19 Pregnant Alone

38 Replies
taylor - December 4

So I just found out I'm 7 weeks pregnant. The day I told my boyfriend he said he would support me no matter what decision I made and he reassured me he loved me. The next day he felt completely opposite of what he had told me. He wants me to abort the baby end of story. Already he isn't here for me emotionally, I saw him once since I found out otherwise he's "too busy" and the time I saw him he basically said me or the baby. I know deep in my heart I can't go through with an abortion. I'm going to see my doctor tomorrow then I'm planning on telling him. I'm not sure what to expect being a single mother with no college education and living on my own. My mother will be there for me no matter what but has made it clear I can't move back in with her. I've considered adoption but I can't imagine carrying the baby for 9 months and having that emotional attachment with a child I've conceived then just giving it away to some couple I hardly know. Would I be wrong in making the decision to keep the baby? Its only been three days since i found out so your comments would be so appriciated!

 

rainie - December 4

Well, I'm 18, pregnant, and single. My parents did let me move back in with them so I think my decision was probably a little easier than yours, but here is my advice. That guy doesn't deserve you or your baby. So I would suggest that you keep working and saving up every extra penny you have, don't worry about buying things you will need for the baby yet, you can have someone throw you are really big baby shower and get pretty much everything you will need. Make sure that your state has available insurance for you and the baby. Go to all the prenatal appointments and don't stress out about the father, you can do way better. Once the baby is born, take his a__s to court and get child support, most likely they will give you the max child support because obviously you can't work while you have a baby, and if you do work you need money for child care. You can get about 500 dollars a month in child support which is enough for child care or if you want to stay at home with your baby it should be enough for your half of the rent and then you can get food stamps and get on wic. You don't need a man to make it, you can do it with out him. I'm 32 wks pregnant now, and there is no way I could give this baby up, theres not a second that goes by that I can't wait to hold, smell, touch my baby boy!

 

redeem - December 4

I have a friend that's 15 years old and just recently found she's pregnant. Her dad is kicking her out and she has litterally no where to go. But she's determined to keep her baby (or babies, she's showing way too large) and become a good mother. And u know what? I think she can do it. And I think u can to. good luck taylor

 

lilmama - December 5

It may be hard on you to raise a baby on your own, but deffinatley not impossible, wemon do it everyday! your boyfriend also may just be going through shock, and may come around, you never know. But even if he doesn't you can get child support and you will be just fine. Best of luck to you

 

Amy - December 6

You poor girl, It doesn't sound like this is going to be easy for you! Well, I'm 18 and 21.3 weeks pregnant! I had my doubts about my future 'if I have nothing to offer myself, what do I have to offer a child' etc, and thought about an abortion! but adoption is 'just' if not harder then abortion, knowing YOUR child is out there, calling someone else Mummy, and you can't suddenly change your mind someday! Your boyfriend is being a typical man. Unable to face the responsability. My boyfriend and best friends boyfriend went through a similar thing, but if he truly loves you, he couldn't live without you! Now my boyfriend is just as excited as me! If you are sure he is who you want, and you want to raise your child together, then he will eventually see what he is missing! But more importantly (if you decide to keep your baby), Don't let him worm his way back in after the babies born! If he can't support you during (which is when you need it the most, trust me) then he's not worth your or your babies time! You also have the support of your mum! Mums can be just as much of a blessing to you, then the baby. She'll help more then you or evern she may realise. There is no reason why you can't make this work, and it will give you something to work towards! All the best Taylor, you will make the right decision for YOU!!!

 

Alicia - December 6

first of all i want to say how bad i feel for you. i am 19 and 36 weeks pregnant. when i first found out i had recently lost my job and my car. my mom said she would help me but when the shock wore off she was there for me all the way. she has even been looking into lawyers and doctors to help me with my ex who dissapeared even before i found out for sure i was pregnant. i guess what im tryin to say is everything will work out in the end if it make it happen. you can do anything if it is important enough to you. good luck

 

m - December 6

Taylor, I'm sorry you are having a difficult time. You will be fine, girl. One of my favorite lines: This, too, shall pa__s! It's scary to think about, I know, but things always have a way of working themselves out. Go to your local health department, and apply for WIC and Medicaid. There is no shame in getting help with this. WIC will supply you with some foods during pregnancy, and while b___stfeeding... if you do that. Medicaid will pay for all of your medical expenses, down to paying for the pill after pregnancy. And as for your mom, I'd be willing to bet she'll turn around. She's probably shocked and maybe even upset/disappointed. But maybe she'll end up letting you move back in. After all, you are carrying her grandchild. And this guy may turn around, too. Could you get some help from his family? You'll be ok. Just keep your chin up! And if you have such serious doubts about abortion and adoption, it's probably not the best idea to go with either one of those, because you would probably forever regret it if you are half-hearted about either one of them. Good luck Taylor! My heart goes out to you. I wish we were pals, so I could help you out. It sounds like you have a level head on your shoulders. Keep us posted!

 

Abigail - December 7

Im 18years old and 36 weeks pregnant live in Vancouver alone and my family is like a 15 hour drive away and im doing my best to have and keep my baby but you have to relize the life you had you will never have again, i think mother hood is a better life. I am still struggling with my emotional state of ups and downs but if you ever need to vent or just talk to another young mom to be email me at [email protected] I think you should follow your heart ALWAYS

 

Taylor - December 9

Hey it's Taylor I first want to thank all of you for taking the time to read my story and writing your opinion. You guys are definitly the only support I have. Nobody thinks I should keep the baby not one person. But when I read your comments it empowers me more than you know! I've basically have been planning to have the baby without really telling anybody yet... I'm going for an ultrasound tomorrow and i know that will make my decision. I do have to admit that I'm really scared.But I have faith that things will work out if i want then to. You girls are my girls L :) Again Thank you so much! Hope to hear from you guys again!

 

m - December 9

When you see/hear that heartbeat, you're going to fall in love! The first time you hear that, you just get these b___terflies all in your stomach, you get chill bumps, and if you're like me, you'll cry the happiest tears you've ever cried! It makes it so real that a little person is growing in there. Ok, I'm getting mushy! LOL I can't wait to do all of that one more time! I hope to have baby # 3 on the way soon! Good luck, and please keep us posted.

 

erica - April 8

i dont think it'd be bad at all to keep your baby, i just found out yesterday that i am 16 weeks pregnant and i had no idea. Im still in high school, graduating in two months but still i dont have a college education yet and i still live at home. My boyfriend wants me to keep it and when he said he'd support me i was lucky enough to be with one that meant it. The first thought that went into my head was to abort it, that i just turned 19 i had plans to get out of my town and go to a big college, to party and just have that experience. This was a shocker, but i promise you once you see the first ultra sound its amazing how much love you feel right away. I looked up at that screen of that lil baby inside me i heard the heart beating and there is just no way i can even consider aborting or adoption. That is just my outlook, everyone's circ_mstances are different but it wouldnt be wrong to keep it as a matter of fact its the least selfless and most brave thing you could do. Hope everything works out for y ou!

 

kelly - April 9

I had my first child when I was 18 and my second child at 34. The first child was very hard for me because I wanted to do so much with my life and I always felt that I had been cheated out of my youth. I had a lot of help from my family and made it somehow. My son is now turning 17 and my daughter is almost 1. If I could have waited to have my son at my age now I would and reason being is I feel I am a much better mother to both of my children at 35. I have learned a lot from both of my children and I am glad that I had him when I did. If I could change the timeing I would but I also know that God does not give you anything you can not handle. For your selfish boyfriend he might just need time and will come around and if he does not then it will be at his loss. We were never promised that life would be easy we just deal with it as each day is here. Good Luck and make your own choice for it is you that has to live with it.

 

Natalie - April 9

I can try to help. I'm 18 and in kinda the same position. my boyfriend said the same thing, and i was about to do it, but then i was like "what am i thinking?! i can't do this!" so i told him, and he freaked out. but luckilly after a while, he calmed down after we both researched things for a while. then he ended up proposing! so hang in there, there could be a good outcome with the guy. but if there isn't, he's a jacka__s and not worth even having around. but my fiance and i looked though our finances, and we know that we can not keep this baby. I'm due in june!! we've been looking at families and have an amazing one waiting for a baby! you have to think though, it takes more than love to raise a baby! and dont worry about your mom, mine said the same thing, and i'm living at home right now, you'll get through it dont worry :)

 

MeMe - April 9

Hey Taylor, It's not all that bad raising a child by yourself. I have a 3 year old. It's been me n him since he was 2 months old. And remember any guy who says it's him or the baby is not worth holding on to:) Family is always cool to have around if they are going to help. I have my mom and my brothers to help out. I'll keep you n the Baby in my prayers! Keep us posted on what happens!!!!!!!!!

 

~ - April 9

Two words...Child Support!

 

*R* - April 10

Hi girls, I want to wish you all the best of luck with your pregnancies but i am curious if these babies were planned (EG: no bcontrol used) or if they were "accidents"?

 

grandma - April 12

i think you will be a great mother, what ever you decide on i beleive you can do it. just hang in there in keep your head up high, in dont look back in the past look for the furture honey.

 

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