Dilema

15 Replies
Sarah - April 3

My husband and I of 3 yrs have never conceived. We recently split up. While split up I was still having s_x with him with no form of birth control or condoms. I also had s_x with one guy one night with a condom and as far as i know it didnt leak or break or have a hole in it. After the night I had s_x with this guy I realized that I want and need my husband and we moved back in with each other. He is aware that i slept with someone. One month later and I am now pregnant. Could it be this guys that I slept with? My husband and I are going crazy! For three years we havent been pregnant and now this? Im confused and I want a prenatal paternity test but I dont even know how to find this guy I slept with. Can someone please help?

 

X - April 3

When the baby comes out get a paternity test done for your (and your husband's ) peace of mind. If it's his, celebrate it. If not, maybe even this early discuss with him how he'd like to be a part of this baby's life. The most important thing though is if YOU are keeping this baby regardless.

 

Nikki - April 4

Tell him to kiss your a**! You and the baby will be better off without him!

 

Nikk - April 4

Sorry for the last post, I meant to make that comment on another forum! SORRY!

 

jena - April 4

i don't think Nikki understood - your husband sounds like he's being extremely supportive! i'd suggest a sperm count test for your hubby to make sure he can be fertile - if he can, then you can know that it very well could be him and that you probably got pregnant because you weren't trying and/or stressing about it. Also, you used a condom with the other guy so that is good... good luck!!

 

D - April 4

It seems like the odds would be that it is your husbands. Is your husband willing to raise the child as his own even if it isn't? If so, what will cause you more stress: the wondering if its his, or if you took the paternity test and it wasn't? You don't have to find the guy to do the paternity test... I hope you are able to work through this situation!

 

toes - April 4

Nikk, lol. Sarah, what's more important, finding the guy who may have gotten you pregnant so he can be a part of the baby's life or you and your husband raising the child as your own? It sounds like he'd be cool with raising a kid that he didn't have a hand in conceiving which is rare, and if that's the case stop worrying abt who's sperm contributed to starting the baby and concentrate on you and your husband providing what he\she needs for everything else. One thing, I'd definitely get a prenatal test done not so much to identify the father (tho I'm sure that'd help you and hubby to concentrate on what you're going to do rather than what's already been don) but so they can check on any genetic drifts or defects the other fella may have put into the mix.

 

Nikki - April 4

Again, I am so SORRY for my first post. I honestly thought I was posting on another forum! Anyway I looked up some stuff for you: Types of Paternity Testing: Postnatal (after your child’s birth) DNA testing: Blood collection and testing Buccal swab (cheek swab) collection and testing Umbilical cord collection and testing Other sample collection and testing (s____n, tissue, hair, etc.) Prenatal (before your child’s birth) DNA testing: Amniocentesis: This test is performed in the second trimester. During this procedure, the doctor uses ultrasound to guide a thin needle into your uterus, through your abdomen. The needle draws out a small amount of amniotic fluid, which is tested. Risks include a small chance of harming the baby and miscarriage. Other side effects may include cramping, leaking amniotic fluid, and v____al bleeding. Chrionic Villus Sampling (CVS): This test consists of a thin needle or tube which a doctor inserts from the v____a, through the cervix, guided by an ultrasound, to obtain chrionic villi. Chrionic villi are little finger like pieces of tissue attached to the wall of the uterus. The chrionic villi and the fetus come from the same fertilized egg, and have the same genetic makeup. All of this and more can be found on: http://www.pregnancy.org/article.php?sid=1350 Please except my apology. I think your husband is being extremely supportive, you are very lucky! GL

 

Sarah - April 5

Ok...but i guess what i wanted to know is what are the chances that i got pregnant using a condom when as far as i know it didnt leak or break....i checked when were done...i checked kinda fast, but i checked. I have a prenatal dna test scheduled but now im paranoid about the test coming back wrong and i pop out a mixed baby. Im black, my husband is black and the guy i had a one night stand with is white. The reason for the dna test is to see if im going to keep the baby or not. But im scared that the people at the dna will mess up. I dont want to have some strangers baby thats why i used a condom. Then the shock of it coming out mixed....what will i tell people and i know that it will ruin my relationship...

 

Mellissa - April 5

Well, you already said that your husband knows that you slept with the other guy, and if he can accept it, then it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks...as for your baby looking mixed if it is the other man's, it is hard to tell what it will look like, both my white cousins married black men, one has 3 boys who are as white as she is, and the other cousin had 1 daughter that is as dark as her father...it all depends on the gene....but I really hope that this baby is your husbands, and from hearing your story, it sounds like it is....if you had unprotected s_x with your husband, and had protected s_x with another man, I'd put my money on the baby being your husbands....my husband and I have only been married 4 months, but we've been together for 6 years...and we have had unprotected s_x for over 5 years....and only just a week after we got married, I found out I was 4 weeks pregnant...I hope everything turns out okay for you :-) good luck.

 

Chyna - April 6

How in the hell!! you get caught up in some sh** like that. you and your boo needs to just wait until the baby is born. until then you 2 need to focused on what your going to do if this child is not his if he's not willing to be with you then you need to let him go now. whats done is done and now it's time to decided.your concern should be about what this husband of your is going to do(not that I blame him if he leaves you)you just need to be more then ready to handle this by your self. sorry to give it to you raw but it is what it is.

 

ginger - April 18

i wonder what the chances of becoming pregnant while using a condom are

 

tonya - April 18

im not sure what the chances are but i wonder if it depends on the type of condom used also. some are thinner i wonder if that would make a difference

 

gina - April 18

so you are going to abort this baby if it isnt your husbands?

 

jkjk - April 30

so what are the chances of becoming pregnant while using a condom and it didnt break or leak

 

for jk jk - May 1

about 2%-3% chance the box says i think.

 

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