Encountering The In Laws

12 Replies
Leahp - March 31

So, I went to the doctor yesterday after fretting for a week after my in-laws told me that there's a chance our baby could be mentally retarded since my husbands grandmother has it! So the doc was p___sed, saying that it's absurd what they told me and that he can't believe what people will say also that he would love to cuss them out for telling me such a thing! So I was like yea! that's what I thought so I e-mailed my husbands sister who was part of the conversation and highly negative and let her know what the doc had to say and for her and my mother-in-law to leave their negative thoughts or concerns to themselves, that it brought a very dark cloud over me and allowed me to cry around the house!! That one little seed got planted in my head and I just couldn't let it go!!! My husband is so busy and stressed with work and he was upset about it as well, so i just took it into my own hands, but I tried to be nice about it, or as nice as one can be!! Do you gals think I did the right thing or started a cat fight?? I'm just looking out for me and the baby, because the stress was causing cramps and I was beginning to worry!!!

 

Jamie - March 31

I think you did the right thing, but you probably also started a catfight...sorry hon!

 

JLorenzo - March 31

Leah: trust me, it is hard to keep your mouth shut when it comes to the in-laws! My mother-in-law gets under my skin all the time. If you don't tell them how you feel, they will keep nagging and putting stupid ideas into your head! You did the right thing in my opinion. But, you probably should brace yourself for drama. I had a situation with my sister over a year ago. I had to speak my mind. It felt good, but she still has an axe to grind with me. It is absurd that some people hold grudges against loved ones for something said...just be ready, but be happy you spoke up!

 

Leahp - March 31

Thanks!!! I am bracing myself for drama since my husband's sister is a firecracker, but if she gets p__sed at what the doctor had to say and me expressing how they need to keep their negative thoughts to themselves, I'll definitely become more disgusted!! I called my husband this morning and warned him and he has been wonderful!! He was a little weary at first but then said well, they brought it upon themselves and I back you, it wasn't right and a ridiculous thing to bring up!! Thanks for your rea__surance!!!

 

JLorenzo - March 31

Leah, good for your husband to support you like that. It is an interesting dynamic. I have often times felt torn between my family and my wife. I grew up as the oldest child. I have two younger sisters and my dad was an alcholic who moved out when I was 12. I think my sisters felt a little betrayed when I met my wife and got married. There was alot of drama and no one was too excepting of my wife. But I was and that was all that mattered. I figure, as long as you two hold onto each other, the world around you can do whatever it wants, and say whatever it wants...

 

D - March 31

I'm lucky - my in-laws are very peaceful people for the most part. But my family.... well, you definately have a catfight on your hands if your sister-in-law is like us! But, you know, I've been fighting with these people (and hating every minute of it) for more than 30 years now, and we still all love each other.... we avoid some topics like the plague, though! :-) If its been eating you up inside, and it sounds like it has, I think it was good to get it off your chest! Hopefully it will be a short drama!

 

Leahp - March 31

HMMM! Sometimes I wonder if that's how my husband's mom and sister feel since he was the only male in the family and their father took off when he was only five! It's funny how women can be, I really have a hard time comprehending all of it!! Because a lot of my friends have said it sounds like his mother and sister are jealous that's the reason they would try to cloud such a negative feeling on our pregnancy, mainly his sister!! I can't even imagine, I never even had a crazy emotion in my body about my brothers, I was happy they were moving on and becoming responsible!! The love and care you have for your wife is completely different from your sisters!! I just don't get it! Sometimes I worry that one day there will be a tear in the relationship between my husband and his family because he gets appauled by some of their actions as well!! So I try to stand back, but when it comes to my pregnancy and getting this baby into the world healthy!!! I finally see my side coming out that's laid dormant for so many years!! I'm tired of people walking all over me!!!

 

JLorenzo - March 31

Leah, good for you to speak your mind! The jealousy is completely on their end and it is their issues. Not yours. I realized I couldn't run and "save" my family anymore when they treated the women I loved like a dirty rag. Enough is enough.

 

Pilar - May 10

I am so sorry, but don't let them win , don't be sad, this is your baby not theirs, it is the beggining of you new life with your husband and baby and if they are included, it is apt to you, it is you the one who has to drive the rest are just pa__sangers and if they don't like it, there are more cars but not yours

 

Maleficent - May 10

i can sympathize. my MIL told me that all my kids ARE (not might be, someday) they *ARE* alcoholics. becasue it's a disease and it's hereditary. my two year old is an alcoholic. i guess we should take to a few meetings huh? cat fight or not, standing up for yourself is the only way to go. i would rather have my inlaws hate me because of who i am and what i stand for than make some huge effort to please them and have them hate me anyway.

 

kate - May 22

i think you did the right thing. i wish i had the courage when mt fiances sister keeps getting on my case. but i know what you mean about stress and cramping i was feeling the same way.

 

Pauline - August 12

Hi Leah. You go girl,don't dare let them say exactly what they want.I also have a s in law that doesnt think before she speaks.Don't worry about starting a cat fight, you continue to set out your boundaries,how dare they do that to you!

 

dayi - August 12

you sure did.Somethimes people say stuff like that and mother in laws are really always getting in the way.i remenber once we were in her house me my husband and some other family menber and she said that we sholden't have kids now because that will mess up our life and everybody else and i told her infront of everybody even my husband look i'm not trying to have kids now and i am also on birth control but if something were to hapend is only me and my husband dicision and those who dosen't like it got to live with it.so the next time this hapend you should me well if she had problem then why did you decided to put your kids at risk when you decided to have them you had more chances than me .and just b__w her off

 

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