Cigarette And Coffee

76 Replies
Newhoneybuns - May 20

Ok well this topic will not be used to judge other people or make bad remarks to other please keep it somehow clean :) Ok well there it goes .. i'm almost 19 weeks pregnant and i still drink my 2 coffees every morning and haven't managed to quit smoking. When i went to the doctor's and told him (about 2 weeks ago) he said it was ok. He said not to drink to much coffee and that 2 or 3 coffee a day aint that bad. About smoking all he said was .. i'm not asking you to quit but just slow down if you can. I was in shock. I know smoking isnt good but i'm a long time smoker and dont have the willpower to stop cold turkey. Sometimes i feel like a bad mommy to this little one inside of me. Sometimes i am afraid that the pregnancy could still go wrong (misscariage) cause of me smoking. But then again i think of those that did drugs during pregnancy and still got a healthy baby. Kinda reassures me a bit but not by much. And it's weird also that my family (my parents, my husband, my in laws ) they don't tell me to quit or don't judge me or anything (and none of them smokes) It's mostly people that i meet that i barely know that give me speaches about smoking while being pregnant. Anyways if anyone else does smoke while preggy please talk to me so i know i am alone ! Thanks in advance, Natacha

 

cindi - May 20

i'll pray for your baby

 

Jenn - May 20

Seems like the only reason you haven't tried to quit is cause no one has told you to. Personally, no one should have to MAKE you take care of yourself during pregnancy-you should want to for the sake of your baby. There is never a better time to quit then during pregnancy-Don't do it for your doctor, your mom, dad, or family, or even yourself....do it for your baby. Women do it everyday. No one told me to quit smoking-I just did it cuase it made me sick to think that I was possibly hurting the baby. Hardest and best thing I ever did. So, I can safely presume that you'll expose your child to second hand smoke as well-that is a shame. :( I hope you decide to do what is best...not easiest.

 

iimsooflyx0 - May 20

Yeah i know exactly how you feel. Im 25 weeks and I have`nt been able to give up smoking either. I've switched to lights and cut back alot, but I know im not going to be able to quit cold turkey. And yeah, my family & friends are fine with it and dont judge me.. but then people I barely or dont even know will tell me how horrible I am for smoking ... but whatever it's your baby & your life

 

divinelibra - May 20

i still smoke too. i'm 22 weeks. i want to quit so bad. i know it's not good but it's SO hard. i don't know how to quit. i do know though my baby is fine and actually ahead of schedule. so that rea__sures me.

 

HannahBaby - May 20

just because your babies "ok" doesnt mean that its right.....if you knew all the chemicals that were in cigarette is would make you vomit.

 

olivia - May 20

My mil gave me the maternity book she was given when she got pregnant in the 70's. It said in one chapter "if you smoke, you should consider cutting down to one pack a day". Seems crazy now, but everything is relative. We all know it is best not to smoke, and you and your baby will live longer and healthier lives if you are smoke free, but I believe you can still be a good mom and a smoker. Good luck, I do hope you can quit, but don't let anyone tell you that you are a bad mom because of it. Because a lot of our moms were bad moms then.

 

Jenn - May 20

Please....There are sooo many women (including myself) who have done it-so it can be done. It sounds as though your trying to make it seem OK that you still smoke. Looking for support about how you haven't been able to quit. Well, here's some reality-you just have to DO IT!!! Smoke your last and be done! Doesn't seem like you want to quit just want to be in the company of those who feel that it is OK to smoke during pregnancy. It's sad. Not "holier than thou"-Please! Give me a break-it is clear that quiting smoking is not important nor are any kinds of affects that it may have on your baby. In essence you are saying that you're willing to take your chances cause "others" have had healthy babies. Your placing bets on the chances of others when you could quit and get definite results. Its sad. Just got to do it!

 

Erynn21 - May 20

Okay I have to say I quit before I got pregnant, I did it to prove to myself and my husband that I was really ready to not be completely selfish. It was hard, but I was ready. My hubby smoked still, but as soon as we found out I was pg. he quit. I am not judging anyone, this is just my personal side of it. I can't imagine smoking while pg w/ my daughter for me I would feel awful, but that's just me. I have a choice, my baby doesn't. Now HannahBaby have you ever smoked? Do you really know from your own experience what it's like to quit? It doesn't seem like it to me, now I see your point and yes ppl who are on public threads put themselves out there for others to judge there's no doubt about that. It also becomes a place for ppl to stand up on their soapbox and preach to everyone what thay should be doing, well we all should be doing something better in our lives no one is perfect. I agree with trying to do everything you can while your baby is developing, but I still have my 2 cups of coffee a day, and my chocolate, my doc. says it's fine and I (we) feel great. How the human race survived before we had all these rules for pg women is beyond me, just joking. Seriously though I hope that all of you who do smoke can find the strength within yourselves to quit for your child and for yourselves.

 

HannahBaby - May 20

i have never had to quit cigarettes because i was smart enough to never start.

 

mcatherine - May 20

On August 21, 2002 - I flew from Pennsylvania to Georgia at 2 a.m. to hold my mother's hand as she lay dying in a hospice bed placed in the middle of the living room of the home where I grew up. She could not speak, she could not open her eyes, she could not move her 73 pound frame. I sat on that bed with my brother, my 7 month pregnant sister and my father - her husband of 34 years- telling my mother that it was ok to die. We each took turns telling her how much she meant to us, how she had shaped our lives and how we would each raise our children to know what an incredible, beautiful woman she had been. She fought for every breath, inhaling with a treacherous sound that I, to this day, cannot get out of my dreams. Her exhales were filled with the fluid trapped in her lungs. It hit us in the faces, our hands, it dripped from my father's wedding band. As the breaths got slower, my father took her face into his hands and turned her towards him. He thanked her and told her that it was ok not to be scared. He told her how much he had loved her his entire life and then he told her to die. My mother, who had not opened her eyes in days, opened them and looked at my father - and one single tear fell from her right eye. Then she left us. Her name was Elaine. She was 56 years old. One month shy of her 35th wedding anniversary, mother of three children under the age of 35, grandmother of three under the age of 8, one more on the way. She was a smoker. I smoked, too, until I saw a positive pregnancy test. I don't want this for my children. And please whatever you, don't want it for yours. They deserve each of you for as long as they can have you.

 

mcatherine - May 20

Divinelibra - I happen to be an ex-smoker. And quitting was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I stopped, I started, I stopped. I gained 25 pounds, I d__n near chewed a hole in my lip. I cussed out everyone who came within 10 feet of me for weeks. I got the shakes, I threw up. I'm not now, nor will I ever be one of those people that tell you to just stop. It isn't that easy. I don't walk around telling people how bad they are for smoking just because I quit. It's addictive, it's calming and it goes great with a beer. I'm not even close to holy-roller. I drink coffee, even had a gla__s a wine a few weeks ago. I eat soft cheeses and shushi and even drink a coke when my stomach hurts. And I still want a cigarette every single day. I don't shake my head at people that smoke. It's a choice and they have every right in this world to make it, pregnant or not. I spoke of my mother dying for one reason - it's something an ultrasound can't predict. It gives you and anyone else that cares an insight into a world beyond "right now". I don't recall telling you or anyone for that matter that they were awful for smoking. But it made you feel awful for some reason. I don't know you - I never will. You, newhoneybuns, imsofly may be some of the best mothers on here - who's to say? Not me. I wasn't pa__sing judgment - I didn't tell you to stop - I didn't even say the popular "I'll pray for your baby" that appears on every thread like this one. I just don't want single person to live through what I did, but they do - every day - becasue of cigarettes. Does that make me arrogant? I'm truly sorry if you see it that way.

 

divinelibra - May 20

YEA, hannahbaby, actually i am. not that's it's any of your business. its people like you that p__s me off. your not helping anyone by making them feel worse about the situation. if you want to contribute your input POSITIVELY, give constructive tips. but you were "smart enough not to start smoking" so as far as i'm concerned, your NO help at all. "Anyways if anyone else does smoke while preggy please talk to me so i know i am alone !" why are you even here? MCATHERINE....i wasn't aiming that at you. (i don't usually say anything when it comes to STUPID people like her, cause all it does is make me angry. but i'm tired of seeing people looked down upon because of there choices, in this case, their CONCERNs. i also know she won't SHUT HER HOLE, i just thought it was time i said something)

 

CamysMama - May 20

Wow, I am really shocked by how rude some of you women can be to each other... everyone knows, and I agree, that smoking is bad for you and is dangerous for your baby, but no one has the right to judge someone else, a person who is completely different from you and is living in completely different circ_mstances. Really, I just started posting on this site yesterday, but what I've read here makes me think twice about continueing... particularly the posts here from HannahBaby. How dare you go off on Newhoneybuns like that, especially when you yourself have never had to go through what she is experiencing right now? I agree with Olivia, everything is relative and personally I think cutting someone down for their weaknesses is no way to help them overcome them. It is unacceptable to treat Newhoneybuns that way, HannahBaby, especially when she was brave enough to open this topic and admit she's having a problem quitting. Newhoneybuns, I know you're trying to cut back, and I do hope you will be able to quit, both for your baby and for your own peace of mind. And please don't let this be a reason that you DON'T quit smoking, because unfortunately most expecting mothers aren't this lucky, but it's true (despite what HannahBaby might want you to think) that some mothers smoke during pregnancy and their babies are just fine. A good friend of mine overcame her drug addiction for the health of her baby after she found out she was pregnant, but was never able to fully stop smoking. Like it or not HannahBaby, my friend's little girl is perfect, and was born on time, not premature, and was over 8 pounds at birth. Sorry to make it personal and start naming names gals, but I felt it was necessary because some of you were being so rude. Good luck to you Newhoneybuns, thank you for being so brave and posting this topic even though you knew it would cause a ruckus in the henhouse. Lots of love to everyone.

 

HannahBaby - May 20

The reason i said that i was too smart to start smoking was because someone pretty much said that i have no right to talk because i have never been addicted to smoking....Your right im not going to "shut my hole" because of people like you who cant just answer the question that is being asked, you have to attack other peoples advice/comments. I know that she didnt ask for "advice" but thats what shes going to get posting about smoking while pregnant. The only people who have said anything about what i have posted is the people who smoke.....Kinda hard to hear the truth isnt it??

 

HannahBaby - May 20

**MCCATHERINE** i am so sorry to hear about your mother. I got tears in my eyes reading your post. My Dad was just diagnosed with bladder cancer (directly linked to smoking) and i feel so angry that he could be robbing my children of knowing him. His father died when i was 2 months old (of unknown causes) and i have always felt that there was a part of me that i never knew and i dont ever want my kids to feel that way. its a very empty lonely feeling. I am so glad that you have stopped smoking. I was hoping that my dad being sick would change my mom and brother,.....but it hasnt and i dont think will, heck, my father is still smoking one cigarette a day. Good luck with you babies and god bless you and your family

 

CamysMama - May 20

Sorry HannahBaby, but I'm not a smoker and I still object to the tone you're taking in this thread. Seriously gal, if you've never been there, what makes you think you can talk like that to Newhoneybuns? Have you ever heard of the word empathy? Lots of love to you all, both the brave and the silly!

 

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