Am I Really Ready To Have A Baby

18 Replies
Heidi - February 25

I am 21 years old,married and really want to have a baby..I am settled..don't drink alcohol,don't like to go out often..Ready for a family..Am I really ready?

 

lilmama - February 25

It sounds like you are ready to me, just having some doubts, which is normal, this is a huge decision that will be with you for the rest of your life. Motherhood is the most rewarding job in the world, in my opinion. Only you can know if you are ready or not. And rest a__sured, you will have doubts, its just part of it. Good luck

 

Maleficent - February 25

i'm going on baby number 3 and i STILL don't feel ready for mother hood some days. :o) if your truly ready then you SHOULD be nervous. having a baby is a big dicision. talk to your husband, and remeber there is never a *perfect* time to have a child, the best time is when two people are prepared to jump in and do it. for some it's 21, for some 35.

 

a - March 1

there is no right time to have a baby..if you're ready then you should talk to your husband about the way you're feeling and come to a decision..having a baby makes you a better person..do what your heart tells u love..

 

sheena - April 18

I am 20 and want a baby too! I am going for it i just got married but iam ready!!!!!

 

Ca__sie - April 18

Heidi, I'm 21 too. I just got pregnant 8 weeks ago. My husband and I married in October. You sound a lot like me. A lot of my friends who went to college are still hardcore partiers, don't have relationships....etc. and can't figure out how I am READY for all this and they aren't even close to being ready. Everyone is different. If you want to talk email me: [email protected]

 

Alicia - April 19

I am 21 also. I have been married for a year and a half. My husband and I went off birthcontrol last June. We finally got pregnant in December, but I miscarried in January. We originally went off birthcontrol to see what happens. I was nervous then but now that it has been almost a year and after our miscarriage I have had having a baby on my mind all of the time. I think with time you'll feel more secure with your decision. Good luck! Email me if you have any comments or questions at [email protected]

 

jasmine - May 8

seems like u answered ur own question. You say ur ready to have a baby, your settles, dont drink, and dont go out much. Well those are the things your not going to be able to do once ur pregnant, so i think ur ready. 21

 

Ashley - July 8

It sounds like you are ready, other the other hand make sure you are ready because it takes money, time, and patience and alot of love but if you really think you are ready hey go for it because you are the only one that knows, just follow your heart.

 

peace-full - September 4

Although you feel you may be ready, consider whether you are ready to give up time with your husband. I am 29, my husband is 31, and we have been married for over 7 years, have known each other for 11. We have put off children, in order to be able to travel, go on vacations more easily, and just simply "be" together. I wouldn't trade those years of togetherness for anything - we have grown so much and learned so much more about each other. Remember that you are constantly growing and learning about each other. I also didn't catch in your post whether it is just you that is ready or if your husband is also ready - just wondering. My husband and I have just now gone off of birth control, feeling like we are "ready"! We are totally excited- so good luck to you BOTH!

 

preparing4baby - September 6

I think 21 is WAY too young to have a baby - too immature and don't even realize it. My mom thought she was ready to have a baby @ 21(me) and was faced with a lot that she was & would never be prepared for. She says she wishes she would have waited 'til at least 28-30. Though each person matures differently. Be prepared for the unpreparable. I am 31 & still not ready. It has NOTHING to do with partying, but wanting to provide emotionally for a child with a strong, solid marriage and a stable home environment. I am almost there & look forward to that time when I am fully ready everyday. I think if you have to ask "am I ready" - YOU ARE NOT. Be patient you have PLENTY of time!!!

 

enjoylife - September 6

I think more importantly - have you spent enough time growing in a relationship with the man you plan to raise a child with?? It is very important to grow as a couple first, take time to get to know his values and to enjoy each other. I just don't think that knowing anyone for (what? you're 21 so 1-2 years tops!!??) a couple years is not at all long enough to decide if this is the right person to take on such a big responsibility with. Just take some time to grow together & ask yourself the same question again in 5 years. If the answer is still yes then GREAT. All you've done is grown more and created more wonderful memories with the soon-to-be father of your child. BE RESPONSIBLE! Too many people are selfish & have babies to fulfill some need that they have within. Once the sleepness nights kick in they wonder "what the hell have I gotten myself into???". When it is time for the 2 of you to have a baby, you'll know & have no need at all to consult strangers on the internet for the answer to the most important decision of your life!!!!

 

N - September 6

i sort of disagree with the two last posts. I was 19 when i got pregnant with my first.. My husband and i had been together for over three years at that point. Honestly, i think EVERY mother at some point during the sleepless nights thinks "what did i get myself into", but you look into your darling baby's eyes, and it's all worth it. No one is every 'ready' to have a baby before they get pregnant, very very few are prepared and know what to expect, but we learn, read, and use our maternal instincts to guide us.. I do agree though, that you should definately take a good look at your life and figure out where you stand.. have you finished all the schooling you want to do? are there any trips, or vacations you want to take? Even if you just take three or four months to party it up and be a kid again, alot of parents don't realize they miss it until it's gone.. Take the time to learn and read about it now, it will help you decide. I just turned 22 and am pregnant with #2 (i was 21 when we concieved). I know i'm ready, i know what i'm doing, i am NOT too young, i am a mature adult.. i actually make my living caring for other people's children! Also, from what i've learned, make sure you are in a place that has the room for a child, do you have enough bedrooms? Will you need to move?(do that before you get pregnant if you can). I'm not saying rush out and buy a house, but trust me, moving during your third trimester is STRESSFUL! The more time you have to prepare, the better. If this is what you want, talk to your hubby and make sure he is ok with it first, that there isn't anything he feels he's left unfinished.. Whatever you decide, good luck to you, i wish you only the best and i'm sure you will have a beautiful family someday.

 

blessed - September 6

At the age of 21 I thought I was ready to have a baby. I married my high school sweetheart, who I'd been with for 7 years I too was settled, had bought a house, went to church reg., didn't go out much, didn't drink. Tried to get pregnant for over 8 months with no success. . . . Thank goodness - the man who I thought I was going to be spending the rest of my life with had been cheating on me! He left me for someone else, bought a sports car & took her to some sleazy hotel at the beach!! MY advice - spend more time getting to know one another as a married couple before you rush into such a big step. Even if you've been with the guy for years, this is a different time in your life & being together as a married couple is totally different from being boyfriend/girlfriend. It is time that you should consider valuable(getting to know one another) and doesn't your bay deserve 2 parents who both love and want them to be in this world??? Doesn't your baby deserve to be brought into a secure environment. Too many people just say "I want a baby - I think I'm ready" but never consider the relationship they have with hubby. Make sure this is really what he wants & not just something he is saying to make you happy(or to make you just shut up!!!)! Good luck to you and best wishes!!

 

alisha - September 24

yes i think you are ready because you are 21 and married . you should try if that will make you happy.

 

Yup - September 24

I'd say so because having a family is fulfilling and those are some of the many signs

 

karine - September 24

Well if you think your ready....then talk to your hubby to see what he has to say. I have been married for 2 1/2yrs and together for almost 5yrs.And known eachother for almost 6yr. It was love at first sigh for us!!!!! We are the perfect match, and YES we got arguments LOL that lasted about an hour, we always find ways to fingure them out. I was ready to have a child when i was 19....i got my daughter, then at 20 i had my son, and now that iam 22, we are awaiting our third child (and last) LOL YES we had our hard time, Fortunatly for us we didnt have many sleepless nights, our kids were good from the get go, but they made it up in theit toddler years LOLLOL but we all love each other very much. And our kids too. I wish you good luck.

 

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