Bf Troubles During Pregnancy

13 Replies
Robyn - March 2

Ok I DO conider myself very fortunate, when I told my boyfriend he was sooo excited and he still is, but now its like he wants to be a daddy but he doesnt want to go through the steps to become one. Such as...he kind of beats around the bush about going to DR appointments with me, he isnt understanding AT ALL about the fact that pregie women have mood swings and all that. He just seems like he wants the baby and doesnt want to help me through the pregnancy. I know he loves me more than anything which is why this is so weird for me. Any help would be apreciated!!! Thank you in advance!

 

Missy - March 2

Robyn - sweetie, you aren't the only one. I am in the same boat you are in, only to top it off we just bought a house that needs a ton of work that I was supposed to be helping on so now he is kinda getting that whole resentment thing but not really....ugggg....men

 

Billie - March 2

My husband is the same way. He is excited about being a dad but doesn't want to go the doctor with me. If I tell him something about the pregnancy, it's like he's not really listening. I don't get it. I asked him what was up with that and he said that he is really scared that something might happen and he doesn't want to get too attached yet. I'm 27 weeks pregnant. I think that if something was going to go wrong, then we would already know by now. My appointments are going to be every 2 weeks soon. I expect him to be at each one. If he's not, should I be mad or should I understand his feelings?

 

Robyn - March 2

I agree Missy....uggg.....men! Yeah I hear you about the house thing, we are in the process of moving into a better apartment and the moving process in general is very stressful! I feel like I cant get upset because then he will and we will fight. He is so agrivating!!!! And Billie, I am prolly the wrong person to talk to about being angry or not because as of lately I get pretty angry pretty easy...ha ha ha. As for him going with you to your close to end of pregnancy appointments, he has no excuse not to. Not wanting to be attatched yet is not an excuse. What you need to tell him is that there is still a small risk (not trying to scare anyone) that the baby could die within the first year of childhood...sudden death syndrome, crib death...etc. So tell him that and ask him is he is going to wait untill the babies 2nd bday to "start getting attatched."

 

Heidi - March 2

I hear ya. When I mentioned going to my 2nd appt with me, he was like, what for??? But that doesn't really bother me either. He's a guy. I know that's no excuse, but I don't mind going alone and filling him in when I get home. I'll make him go when I have my ultrasounds but other than that, he'll be worse than a kid in the waiting room!!!! We too are moving as our house is being built this month and I was pg when we were doing the floor plans and found out we had to move so soon. He's been doing all the moving. I pack a box or two and that's it. It sucks. I have no energy either but he's been really good about not nagging me about it either. He says I'm just a moody witch lately but understands why and doesn't challenge me too much. Sometimes I just stand there and yell at him and he'll just come up and give me a big hug. He knows I'm scared as this is my first pg and I wasn't really thrilled when it happened. He's more happy than I am about it but I'm slowly accepting it. I'm only 7 weeks along. So he knows I'm having my doubts so he understands where my anger is coming from. But now he's working overtime a lot so he's not home at night when I'm the sickest and sometimes that ticks me off!!!! I'm grouchy today. Now I found out we have to be moved out by this weekend so I hope I get a sudden burst of energy. Just remember, they're men. They don't think like women that's for sure.

 

Robyn - March 2

Heidi I hear ya about the no energy thing. I cant even get out of bed in the morning to come to work.I make it here every day but just barely. This is my first preg too and my BF is usually understanding bout most stuff like having to use the bathroom every 5 seconds wherever we go, or needing to snack every so often to keep away the sickness. You know what else is weird though I am only 7 weeks also and are you having to use the bathroom all the time already? I thought that didnt come untill later! Frustrating.....but exciting. I just cant wait untill my first ultrasound!

 

Billie - March 2

My husband has only missed 2 appointments so far. The first one I was really mad because it was the first time I heard his heartbeat. The other one I asked him not to go because I was getting... checked... and I didn;t want him to be in the room. He goes to my appoinments but it's like I have to drag him there. I hopw that this c___p will change soon!!!

 

Ellie - March 3

Robyn, I too understand completely!! I am getting SO irritated with "Big Poppa" too - I asked him to come to my first OB appt (he had plenty of notice) and he beat around the bush saying he'll have to check and see if he has any meetings that day, and what would be tell his boss? How about the TRUTH? Let's start there!! Anyway, he thinks I can control my pregnancy hormones/emotions and gets really annoyed with me whenever I bring up the slightest fear. This is my 4th pg, I've had 2 m/c in the past so I have every right to be scared and nervious! Men...why do they have to be so insensitive?! GRRRR! Hang in there, and good luck to you!! You are definitely not alone!!

 

P - March 3

I think my BF came to 2 of my appointments. H estopped coming because he doesn't like my doctor and is afraid he'll say something to her. I'm jealous. I don't like her either but I'm stuck with the cow. I don't really care about the missed appointments, I'm onlt there for about 20 mins. total and I don't see the point in making him lose 2-3 hours of work so he can watch her take my blood pressure and measure my belly. They also weigh me every visit so I can live without him seeing that too! lol

 

tina - March 3

i think its just some mens preference. my husband has never missed a doctors appt. with any of my pregnancys. but he knows the risk factors involved with me and hes also a paramedic. so its just a pet peeve of his. my sisters hubby didnt go to any of hers, but he doesnt love his kids any less. he just didnt like the whole doctor thing. but, he was a trooper at the delivery. he was amazing!! i dont think it means that hes any less excited about the baby.

 

Heidi - March 3

Robyn - Actually that's one thing I don't get. The frequent urination that is. I still drink a can of pop at work and then sometimes at night I drink tons of water and yeah I do get up in the middle of the night but I would before too. So I haven't noticed the frequent urination at all. Is your stomach starting to fill out at all? I notice my upper stomach is a little but when I lay down it's flat and I can suck it in so I'm thinking I'm bloated from all that water I'm not losing! Ha ha! I'm 7 weeks today if my calculations are correct. They didn't give me an exact date at my first appt and said they would after my first ultrasound. So I could be totally wrong but I'm sure my calculations are correct.

 

Robyn - March 3

To Ellie; yeah mines the same way. He thinks the moodswings I am going through is just me being b___hy. He likes to make those little rude comments too when I am right in the middle of a swing. Like, "This is definatly our only child, I cant handle you being like this." Yeah, thats real nice there. Its hard for him to understand what I am going through and I try to get him to read stuff or sit down and talk to me and he wont read anything and when we sit down and talk and I try to tell him about what is all going through my mind and why I am flippin out all the time he gets upset and then we start fighting. ::sigh:: I am just really frustrated with all the other stresses on top of the pregnncy and you would think the one person that would want to help you out the most would be the other part to the party. I mean how dare they get upset about our moodswings and all the other "Fun" stuff....I mean hello?! We didnt do this by ourselves! Its not like we woke up one morning and was like "I think I am going to impregnate myself today...hmmm" Its a two way road....WAHY CANT THEY SEE THAT?!?!?!

 

Ellie - March 3

Hi Robyn, have you heard the old "are you going to be like this for the whole nine months?" comment yet? Such kind words. If feel like asking him, "are YOU?" He thinks he wrote the book on pregnancy but if so, he must have skipped the chapter and extensive research on mood swings for crying out loud (which, by the way, I DO!). He won't read anything either, and when I try to talk to him, he just gets irritated and annoyed which leads to more arguing too. If he can't handle these early stages of pregnancy, how is he going to handle a REAL problem after the baby is born? Then a day after this vicious cycle, he always apologizes and says he's an a** hole, but that doesn't keep it from happening again. I've tried to put some distance between us, even though we really love each other, but we just found out I was pregnant about 2 weeks ago so maybe he needs time to get used to the idea. Who knows. Hang in there, and feel free to vent anytime. LOL - yes, I woke up one day and decided to impregnate myself. Boy, what fun!!! Maybe these guys just need a 2x4 upside their head!!!

 

Robyn - March 3

Ha ha ha or something. They really are a strange breed eh? I know its hard, they dont make it any easier. They need to understand that the arguing is just added stress that is totally not needed. Cant they just suck it up and be stomped on for a few minutes out of the day without b*tchin? You would think so. You know whats really funny too? Whenever he is sick with a cold or something really minor he is such a weenie! I will sit there and have to baby him until he feels better, "Oh I am soo soo sooooooo sorry you have a runny nose lemme get you a tissue!" Meanwhile, I am in the bathroom hurling for an hour everyday and he knocks on the door, "Didnt you just do laundry? I dont have any clean boxers!" I just want to screan at him, "DO YOU NOT HEAR ME HURLING IN HERE?" Then chuck a small, but dense, object at him. I dont get it and sometimes I think its just me overreacting....then I snap out of it and realize he is just an idiot! Anyways you can vent anytime to girl, I am at work all day and when I have a sec I check the boards to see what is goin on. You seem like a cool person to vent to and are going through the EXACT same thing as me. Wanna chat, lemme know ~~~> [email protected] Dont let the screen name fool you, its an inside joke, lol.

 

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