Baby Shower For 2nd Child

173 Replies
Ann - January 24

I'm a single mother of a 7 year old boy and 17 weeks pregnant with child # 2. My mother and I were talking and I mentioned that for my baby shower I would like to use her house. She told me that people do not have showers for their 2nd child...I have never heard of this. I'm a single mom whose children will be 7 years apart...is it not "politically correct" to have a shower for the one on the way?

 

kae - January 24

whats a baby shower?

 

Q - January 24

I am on my second pregnancy and was told the same thing. So, I looked up some info on the net and found out a couple of things. It IS considered a breach of edicacy to have a baby shower for a second baby.....Unless the second baby is of the opposite s_x, the pregnancies are far apart in years, or this pregnancy is with a new husband or boyfriend. My two sons will only be 3 years apart, but I think that yours would be far enough apart that no one would consider it rude or innapropriate. I would say, go for it!!

 

m - January 24

I am 14 weeks and this is my 5th baby I had baby showers for all my kids and somtimes 2 one for my husband side of the family and one for my side

 

another m - January 24

I have heard that, too. I had a baby shower for my 2nd child because I had only recently became a member of that church. I attended a different church with my first one. Therefore, that was my first baby as a member at the new church, so they gave me one. However, that's all I will get from that church, just that one, even if I have a girl next time. I know, it's odd that it's like that. But churches aside, I would think that if your pals/family want to give you another one, by golly go for it! Political correctness has gone overboard anyway! It's too much work to try and follow every rule the PC police lay down! LOL

 

kate - January 24

Why would it be wrong to celebrate such a joyous event?

 

E - January 24

I think it is wrong to expect showers for each pregnancy. Just my opinion (as I bow my head in shame)..... I have always felt the purpose of a shower was to help a first-time mother. If it doesn't stop at the first child, where does it end? Surely one cannot expect showers for each child they have. The appropriate thing for friends/family to do for subsequent pregnancies, I believe, is to give a gift after the baby is born.

 

KM - January 24

I totally agree with E. I am saving all my stuff from this pregnancy because I don't expect to have another shower.some couples I know will throw a gathering at their house to welcome baby, but not a shower. My cousin who is preggo with her 3rd decided to have her third baby shower, and because mine was really big and my mom and bfs mom rented a hall, she decided she is going to do the same thing..for her third! her kids arent far apart in age either. one is 5, and one just turned two. My mother has 4 kids but 3 are with her ex-husband. and she had me 15 years after her last one with him. So she had a baby shower, because it had been 15 yrs apart, and I was her first child with my dad.

 

m - January 24

(this is the m you know, E... LOL). I like the way you put that. Gifts from friends once the baby gets here... good idea. I'm a gift lover, so if it were up to me, I'd still be having baby showers!! LOL Really, though I had people that brought little gifts to the hospital. That's always fun. My hubby bought me the most awesome gift and gave it to me the day I went in the hospital. Have you seen the movie "The Good Girl" with Jennifer Aniston and Jake Gyllenhaal? His name was Holden in that movie, named after the character in Catcher in the Rye. Anyhoo, I fell in love with that name (Holden) and we agreed to use it as our son's middle name. Hubby bought the book (Catcher) for me and gave it to me in the hospital. It probably sounds cheesy, but I thought it was neat. I'm not much of a reader, but that's ultimately where my son got his middle name, so I thought it was a neat gesture. Ok, I'm finished with that long story! :o)

 

jmarie - January 24

It is not proper to have a shower for a second child unless this is a second marriage or perhaps you are having twins. I personally think it is greedy to expect people to buy you things a second time around. You should save all of your stuff for your next baby or buy it yourself. You shouldn't expect gifts because you choose to have more children. A baby shower is very special because it is meant for a first time mom and usually after the first baby you have everything you need. A shower is to prepare the new mom. It is proper however, for the family of the new mom to have a small lunchean of some time with just very close friends and family. This should be a casual event not like a shower.

 

m - January 24

I dont ask for the baby showers there just given to me as i have given to many 2nd and 3rd time mothers i feel every baby is sp to all the friends and family first or tenth me and my family and friend have a really fun time having them for each other

 

Christine - January 24

I am on my third, and have had a shower for each...the shower is a fun gathering, and a reason to do so...but it also helps..my children will be 7 and 5, and no I did not save all of those things...I gave them to woman who could use them...I dont know about most of you, but unfortunately I need the help that the babyshower brings...a single mom...and do not feel that it is wrong...sometimes life doesnt hand us things in the correct order...but I do not think that if someone declines to come to my babyshower, or does not bring a gift that I would think any differently of that person...I still got to see them and enjoy their company...what is the big deal...do as you please...besides I never had the room to store things for years and years...and things get recalled and such just as well...expecially cribs and car seats...and toys...I had a few that got recalled...what good would they have done for me and my new born?...just my opinion..

 

E - January 24

Well, the "do as you please" does not really apply with showers b/c someone else has to throw it for you. They can be costly (I have thrown 2) and the etiquette is in place to protect the people who would be expected to throw you a shower. It protects us from looking bad if we don't throw the new mommy a second, third, and sometimes fourth shower. I still say: "don't expect a second shower" and "don't give your stuff away unless you plan to buy it yourself if you need it later". If you need subsequent showers, you may have needed all those things you gave away as much as the other mom-to-be. Or did you want new stuff? Hey m - I think the book is a wonderful and thoughtful idea. I cannot imagine my husband buying me a gift when our son is born. He can be rather self-involved. Funny thing: I did not get a shower b/c we do not live near family and friends. Boohoo. People have been sending us gifts and money. I definitely would not expect their generosity a second time around. I know that there are women who LOVE to throw showers and will do so at a moments whim. If you have friends like that, LUCKY YOU :):)

 

m - January 24

lucky us!

 

m - January 24

Hey E.... that post right under mine from 14:00 wasn't me. (the one from 14:29). I'm not really sure how many m's there are floating around here. LOL I may have to tweak my name to be more distinguishable. My name is Michelle, so maybe I could call myself mich...... since I've seen quite a few michelle's around, and I've also seen a chelle.... any suggestions?--- I hate it that you won't be able to get a shower. Maybe when you go back to visit home, friends and family will give you one. I also do not live near any of my good friends anymore :o( , so if I'm blessed with a baby girl, I'll have to hope my family buys us some pink things! Of course, I'm sure I'll max out the credit cards, too! LOL

 

m - January 24

It's me again E, just to let you know, that one from 15:42 is also a different m. This is getting confusing. I definitely will have to tweak my name! LOL --- Hello, other m. I see there are quite a few of us.

 

A - January 24

I could see throwing a 2nd shower if it was only very close friends and family. But I know at my age every other week I feel like I am getting either a wedding invitation or a shower invitation and I think being invited to a shower for a second or third child would be a real turn off! It is not appropriate to expect people to continue buying you things for each new pregnancy. I know some of you say that your not the one throwing it but I imagine some of the people receiving these invitations probably feel obligated and taken advantage of. I would not be happy to continuously fork out $$$ for gifts time after time. Usually when a women gives birth a second or third time friends and family deliver gifts to the hospital or thereafter. I thinkg this is being really greedy. Pregnancy and child birth are very special and so is each pregnancy but it is up to the person having the baby to provide for it.

 

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