Bad Bad Test Results For Lovely

79 Replies
Lovely - April 6

Holy Crap!!!!!I got a call from my doc today. Seems that my, uh, Alfa fetal protein something or other test came back positive... indicating DOWN SYNDROME!!!!! Now of course she told me not to worry, there are 'false positives' all the time, it could be that I am earlier than what we expected, blah blah blah blah. I am scheduled for an u/s next tuesday (that's a quick as they could get me in!?!?!?) to confirm the date. The reason I don't buy this, is that I've ALREADY HAD 2 U/S TO CONFIRM THE DATE!!!!! they need a 3rd?!?!?!?! I am freaking out, here! Then she gives me the speech, that I can choose to terminate the pregnancy, should the amnio come back, showing chromosomal abnormalities. SHI*@%! I was just taking about baby showers the other day! This is my 6th pregnancy, with only 1 child to show for it so far!!! I cannot handle another lost pregancy!!! Please, God, is this a test? If so, then why me? Can anyone help me make sence of this? I am usually so full of advice, and opinions... I really need some help right now!

 

Misty - April 6

It would be sad for you if you find out that your baby has down syndrome, because we always want are kids to come out perfect. Hence checking fingers and toes. But even if s/he does they will still be a wonderful kid that will love you and that you will love. Just enjoy it as much as you can. Not everything in life is what we would consider perfect, but everything has it's own beautiful qualities.

 

amanda.d - April 6

Lovely; I know its hard to hear but just relax, like you said its possibly a false +.Let's hope it is.If not look on the bright side, down's syndrom children now adays are making leaps and bounds.If this is what God chose to give you as a gift accept it for what it is and just keep reminding yourself that anyone can have a healthy child but God only gives a slightly altered one to the strong, consider yourself strong.Good Luck!!

 

Missy - April 6

Lovely - you poor thing, I will pray for you and hope for you!! I wish there was more I could do. Know that I am here, praying for you. Keep your head up -

 

Lovely - April 6

Mother Theresa once said "I know God would never give me more than I can handle... I just wish he wouldn't trust me so much". I just feel like I really cannot handle anymore. The truth is, I found out I was pregnant exactly one week after my husband and I deceided that he should have a vasectomy. I told my dr that I wasn't sure I was done having kids, but that I was definately done losing them. Then WHAMO... I'm pregnant. Talk about sneaking under the wire! It just really seems bittersweet right now, if my gift, is really more of a challenge than I believe I can take. I just feel so bloody numb.

 

Misty - April 6

I don't really know much of anything about children with downs syndrome. They look different and I think they are a little slower than the average person. But that seemed like it from the outside looking in. They smile a lot so they must enjoy life. I think this just may be a blessing in disguise to make you see how wonderful life is even when living outside of the box of normal society. I just have to think that a child with downs syndrome is still an incredible blessing. The hardest part is the way that other people look at them. The hurt you will feel for your child because of the things s/he has to go through because of mean people.

 

Lovely - April 6

Downs sydrome is a chromosomal abnormality that has a lot more to it than how they look. Most of them have congenital heart defects, as well as the physical, emotional and social disatvantages. We're not taking about a smiling being, here, we're taking a life time of medical care, for a child who will most likely die before their 40, from heart problems. This is potentially serious stuff. I have poured myself over my calendar for the last hour, and whether it's denial, or mother's intuition, I thin the dates are wrong. My last u/s placed me between 12-13 weeks, which was a shock, since my 1st u/s place me at exactly 7 weeks, 5 days. When I go over the calendar, these dates don't add up. Somewhere between 7 weeks-12-13 weeks, I lost 1 1/2 weeks, making me currently 16 weeks-tomorrow!!!! (Thursday) So, if my calendar calculations are right, I wasn't even 15 weeks when they did the screening test. I'm splitting hairs here, but it's all I've got!

 

??? - April 6

I know you are very upset , I would be too. But why does Down Syndrome mean a lost pregnancy? It's still your baby.

 

Mellissa - April 7

Lovely, I know you are upset, and I can only imagine what you are going through, but there is no need to swear at someone, I mean, you did want other peoples opinion, right? and you probably are gonna cuss at me too but I think that (???) has a point, it is still your baby. and I'm not trying to be politcal or rude or anything, I'm just trying to help. and I'm well aware that it is your choice, I'm just giving my opinion......you said you already had 5 miscarriages, so you need to think about what you want more, (forgive me if this sounds harsh) another dead child, or a living breathing child with a disability that will love you and that you will love back. I use to work at a group home, and there was a woman there with Downs Syndrome, and she was one of the sweetest people I ever could meet. and she was 55 yrs old. Also I've heard that some doctors don't even do that test anymore because of the high amount of False Positives...I know it sounds easier said than done, but just try to relax and not worry too much about it. also, they really aren't suppose to give you that test until you are about 16-18 weeks, so maybe thats why it came out the way it did, just keep praying and God will make everything okay, no matter what the outcome...

 

??? - April 7

I did read your posts and it seemed to me that all you were concerned about is that this child may be an inconvience. "We're not taking about a smiling being, here, we're talking a life time of medical care". I know you are upset, but all I was pointing out is that you wanted a child so badly and now you are getting one. I find it very sad that you could think that a child with disabilities isn't even worth having.

 

Sandra - April 7

Lovely, it sounds like there might be a real possiblity the dates are wrong. Relax is the hardest thing to do, and even though I am pregnant but not in your situation, I want to kill anyone who tells me just to RELAX, it'll all be alright. This is a very personal decision, and one you might not have to make after all, but if you do have to, good luck. Me, I would have a termination. Other ppl might see this as selfish etc, and I know that down children can have some quality of life. BUT I know myself and I know what I can deal with and how far I can push myself. And a down child will be past my limits. I don't really care what other ppl think about it, but I expect them to respect my point of view, as I do with theirs. I'm thinking of you.

 

Kate - April 7

You know what, I don't think that anyone should terminate a pregnancy, whether it be a healthy baby or a baby with downs syndrome...if you don't think you can handle it, give it up for adoption...and give someone else a chance who CAN handle it...who knows, once you actually have your baby, you may change your mind and want to keep it and love it, but at least give it a chance to live... I was talking with my doctor, who is by the way the best dr. I've ever met...He was adopted...his biological mother got pregnant with him through rape. she did not know the man, and although she was devistated and didn't know what to do, she knew abortion was not an option for her, so she went through with the pregnancy and gave him up for adoption...and he's my doctor, if that woman would have made the wrong choice, I wouldn't have had the chance to have the best doctor in the world....God is the only one who should be taking and giving lives...the reason we have miscarriages is because something is developmentally wrong with the child and they shouldn't be born...if God gives you the chance to have a full term pregnancy, that means the baby is SUPPOSE to live...whether it's healthy or not...there are plenty of women in this world who cannot have children of their own who would gladly take care of a baby that someone else gave up..downs syndrome or not.....there I'm done.....now let me just say before a bunch of people jump down my throat, that this is only my opinion...agree with it or disagree with it, but there isn't anything anyone can say that can make me change my mind. Thank you for taking the time to read my post..

 

Foxy - April 7

What a horrible shock for you! This puts all my problems into perspective. It's hard to know what to say. I've often thought of how I would cope in your situation and from what I've heard from other parents with downs children, I think I would keep the baby. They say downs children are very loving and have a much better quality of life these days because we know so much more about them and how to help them. None of us would chose this for our baby, but there are diseases which are much more debilitating and difficult to cope with. There are also varying degrees of Down's Syndrome. Is there a support group near you, where you can get more information and reasurance from other parents who have had to cope with this? Let us know what happens at the U/S. They may still be wrong. Even amnio results are wrong sometimes. I'll be thinking of you.

 

Lynn - April 7

Lovely - 80% of positive results from this test are false positives. Now they have a more in depth u/s that they can do that measures the water on the neck that is indicative of a downs baby. It is non-invasive and carries no risk like the amnio. Maybe should ask about having that done first.

 

Liz - April 7

Best of luck to you, Lovely!!! I will tell you that I know a woman who had results like yours and her baby did not have downs. I wish you great health. Please take care and best of luck in whatever your decisions may be.

 

Michelle - April 7

I truly feel for you Lovely. I too am 20 weeks and would be devestated with having to make a decision. We all hope it is a false positive and you have a healthy baby in 4 months. And remember, nobody has the right to judge your decision. You know what is best for you and your family, and what you can handle. Personnally, I dont know if I could handle it emotionally, financially, but I would not rule out any option.

 

michelle - April 7

My sister has Down Syndrome. She graduated from high school - two years later than most but she graduated. She is quite healthy - no heart defects, no major problems. She's overweight, but so's her mother. She was a cute little kid with good imagination. She always could entertain herself (my gifted brother couldn't). I know it's your decision (and my husband says he couldn't handle a "downsey" kid) but IMHO don't borrow trouble; you won't know what you're getting until it's here. That goes for additional testing and the baby. Good luck!

 

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