41 And Wanting A Child Husband Doesn T

1 Replies
theschmoop - September 29

I could sure use some advice or comfort. I just turned 41 and don't have any children. When my husband (of 13 yrs) and I met, we both agreed that we didn't want to have kids. For the past 5 yrs now, I've had the baby urge and it won't go away. I keep talking about it and he keeps thinking about it. But we never come to a conclusion. 6 months ago, he agreed to start trying then freaked out and changed his mind after one month of trying. I finally told him how much this really means to me and if it's not something he's willing to do, I think we need to separate. I'm out of time, and if we separate, I doubt I will ever have a child. I've given him a couple of weeks to seriously think about things. I'm so sad...

 

rpats - September 30

Wow. That is a tough situation to be in. I feel horrible that something that should be as great as having a child together, may actually tear you and your husband apart. Has he listed out for you what his reasons for NOT wanting a child are? Maybe you can ask him to literally write them down- and then you can sit with him and discuss them one by one. For example if 'finances' is an issue- go through your finances with him, give him the rea__surance he may need to understand that you will be okay financially if you had a child. GO through the whole list, and let him know you are supportive of his concern- parenthood is an irreversible thing.... and you dont want to pressure him into something he is not ready for, or even worse, doesnt truly want. Maybe he just needs to realize that the things he is fearing will work themselves out....

 

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