Carma Is A B

13 Replies
MYA - April 5

OKAY!! it all started on day at a party I meet this really nice guy and we talked for about two months before having s_x were going on six months and I'm pregnant. when we first meet he told me he had a girlfriend but they were on and off. every time I asked him about there relationship he'll tell me that there not together and change the subject.one of my very close friends from high school has a friend who happens to be engaged and also pregnant was having her baby shower me being board and still not showing went to the baby shower only to find out that it would be the worst day of my life. when I get there I see the man that I've spent the last six month of my life with sitting next to the girl that the shower is for thinking nothing of it I walk over and get's his attentions just before he introduces me to his fiancé and while telling her that I'm just a classmate from a few semesters ago. I haven't talked to him he changed his number and I've hard there moving in together. the other day I got a invitations in the mail for a house worming party from his fiancé I'm sure he has nothing to do with it all my friends are telling me to go and tell her the truth. I'm really not sure what to do I'm 8 month pregnant and big as a house should l make his life as horrible as he's made mine or should I continue living with this on my chest. please can someone give me some very good advise .

 

Misty - April 5

I wouldn't kno the first way about how to tell this woman, but I do believe you should. Not to make his life hell, but for her, and for your peace of mind. I am engaged and if my fiance was going around cheating, not just a one night stand mind you, but a whole relationship, I would want to know. For some people ignorance is bliss, but for me, to live with a guy who lives like more than one life (is that a good way to put it?) I wouldn't want my happiness riding on a man like that. At least if she finds out she will be hurt but maybe she will move on to a relationship with a guy who truly cares about her. And for you, as a way to make his life hell I would so take him to court for child support. They can take it right out of paychecks now so he couldn't do much about it. Plus, it would serve him right to get dumped and have to pay child support for two babies. His life should become a living hell just for being so selfish and uncaring(sp?). That just isn't why you should tell his fiance. But do please tell her.

 

amanda.d - April 5

If i were you i would not show up it could potentially ruin her night which isn't fair to her, however i would mail a baby on the way card and let her know that the knight of her dreams is in fact a fink and loser.Also be sure to take him through the wringers.LOL. He deserves it.

 

leslie - April 5

You should definetly tell her..for her own good and yours...what if you hadn't catched him???? would he still be with you and his big lie?? and plus its obious that he preffers her than you and is treating you like if you were nothing..if you don't know how to tell her you should probably write a long letter explaining nothing but the truth to the girl go to her house and just drop it off..she will know what to do...is your responsability to tell her the truth..Good Luck and keep us posted

 

Misty - April 5

Ahh yes, I do agree with that, don't tell her at her house warming party. There will be a lot af pain headed this womans way if you tell her. Just let her have this good day first. And saying something in the form of a letter might work really well also. It will allow you to calmly think about what to say without the pressure of her standing in front of you. It will also give her something to show to her fiance when she confronts him. Might also be a good thing to leave a number so she can call you if she chooses to make sure that this isn't some kind of cruel joke. So sorry for what you have to go through also, this is going to be so hard on you, you might end up having some people mad at you, and you are going through pregnancy also. Life is such a bit*h sometimes. Oh hell, do what you feel comfortable doing, you are the one that will have to deal with anything that happens so do what you think is best. Good luck with whatever you decide to do, this is tough on you no matter what. I'm sorry for that. Wish no one had to go through things like that.

 

SugarPie - April 5

Wait.. both of you are preggers with his baby?

 

Foxy - April 6

Tell her. She may hate you for it but she NEEDS to know. It will be worse if she does marry this guy. Give her a chance to make a wise decision and ditch him before it's too late. She may decide not to believe you and stay with him anyway, but at least you can say you tried. If she's smart then she will believe you and the two of you can support each other in this difficult time. Don't worry about making his life hell. He clearly doesn't care about anyone but himself. I can't even imagine how awful this must be for you. Best of luck to you and your baby.

 

grandma - April 6

well first off you should had not mess with him in the first place if you new he had a girl friend. in plus he was not trying to give you any info about the girl any way in that should told you what time it was in the first place, meaning that she was his main girl. but anyway you should tell her so she could know whats up, in for him to learn not to go out side of his relationship.so if i was you i just go over there a.s.a.p.

 

Chyna - April 6

Homegirl Homegirl. I would have to agree with your friends.you should go and expose his cheating A**. you got to. this is not your fault and it's great to know that your strong enough to have dealt with this through your pregnancies but enough is enough. what makes his happiness more important then yours you did nothing wrong. and his fiancé is a friend of your friend so you don't have to explain anything to her all you want to do is let her no what kind no good dog A** nothing nobody worthless man she about to marry because with a man like that he'll lie his way out of it and they'll still be engaged but just as long as you let it be known that you don't need him don't want him and could care less about him when you leave that problem will not follow you. then it will be her problem and if she's smart enough she let him go and it will be his problem and that's who it belonged to in the first places. don't let a man stress you give him just what he gives you. whether that's happiness,joy,love,pain,hurt,grief whatever. never give him the advantage especially over the way you live your life. homegirl you have lived with this long enough it's time to let go and move on if you don't decided to go to the house warming then write her a letter with some facts so he can't deny anything. give that problem right back to him and you and your child start a new life with no regrets no hurt and most importantly no him

 

Sammy - April 6

Tell her. If she doesn't believe you, get a paternity test. Then get a lawyer. You don't need to make this guy's life harder. But he does need to take responsibility for the child growing inside you. You should not have to shoulder this burden alone. That child is half him, too. Although my raging hormones are telling me to tell you to destroy his life, you're right is a__suming karma will bite you for that route....

 

SugarPie - April 6

Either way, girlfriend is not going to leave this man. She'll be devastated, make life a living hell, scream, yell, cry and what have you.. but you will become the enemy in her eyes (not the dude you two share) and she will do all she can to make your life miserable. That said, dude will ultimately have to pay out of pocket for both children, but remember.. he's subjected to visitation rights as long as he has to make payments. Do you really want this woman to have visitation rights to your child and you have absolutely no control over how she treats your child? In a sense she and this "man" could have joint custody. I say don't do it. She isn't going to leave him. Not pregnant and half way down the aisle. And the wrath against your child will be felt.

 

tara - April 6

I think you should tell her - either before the house warming or after but make sure you have someone with you for support when you tell her. Hopefully this other girl is smart enough to see him for the true a__s that he is. I don't know if a letter will be helpful in that he might see it first and never show it to her. SugarPie is right too - you don't know this girl and you don't know what her reaction might be. She might trun into your enemy and make everything even worst by helping him get custody if that's what he decides to do. You really have to think about all the possibilities before you make a decision on what to do. Put your self in her shoes and see how you would have wanted this handeled if you were her; and if you decide to go to her tell her that you have thought long and hard abvout this and you would have wanted to know the truth if you were her...and hopefully she'll understand where you are coming from. good luck.

 

Misty - April 6

If you make him pay child support he will have visitation rights. But he wouldn't be able to get custody. No court would take a baby from it's mother and give it to a man who concieved it by cheating. You have nothing to worry about there. If you are worried about how you will be affected by telling her though then write a letter and leave out your name. But leave a number for her to call and confirm things if she wants. I just can't see not saying anything to a woman who's fiance is so devious. I mean he was pretty much living two seperate lives. Like Leslie said. What if you hadn't caught him? He would probably still be living his little lie. I just find it very unfair to keep information like that to yourself. I would really want to think that if something like that happened to me I would be told about it so I could make up my own mind about wether or not to leave. It is just a man like that would scare me. She has no idea about what kind of person he is...or what he is capable of. To me people like that are scarey.

 

SugarPie - April 6

I don't understand what you mean by a man couldn't get custody of a child who is a product of cheating. That's just not correct. A lot of courts today are giving custody back to parents who shouldn't have children in the first place. There was a case last year of a woman who bore a set of twins by a married man. The girls were three or four years old when they were taken away from their mother and were in the custody of their father who was a disgusting cheat. His wife was so vengeful that they went for sole custody and got it! Fifteen years ago and maybe even ten years ago I would have agreed with you, Misty.. but today it is a serious c___p shoot. You just don't know and sadly money talks. If this dude has the money or his future wife has the money.. they will and can take Mya to court and get custody. The court doesn't judge morality, the court judges law.

 

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