Advice About Baby S Surname

22 Replies
Hayley - April 14

Just wondered if anyone had any general advice about what surname the baby should take if it's parents aren't married. We don't intend to get married in the short term although in the long term it's a possibility. It's causing a bit of tension at the moment as each of our families has different views. Any opinions/advice would be appreciated. (I'm in the UK by the way). Thanks

 

L** - April 14

I see a lot of people that hyphenate the surnames of both parents like Smith-Johnson. If you don't like this I would say give the baby the father's name IF you will change your name when you get married (even if you don't marry the father). This way, the child has someone to a__sociate it's name with for the rest of it's life AND if you marry the father, all of you have the same last name, if you marry someone else, then at least he shares his father's last name.

 

A - April 14

Good question. I'm in the same boat and I really want my baby to have my last name. I'm in Canada, can I do this?

 

Jamie - April 14

I don't know about the UK or Canada, but in the U.S., whatever name goes on the birth certificate is the baby's name - a mother can legally name her child Santa Claus, if she so chooses. Or the father, if he's the one who fills out the b.c.

 

Hayley - April 14

It's difficult because my surname is short and sweet and my boyfriends surname is quite long (3 syllables). I'd quite like him to have my surname as I know he'll always be with me but I know it'll be a lot easier to give him my boyfriends name in case we get married one day. I think a double barrelled surname might be too long winded. I like the name sebastian and that plus his surname will be a right mouthful!

 

Malefcient - April 14

any child i push out MY v____a will have my name.

 

Jennifer - April 14

This is what I did.... I was with the Father for 5 years, before getting pregnant, I figured we would be together forever, so I did the hyphenated thing, using both last names, well a year after having the baby, we broke up, because he obviously wasn't ready to be a father, then after another year and a half of seeing him whenever he could, he jsut stopped calling, and stopped visiting, I could not beleive that he would do this to our son, and to me after we were together for 6 years!!! I had to pay to get my sons name changed, to just my last name, becasue I didn't want him to have the last name of someone that he didn't even know, seeing how he was only 3 when his father stopped seeing him. Since then I have met a wonderful man, we are married, so my last name is the same as my husbands, but my son has my maiden name. We are looking into having my husband legally adopt him, so then we will have to get his name changed again. My advice is to give him your last name until you are married, then get the name changed, I don't want to sound negitive, but you don't know where your baby's father will be in a few years. That is just my view on it, becsaue it is what happened to me.

 

A - April 14

To Malefcient: LOL you're right, I do all the work and then he gets to slap his name all over it? I don't think so. My bf is not gonna like this though, at the end of the day is it me who puts the name down or him? I can't hyphenate because we both have 3 syllable last names, that would be messy.

 

April - April 14

I had this same problem. I'm currently 26 weeks pregnant. Origionally I was going to give my baby girl her father's last name, but as the pregnancy has progressed, the father has become less and less involved. He broke up with me when I was four months pregnant because he was "too busy for me," and now has a new girlfriend. I don't feel that he deserves to give our daughter his last name. They say it's easier to change from the mother's name to the father's rather than the other way around, so I figure if later he decides to become supportive THEN I will give her his last name. MAYBE. As for now... I'm the one caring for this baby, I went through the morning sickness, and the cramps, and the backaches, and the Dr. appointments, and the needles, and soon the LABOR! so I think she should have my last name :)

 

Smoothie - April 15

I'm so glad other girls are having the same issues as me. I've got three weeks to go and we just can't agree on whose surname our baby should have. I know that at the hospital we're booked into, they register the baby's name as whatever the mother has booked in under, but her official name will be what goes on the birth certificate. It was hard enough to think up a first name, let alone our discussions on her surname. Thinking of flipping a coin? lol

 

sarita - April 15

VERY GOOD QUESTION!! The best thing I ever did was NOT giving my daughter her fathers last name. It is legally part of her middle name. (hyphenated) But, her last name is mine since I knew that she would definately be a__sociated with my family long term. I am pregnant with my son now. The relationship is good, but neither of us are sure of its future. My brain tells me to name my son Sanders (my surname)...but with daddy in the picture, I am not sure how feasible this is. I am a little confused too. GL

 

T - May 10

I thought I was alone in this. I am 8 1/2 months pregnant and I am going through the same thing about my son having my last name or his father's last name. The father and I have been together for a year off and on. We have been trying to make the relationship work, but it seems to never work out. Now that I am about to deliver he wants us to try to make our relationship work one more time. I am not sure if I want to marry him in the future for a number of reasons and a part of me feels like we shouldn't work the relationship out and we should just both move on, but take care of our child living in seperate places. I figure a better man could come in my life in the future and I am not sure if my baby's father is even going to be in my child's life like he should. I don't know what the future holds for the baby's father and I. My child is also going to be closer to my family anyway because we all live close by each other and he has no family members here and they live far in other states. I am not sure what to do. If anyone has any more advise I would appreciate it. Thanks so much!

 

Maleficent - May 10

when i had my son his dad and i were engaged and the relationship was rocky at best. i chose to give my son my last name. i figured that if things worked out and we got married then i'd change BOTH our names at that time. it did work out and now we all have the same last name. i'm very happy with the way i handled things, and hopefully you'll find a solution that works for you and your baby. don't let "dad" pressure you into anything, espeically if you still don't know if he's even going to stick around.

 

s - May 10

I know what your going through, i'm going through the same thing....name the baby after the daddy.....that way he/she won't wonder in years to come why he/she doesn't have it's daddy's last name......much simpler that way.

 

A - May 10

I would use your last name. If you do in face stay with the father and get married down the road, it is not that difficult to change the last name to his. Everyone that I know of that are not married have always used the mothers last name and changed it to the fathers if they did get married.

 

Maddie - May 10

My friend's sister named her son HER last name cause she hated the father. I think the father should also have a say so too. It's his child as well. I'd say give the baby the father's name especially if you're in love. Other wise the kid will be "out of the norm" in society and it might make him/her feel different unnecessarily.

 

Jen - May 10

9 years ago I gave my son his fathers last name. We didn't end up staying together and I REGRET doing it. Now I need permission from the father to change the last name and it's not cheap to go to court for this. Better off giving the baby your name.

 

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