18 And Pregnant And Father Is Gonna Walk Out

7 Replies
Beth - February 17

hi, im 18 yrs old and i found out im pregnant. my bf is 19 yrs old and the father of my baby. he doesnt want it and says i need to get an abortion, but i just cant go through with that. he told me that if i decide to keep it then hes leaving me cause he thinks we are to young and he doesnt think we can do it and he doesnt want "his" life to "end". i dont know what to do now. i need help on convincing him or something. i know that when i have this baby and he see's it he'll love it to death. i just need help on figuring out what to do and how to handle him with what we both want. thanx for your help!

 

KM - February 17

first of all,I would suggest to get rid of him. Because you don't need the type of guy that isn't going to support how you feel with personal issues such as abortion, and who is going to walk out when things get a little hard.NO ONE should ever be pressured or forced into an abortion. It is a very serious thing, and when it isn't the right decision for you it will affect you for the rest of your life, You may suffer serious mental and emotional problems later on because of it. Although, many guys react this way because they are shocked and scared, tell him you are keeping it and you stand by your decision. If he doesn't come around, HE is missing out. You can do it alone ,many women do, and the reward is amazing. Plus, he had s_x, and was aware of the consequences, so there's no getting out of it either way,if he walks out, take him to court for child support.

 

KM - February 17

btw, I have been in your situation kind of. I got pregnant at 18. originally i was the one who was suggesting abortion, I was scared and it was the easy way out. My boyfriend said he wanted to keep it but ultimately, seeing as I was carrying it, it was my decision. I kept my baby after doing some unbiased research on abortions and discussing it with my doctor, also thinking about what I really wanted, and if i could adjust my life to accomodate a baby. I have a beautiful 3 mnth old son.It was the best decision I have ever made.Now I feel strongly that abortion is not for me and I couldn't ever go through with it, I realized this about halfway through my pregnancy.but I am still pro-choice.

 

Maleficent - February 17

this advice may sound harsh but i've been in your situation. you need to put this relationship aside and work on becoming PARENTS. if he'd leave his child then he's not really worth much. if he loved you he would be taking responcibility for the child he created with you. the best thing you can do for your baby is to learn everything you can about pregnancy and motherhood and devote yourself to giving this baby the best life you can. your boy friend may or may not come around to the idea of being a dad and you can raise your baby with or without him. put your baby first and don't let his att_tude effect you.

 

Hilary - February 18

Hi Beth, my advice to you is to make the choice thats best for you and your baby. I dont recoommend getting an abortion though if you choose to thats your right. I had an abortion when i was 15 ... (not my choice, my parents made me) and I am 27 now and it still haunts me. As for your bf, hes not much of a man to begin with if he doesnt step up ... regardless of wheather you stay with him or not , he is the father, and if he refuses to take responsability, court can fix that for you. and make him pay child sapport... eventually you will meet another wonderful man who will love you and your baby .. and when that time comes you cAn then have the biological father relinquish his rights and the real man can adopt your child. Think of your baby first, you can do it alone it will be hard .. but it can be done, I have a friend who has four babie, 1, 2, 4, and 6 and she raises them all on her own. You have been blessed by god. He gave you a child. Love that child !

 

JC - February 18

I have been in your shoes before. The best thing I could recomend is to focus all of your attention you and that baby. I would suggest letting the father walk away, in the long run emtionally you will be better off. I went through emotional abuse at your age when I was pregnant. Beleave me I went into to a depression that was terrible. Keep your chin up, you can have this baby without him! Lean on your parents and friends for support, and always have faith in God. Ps. When you have this child there is no other love that compare.

 

Paula - February 18

I would not recommend letting the father off the hook for child support. It's really not your money to give away. If you don't want to use for your everyday baby expenses, put it in an account for school tuition. Maybe he'll figure since he's paying for the little thing he might as well put some quality time in too. I wouldn't hold my breath for that one but you never know. Babies cost a great deal of money so I don't think you should turn away some that is rightfully yours (ok the baby's) Good luck

 

~*R - February 18

Well first of all beth that is just obsurd. Any guy who threatends to leave you when your preg is not worth having around in the first place and it seems like all he is doing is thinking about him self and not you or the baby. And an abortion is not always the answer, And you shouldnt have to convince the father of your baby to be with you if your preg. it is his responsibilty too and he needs to be there for you with what ever decision you decide to do... Good luck sweetie and best wishes.

 

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