My advice is also to not push her in one direction or another. Even if she asks you what you think she should do, don't tell her.because you being her mother, she values your opinion more than anyone elses, and she may make her decision based on what she thinks you would want her to do. Let her decide completely on her own. Its probably the hardest decision she will ever have to make but she may have regrets if she makes it in favour of someone else. My mom did this with me and at first I was frustrated because I needed guidance, but in the end I decided to keep him and I was proud I made the decision for myself and no one else.

 

lidia - January 6

I had my first baby when i was 14 years old i was scared I am just glad that i had family suppport and the father stayed with me he was only 15 years old we had to grow up very fast we still went to school every day .they had this program where you could take your baby to school and it really worked out. i went threw the hole 9 months of pregnancy and the baby past away 1 day later his name was daniel he had a bad heart. i dont really know why that happend maybe stress but i have three healthy daughters and pregnant again 3 months all i could say what is done is done just be there for her and help her do whats right life will balance out it did for me. good luck

 

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