Email Cheating

33 Replies
Maggie Rivera - May 17

Not a pregnancy question really, but I am pregnant so I figured I could look to this forum for help. I am 18 years old (young, I know, but things happen when we don't necessarily expect them too - I was on the pill). My BF is 29. We plan to get married before the baby comes. We live together now. I went online and since the internet company who we go through for internet also gives him email, I just signed on and the new mail message came up. I checked it and see that a girl emailed him and asked where the picture was that he was supposed to send her. I know he is not seeing anyone outside of me. That is not my question. My question is - do you think that emailing someone is also cheating on them?? Evn if you never meet face to face or anything like that? It's just a question. I don't know whether or not to bring it up to him. Thanks for your replys.

 

Stephanie - May 17

Is it from a real girl or is it one of those dating service things that come up in your bulk/junk mail? My hubby gets that stuff ALL the time as he has signed up to win all kinds of free stuff, (apparently we are going to win a million from Publishers Clearing House). If it is from a girl, I would ask him about it in a non-confrontational manner and have a discussion about what your expectations in your relationship are. Good Luck.

 

jj - May 17

Hey a few years ago i had the same problem w my husband at the time he was my bf, He was chattin w females online s_xually and exchanging pictues!! i took it very bad because i do think it is a form of cheating, weather it was just an ego boost or not i couldnt do it to him, so i was hurt that he did it to me, and i let me know how i felt. At first he denined it because he was ashmed but them he told me the truth..

 

tiffani~edd 11/07/05 - May 17

I think it could be a pre cursor to cheating. Why do they need to exchange pictures? If it was innocent, I don't think there would be a need to exchange pictures. I don't think emailing is cheating, if the emails are innocent in content. If he has nothing to hide, then the emails should be available for your viewing. Many affairs start on the internet, so beware of that.

 

Maggie - May 17

jj - Is everything OK now? Did he stop? To Stephanie - It is from a person not a bulk mail thing. I could tell because there was no subject line and she didn't sign it, it was a hotmail address. To Leslie - I feel the same way - I don't know if it is cheating or not, but it sucks never the less. I just don't want to confront him with it if it is nothing. To Katreona - For you to even suggest that I cannot raise my child, shame on you. With this man or without, I am a good strong woman who has a life inside of me that I will care for and love regardless. I will respect what you posted because you are free to post what you feel and that's what I asked for - opinions - but I must say that your post is incredibly insensitive and unsupportive. I may have not planned this pregnancy, but a baby does not stop the clock from ticking, nor does it stop me from going to school (which I am already halfway through college - I started when I was 16). I have a good job, a supportive family, I know his family well and am still in school - which my employer pays for. I feel that my baby has an excellent chance at a great life with me.

 

Maggie - May 17

I meant to add more to my last post - my baby has a great chance with me, as good as any other women, whether she be 20 or 30, a CEO or a waitress. My child has a mother who loves it very much. I have a way to financially support it, a family to help care and nurture it, and the emotionally stability to teach it. Thanks to all the other women for your support.

 

Carol - May 17

Well, I would consider it cheating. If he is speaking with another woman and exchanging pictures, then his heart and his mind are not with you. He is not commited 100% to you and is having thoughts of being with another woman. While he may not have done something physically with someone else, think about yourself. Would you converse with another man and exchange pictures with him if you weren't thinking about "cheating" This is just not right. Just because someone doesn't "touch" someone else it doesn't mean that they are not faithful. Think of how guilty you would feel if you were doing it. And if there is nothing wrong with it, why is he hiding it? This to me is cheating. At the very least, it is disrespectful and certainly not an action demonstrative of love. I would confront him. He may be hiding even more....

 

jj - May 17

Everything is good now, We had alot of problems after and it was along road for me to be able to trust him.... I dont think they see it as anything (which is retarted) because they know if we were exchanging pictures and talking s_xually to anthor man they would not like it!!! I told him how i felt and that online or not ur cheating without penitration because everything was there!!! online u cant see the person so ur more likley to let ur gauerd down and be more open and he was talking about personal stuff including me so i was heart broken... Ask him about it, dont let him just brush it off cause it is something he at least needs to know how u feel about it.

 

Maggie - May 17

I just feel sad. Even if he has no real intentions of going out with her, why start the talk? I have told him before, during a regular old conversation, that I think stuff like talking to members of the opposite s_x in a personal way is sort of like cheating. I don't even know if this girl knows about me and the baby. I feel sad about this, because I don't want to nag him or be the crazy pregnant girl. And you are right, they don't see anything wrong so long as they are the ones doing it - but if it was me - he would be fuming!! I have asked him before if I make him happy and if he has what he wants with me, and he says he does, but then I come across this email and that makes me think that I am not enough to make him happy. OR I am just over-reacting and I should just chill out and not worry because I know he isn't going to be with her physically. ARGGG - what do I say to him without letting him know what I saw?!?

 

jj - May 17

Magie what i didn was i saw him on a certain site, and i made a screen name and went on that site to try and talk to him, just to make sure i wasen't going crazy and i also didnt want to be a phsyco girlfriend that thought she saw something but didnt really have anything to back it up, so i talked to hime for about a week on that screen name and was very disgusted with everything he was saying and really suprised at the he was talking!!! And finally i confronted him he tried to say it wasen't him but i knew so much he couldnt say much... about a few weeks b4 this incident happened HE brought up us getting enngagged so i really was at a lost for words when all this happened and also felt liek somehow i wasen't enough for him, when in reality it was him just being a guy, My suggestion is to try and wait to get more info in case there is nothing or in case he tries to lie if u can.....

 

jj - May 17

Magie sorry to hear the new update, useally when men talk online they talk s_xually.... It sucks and hurts way more than u would expect!!! check in the the sent folder and u mite be able to see what he wrote to her.... if teh sent folder is off turn it on (i can do this at my yahoo not sure what email this is) and whne u read the next sent_tem just delete it so he dosent know.... If he is asking her if she is sleeping with anyone u want to make sure that she is not from ur area !!! and that he is just having online s_xual talk, I would email her yet.... do write down her email!!! just try to get more details so u can confront him... As to how u can do it without him knowing u were checking his email?? im not sure..........

 

jj - May 17

i ment to say i wouldn't email her, maybe after u confront him first just to let her kow that he dose have a girl and a baby on the way, sadly most women don't care!!!

 

Maggie - May 17

I can't turn on the sent folder - I tried but the email doesn't let me. Each email has to be saved to the sent folder, you can't save them all. So you really don't think I should email her? I am sooooooo tempted!! I just want to say something like "I just want you to be informed before you meet with ****. He has a baby on the way and a fiance at home." Nothing more than that, and I was going to email her from a different account than mine so she wouldn't know who it was from. I don't know how I am going to face him. I will see him in about 1/2 hour. What do I do?!?

 

jj - May 17

The only thing about emailing her is she mite lie..... u could email her and say u seen her email add and was wondering if there was anything going on w teh two of them, and so on.... But there mite be a chance she dose knwo about u and just lie.... Well i was emailing him for about a week and each email got worst and we alo lived together so when he got home from work i would get sick just looking at him.... but tried to get through it.... U can confnt him tonite and see what he says??? Or u can wait and know more so u know what to say?? I know this must be 10 times worst for u cause u are preggo im so sorry u have to go through it.

 

KrisD - May 17

Hi Maggie - Just my personal opinion... I wouldn't be deceitful. I would check out the emails today, but confront him about it when he gets home tonight. He will be mad that you were on his email, but remember that is not the issue. It may not be physical cheating, but I consider it to be at least 'emotional' cheating (and wouldn't want it to lead to physical cheating!). I wouldn't want my husband to get closer and closer to someone via email... My husband and I fell in love over email. (We met at work, but then moved away from each other.) It may not be anything serious, or might be so recent that it has not had a chance to be serious, but it will certainly get you upset. And that is the last thing you need being pregnant. I can imagine how you must be feeling as you check out his emails, and just think that you would be better off confronting him about it right away. Good luck!

 

Maggie - May 17

I want to email this girl so badly. I am going to hold off on it for now, see where things go. My stomach aches and my heart hurts just thinking about this. All I can do is ask God why? Why does the person I love have to hurt me? I will be back later - he is stopping by here in a few minutes to pick up some stuff and then he is off to his office. I will let you all know what happens - hopefully i can keep my mouth closed and not flip out on him.

 

jj - May 17

hey maggie i know exactly how u feel... well let me know what happens, and if u wan tto talk email me at [email protected]

 

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