Depressed

5 Replies
Ruby - February 9

I just found out I was pregnant last week (quite a surprise). I am about 5 weeks and a few days now. When I first found out, I was very happy. I had never planned on having children but was always wondering if I would be missing out ( I am 32 years old and married) The problem is, now I feel depressed. I have never felt very 'motherly' or related very well with children. I also have a hard time bonding with people, I keep them at a distance. Abandonment issues I guess. I also love being alone and doing quiet things by myself. I am afraid when the baby comes, I will not be able to bond with him/her. I don't want to feel resentful, but I was happy before I found out I was pregnant. I am already mourning for my impending loss of freedom. What is also bothering me is that my husband is lazy and does not help me around the house. He is still like a lazy teenager living at home. I sometimes try to discuss this with him but he gets very defensive. I feel like his mother having to nag and remind him EVERY week just to take the garbage out. We've been living here 3 years, you'd think he would remember by now. I am going to have the brunt of the work when this baby comes. Anyway, I am so stressed out, my chest feels tight and I have trouble breathing. My stomach has been clenched for a week and is finally starting to let go, but I need some way to deal with this stress and depression. Anyone in the same boat?

 

Lisa - February 9

It's quite normal for your emotions to fluctuate during pregnancy, particularly in the first trimester as there are a lot of hormonal changes going on right now. I feel it would probably be a good idea to discuss your feelings with your GP as there seems to quite a few issues going on for you at the moment. He/she may suggest you seek some counselling to help try to eliminate or minimise the concerns you are having. I would also suggest that you take your husband along with you so that you can express your concerns and hope that he listens intently and makes the effort to support you and understand how you are feeling. All the best.

 

Naomi - February 9

Hey Ruby, i am exactly the same as u ,Don't bond with ppl & im a loner .But the fact that u are married proves that u are able to love and to bond ...somehow.I know when the baby will be born u will fall in love .I am too married and have 2 kids,( &ossibly one on the way ), don't worry urself at all,these are most likely ur homones talking.About ur husband, well , when the baby is there, beleive me ,HE'll have to grow up. Ur not alone on this one.Good luck to u !

 

Leahp - February 9

I know exactly how you feel Ruby! I was the same way for a while after I found out, I was depressed and mourning the loss of my youthful freedom along with my body that I work so hard at! But as the weeks have gone by I start to accept all the change and little excitment has flowed through me here and there. Believe me I know where you're coming from this is my first child as well!! For your husband, you really need to sit down and have a talk, shed a few tears if it helps, it always works for me, my husband can see right away that I'm upset! But I talk to him in a regular tone and no nagging, I've learned from my own mother that it never gets you any where, and I have seen how it makes my dad feel!! My husband ONLY takes the trash out, but now through out our talks and my stress and nausea, he's slowly coming around, cooking us dinner and doing the dishes!! I'm sure you're husband will come around, if anything tell him you're going on strike if things don't start to change, it always works for me as well!!! Chin up girl!!! It is partly hormones, these thoughts will pa__s, I'm an ultimate loner and me time person too, I feel ya!!!

 

Ruby - February 9

Thanks everyone, I feel a little better today as far as stress. I am trying to ignore my husband's insensitivities. It was my birthday yesterday and all he had to say was 'Do you feel old?' No card, no flowers , as usual. He did buy me some Heavenly Hash ice cream though. I swear I am going to explode really soon and I'll have my mood swings to blame it on!

 

cheryl - February 9

http://www.geocities.com/bctraveler2000/child.html

 

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