Do I Tell Him And Where Do I Start Talking To Her

3 Replies
debra - April 17

I came home early from work and my daughter giving her boyfriend oral s_x I'm really not sure what to do in this situations she fourteen and very smart. I feel alone I can't tell my husband he'll kill her and most of all the thought of it will kill him( his little girl). I can't tell my mother or sisters because I'm embarrassed. I don't know were she got the idea from I never consider that until I got marred.How do I talk to her about it where do I start I've been avoiding the discussion and talking around it but it's time that I address it. this happened Friday and my husband is starting to notice our behavior. I think this should be something a mother and daughter talk about (top secret) please can any one tell me anything. I'm also pregnant and this stress and lying to my husband can't be healthy


Jenn... - April 17

Wow Debra, you must be very confused right now, this sounds like a tough situation to be in. I think you definately need to sit down and chat with your daughter. Explain to her all the risks a__sociated with s_x (including oral s_x), but don't tell her that she shouldn't do it, because she will anyways. Make an appointment to take her to a gynecologist and get her on birth control. You might be able to find one that will discuss the risks of STDs with her, without you in the room she may tune in a little more to that talk. Also, it is important to talk to your husband about you taking her on this appointment. Imagine how upset he would be if he found a pack of her pills lying around and you hadn't warned him about it. Now that doesn't mean you have to tell him you caught her in the act. Just tell him you think she is getting to a certain age, and you want to take precautions for her future.


jena - April 18

as much as I would NOT want to tell my husband and keep it a "girls only" thing, I have learned over the years that it's best to share it all - if he does find out, you'll really wish you'd shared! or if she acts up later, you won't be able to talk to him about "previous issues" and that could be tough. I'd tell your hubby (ouch!) and as for talking to your daughter, just let her know how you felt when you saw that/learned she was doing that... Don't be harsh or she probably will do it again. My husband read your question and as for the "where did she learn it?" part, he answered in half a second - from her boyfriend! Those young hornb___s will ask for anything and everything! Good luck to you - not a situation any of us are looking forward to/hope to be in! :( GL!!


Lynn - April 18

I agree, i think you should tell your husband - evern if you have to swear him to secrecy about it & let you handle it with you daughter. My mom caught me when I was about 17 having s_x with my then boyfriend.. I' 100% positive she told my dad, but he has never let on that he knew. & to be honest with you, it's the best thing that happened, she took me to the gyn & I got on birth control like the next week. If she hadn't done that, i probably would've ended up pregnant within a few months. As far as where she got the idea from.. well, my husband & I are in an ongoing "discussion" about this type of thing. My step son just turned 9 & he is BIG for his age, 4ft10 in & 115 pounds.. anyway, I tell my husband that he needs to start talking about the whole puberty & s_x thing to him, it doesn't have to be the full b__wn "talk", but can be kinda like a q&a session or a little talk.. My husband disagrees.. says that he is too young to be thinking about that sort of thing.. the other day, my stepson asked me what a libido was... I'm not one for trying to sugar-coat things for kids either, I think that if their opld enough to ask about it, their old enough to learn about it.



You must log in to reply.

Are you New to the forum? Sign Up Here! Already a member? Please login below.

Forgot your password?
Need Help?
New to the forum?

Sign Up Here!

Already a member?
Please login below.

Forgot your password?
Need Help?