2nd Child So Late In The Game

15 Replies
Julieann - August 1

I have a son who will be 11 by the time my second child will be born (I am about 7 weeks). Although dh and I have been trying since he was born to have another, and now that I am, I am having doubts about the age difference. My son will be 21 when the baby is his age now. Wow. He will be grown and moved out and have a family of his own and... Hormones, I guess. There are 13 years difference between me and my older sister. It's like she is not even related to me. Only now that I am 33 are we starting to have a relationship. Is the same thing going to happen with my son and this new little one? Don't get me wrong... I am thrilled to be having this little one but the age difference concerns me. Anyone else going through - or has gone through this? I hate these hormonal changes... I get so emotional over nothing.

 

kris - August 1

My girls are 14, 12 and 12. The twins turn 13 next week, and I am due on Nov. 21, 6 days before my oldest's 15th birthday. (Second Marriage) My girls are thrilled. While this child will in most respects be an 'only child', I am looking forward to having another little one, this time with experience, maturity, and a little money. I fully intend on spoiling this child rotten, and I have a pool of baby-sitters on standby!! The girls have made it clear that they get paid for their time, though. I agree, one part of me wonders what the heck we are doing so 'late in the game' - but another side just cant wait to start again! :) Congrats and best wishes to you and your family.

 

Tammy - August 1

Julieann- I have a 16 year age difference between my 1st and 2nd children. They are of opposite s_x so for now, they are close ( her girlfriends just love him). When she is 30 and he is 14, that I'm sure will be another story. My 2nd and 3rd will be 5 years apart exactly but are both boys so I'm am sure that they will have a bond.

 

jb - August 1

There is a 20 yr difference between me and my youngest sister and a 14yr difference between me and my brother. While our relationship is not the same as mine with my sister who is just 3 years younger than me, it still is good. While my sister who is close to my age, grew up playing together and going to school together. I was practically grown and moved out for the other 2 siblings. We are still close and they get so excited when I come over or they get to come to my house. Dont think too much about it. Your oldest will be a great role model and support for the new baby. They will probably get along better b/c they wont be fighting over toys and stuff like that. Im sure your son is excited to have a new little brother or sister!

 

Mary - August 1

We are 4 in our family my oldest brother is 11 yrs older than my little sister. They do not have much of a relationship. However, when she was 2 to 6 yrs old they had their closest years together. Even though he was older, he played with her and was more of a father figure, too. Then he got a girlfriend, finished HS and started college and from them on their relationship grew apart. Now she is 27 and he is 38 and they do not have much to talk about - He is an overachiever with a PhD and 4 kids and she is a single woman college dropout (which in his eyes is not a good thing). They live words apart but they still love each other. Sometimes, he uses her as an example for the kids (a bad example of what can happen to you if you do not finish college. She is very happy and lives a simple life without any complications - I think her life is the bomb!). Of course she does not like that at all!

 

Julie - August 1

My husband and his sister are exactly 10 years apart and now he is 29 and she 39 and they get along great. She was like a second mother to him growing up. What is great about it is they each will have had the experience of being an only child since they are so far apart in age.

 

Amy - August 1

Julieann my oldest will be 10 1/2 when i have my 4th but it really don't worry me at all i know they will get along great she is 5 1/2 yrs older than my 2nd and they all get along GREAT

 

C - August 1

Are you having another son?

 

Wanda from NM - August 1

Julieann, my first son will be 16 when this baby is born, and my daughter will be 12. Neither live at home, and this is my BF's 1st baby, so, it is almost like the baby will be an only child, unless we have more. Though my daughter is excited about the baby, my son could care less, but then again, what 16 year old boy likes babies? What is weird for me is that I could be a grandma soon, (I am only 31), and the baby and grandkid would be close in age. I like the fact that I am older now, and at a point in my life where I can enjoy this experience. I really think you don't have anything to worry about, enjoy your baby, and the different experience being older will bring. Good luck to you.

 

dayi - August 2

ok my mom had my little sister when i was turning 12 it was good because i help her alot.my little sister is 7 now and i love her like if she were my baby i never been away from her even though i am married and don't live with my mom and her. but i'm always there when she needs me and since i have been true her age before and when she i s a teeneger i will be there to give her advices and help her. i am pretty sure your son will be a big help

 

Soleil - August 2

My experience sucked. When I was born, my brothers were almost 10, and the other one was 15. I dont really talk to them like that at all and im 20. I don't really have any kind of relationship with either which is sad. But my situation is a little different. When my parents came to this country they left my 2 brothers with my grandmother, they were 1 and 5. My oldest brother is still in El Salvador and the other one lives with my mom, He came here when he was 16. At first we got along because I was soo excited to have a big brother and he could drive and take me places but as i entered the teenage stage i stopped talking to him because i was into other things like hanging out with my friends and i moved out when i was 18. My daughter has an older sister who is almost 8 years older than her and she is a big help to me. I guess its different for everyone. Alyssa (oldest) loooves my baby sooo much and my baby loves her too. They have such a great time together. Im glad Alyssa is much older than my baby.

 

karine - August 2

LOL...me and my only sister. have 7 yrs apart. i didnt like it growing up. and i promised myself that my kids woudnt have that big of age difference...LOL they have 18months. my hands ar full though. But we all have different opinions

 

Julieann - August 2

Thank you all for your stories - it is really comforting to know there are others out there (I knew there would be but when you're sitting home after everyone else is in bed for the evening, the quiet sneaks up on you and your mind starts going crazy). It's good to have a forum like this... Thank you all soo much!

 

Julieann - August 2

And to Karine - if I had the choice, I would have had them closer together - It didn't work out that way (not for the lack of trying though)... God has other plans :) And to C - I'm 8 weeks tomorrow, don't know if it's another boy or a girl this time.

 

Hi - August 2

I am 11 yrs older than my younger sister. I think we might have had a "sibling like" relationship ( if that makes any sense) had we been closer in age, instead I took on a second mommy type role. So she is spoiled rotten now, but we ARE very close!

 

Dawn - August 3

Oh yeah, My first son is 11 yrs older than my second. I had the same fears. Then imagine my shock at when I went into have my IUD strings trimmed after the birth of my second son and they weren't there. Yep my IUD came out and I didn't know it . I was pregnant. So I now had a 12 yr old, a 2 month old and was going to be a mom again. My boys are now 14, almost 3, and just turned 2. They are very close to one another. I thought my oldest might be embarrased or feel uncomfortable about his little brothers. But he's not. And he is huge help to me with them. I think it's been a really great experience for him. I know now that he will be a great father to his kids someday. He really loves not being the only child anymore. He has a very special relationship with my smaller sons that I belive will last their lifetimes. So just be mom to them, they will work out the big brother thing. Good luck and congratulations!!

 

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