Anyone Else Rumered To Have All This Non Existant Help

10 Replies
Tye - January 16

I get so sick of being in I community that thinks I have all this help from my mother and babysitters ect. I am very closse with my mom and she loves her grandchildren very much and she would give them all she could but I don't ask anything from my mom. I take responsiblity for my own children and I have from the beginnig. It is a real slap in the face because it has been a load because I had triplets and I wanted to always be the primary caregiver and me and my husband always have been WE DID IT ALL ON OUR OWN DAMNIT! It's not like I want a prize, my children are the prize, but if one more person comes up to me andf tells me how lucky I am to have all the help I have I'm going to punch them in the face! I am also very intolerant of this att_tude from people because I am going through the tough phase of potty training and I'm pregnant again and working and am just really tired because of this potty training thing. I am not even upposed to extra help now- I just have no volunteers! So if I am going to be accused of haveing all this help it would be nice to actuallly have it!!! (siiiiiiigh!)

 

m - January 16

So sorry Tye! I can understand your frustration! Buy yourself a watergun and the next time someone does it, just give them a squirt in the face! LOL I'm sure that would make you feel better! Best of luck to you. I admire you for potty-training 3 at the same time. I'm frustrated just potty-training my one stubborn 2 1/2 year old!! Good luck sweetheart!

 

Rhonda - January 16

Tye,why dose everyone think your getting so much help from your mom?I am trying to get my 2yr old to potty train,it's not easy-i cant imagine trying to teach 3 kids at once.My fiancee works alot and i have to take care of a 4tr old,2yr old,11mos old.7mos pregnant now and i also have to take care of my mom b/c she has alot of illnesses.(taking care of her is like taking care of an infant b/c you basically have to do everything for her,but i love her and would never put her in a nursing home.But i know what you are going through.Hang in there.

 

Tye - January 17

Rhonda- I think people think I get all this help from her because my children are very close with her, as am I. She loves them very much and they love her and she takes a great deal of interest and pride in them but it all somehow translates into that I have her do the grunt work or that I employe her as continuious child care. I love that my mother and the kids are close-but I as their mother I believe it is my responsiblity to take on the brunt of the childcare so that their grandmother can just feel free to enjoy them as much as possible. Plus it isn't fair to ask someone her age and at this stage in her life to take on the task of chasing after three three year olds and I deeply resent that people think I'd treat my mother ( who I love ) like obligated free child care! Exspecially when we work so hard to not burden anybody with the grunt work of raising triplets. We (meaning my husband and I) have always taken great pride in the fact that since the beginning we hav'n't releyed on anyone else to keep ourselves functioning.

 

Tye - January 17

P. S. I'm so sorry about your mom. I couln't imagine what that would be like . During my pregnancy (besides my husband )my mom has always been my emotional support ( And these days I'm pretty frickin emotional) and a shoulder to cry on if I needed ( moms are good for that) I couldn't imagine how I would feel if she where that sick. You poor thing- you are taking care of your mom, pody training, and pregnant? Who is taking care of you? I mean who's shoulder do you cry on if need be?

 

Tye - January 17

M-that water gun thing sounds like a great idea( hee hee)- maybe I will get one. Thanks for your support it actually really helps me a lot to read. Good luck to you and yours too!

 

Rhonda - January 17

Tye,my mom has a mental illiness and when my dad died 2yrs ago,my sisters didn't act like they wanted to help take care of her,so i moved her in with me.I would never put her in a home.But with her illiness she has to take a ton of medicine and she has the mind of a little child,she also has a lot of medical problems like high blood pressure,diabetes,she has diarreah alot,she has a bad heart,etc.But it gets hard taking care of her and three small children and my fiancee works more than he's home,but ive adjusted to everything.Im so worried b/c i have no one to keep my mom&kids when i go to have my baby.I have to have another c-section on top of that.I have two sisters,one of them might have b___st cancer and she is suppose to have a hysterectomy so she wont be able to keep them,plus her 16yr old daughter is due to have a baby shortly after i have mine.And my other sister,well she is just a b___h and dont want to help out.The rest of the family would'ent lift a finger to help no one.And i dont really have any friends,so im kinda in a bind.It's hard having my mom like this,it's like i cant say"mom lets go shopping or I cant say"mom im having this problem and i need you to help me figure out what to do"She has been this way since way back when i was little so i never really got to experience the fun things a girl and her mom can do together.I have to open her soda,fix her breakfast,lunch and dinner(even if it's just fixing a lunch meat sandwich)she cant do it.But im not complaining,im just saying it is hard,but i love her and will continue to take care of her.I just wish things were not so hard,you know what i mean?

 

Tye - January 18

Oh Rhonda! No I can't say I know what that is like. I do however know when it feels like your up against a fifty foot wall that you don't feel like you are ever going to scale. Or to have those moments in life that you don't think you are ever going to get through. It can be a lonely and very scary place and you don't feel there is ever going to be a way you are going to get through it. Then one day you look back and say how did I ever live through that? It's hard to see now but you will get through this just like I am going to live through this potty training thing an eye surgery with one of my children build a baby room , and continue to do my job the best that I can all before the baby is born in May. And you will do what you need to do because one way or onther you will have to. Just try to remember this to shall pa__s and one day this will all be a distant memory. I do understand you must feel the weight of the world on your shoulders - you poor thing. But if you what to keep talking to me I know that somtimes just to talk and vent can make that load just bareable enough to handle. I know I sure value a good listener. I'm here if you want to vent. It does help. Hope to hear from you. : )

 

Tye - January 18

Rhonda-I should also clarify that my mother will watch the kids for me if I need to get the kids hair cut or go to the doctor and such. But it's the att_tude that I am not the one day by day running the household and taking care of the kids and being a full time mom that I resent . And I don't ever force the idea on her I just let her do what is comfortable to for her. And as far as babysitters go- well- I just havn't had any luck finding any. So although I think I have it pretty tough right now- I can see that I am lucky to atleast have my mother and husband and am not truely all on my own llike it sounds like you are. You are in my thoughts and please let me know if you just need to vent or a shoulder to cry on.

 

Rhonda - January 19

Thank you tye,you are a very sweet person.I hope your kids eye surgery goes well.I must admitt it is good to have someone to talk to.I hope things get better for you,especially with all these nosey people in your area sticking their noses where they dont belong.(I also think the water gun is a good idea)if you want you can e-mail me sometime my address is [email protected] it would be wonderful to have someone to stay in touch with.Things will be fine for the both of us(HUGS).

 

taterbaby - January 19

Best of luck to you both. I wouldn't try to even imagine what you guys are going through. But, I will keep you in my thoughts!!

 

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