Family In The Delivery Room

19 Replies
Kayla - July 1

Hi guys just wondering what your opinions are on this....My fiance thinks it's weird if my mom and my two sisters are in the room during delivery. He also thinks that If my mom is in there his mom will get upset and feel bad that she's not in there. I want my mom and sisters in there, because they have gone through this and they will be there to help and support me and they have been there for me my whole life, where as his parents haven't. He thinks if anyone is there it should his mom and mine. I don't want his mom in there, I think that would be weird. Anyone have any opinions on this??? If I tell my family they can't be in there they will feel bad because they really want to be.

 

littlemrsb - July 1

Sounds like a tough situation. It was really nice to be in the room with my sister-in-law while she was in labor, but it really was totally up to her and my brother who was there when the actually delivery started (she ended up having a c-section, so we couldn't be in there anyway) BUT... after being in there with both mother in laws, my brother and myself (she doesn't have any sisters, and we are close) I thought it was way too chaotic and wouldn't want it ta

 

littlemrsb... - July 1

Sounds like a tough situation. It was really nice to be in the room with my sister-in-law while she was in labor, but it really was totally up to her and my brother who was there when the actually delivery started (she ended up having a c-section, so we couldn't be in there anyway) BUT... after being in there with both mother in laws, my brother and myself (she doesn't have any sisters, and we are close) I thought it was way too chaotic and wouldn't want it that way myself. I think you have to sort out all of the pros and cons. Take into consideration the size of the room too. Our rooms at our hospital are too small when there are even 3 people in there. Good luck!

 

Shaina - July 1

Wow, I never even thought about that until now. I have 2 sisters as well, one who has gone through it, and a twin sister who hasn't, I am also extremely close to my mother. I could definitely relate, now that I may be pregnant, on trying to decide what to do, because you have definitely put questions in my mind. Personally, I would make sure that my husband and I came to an agreement. Because it is his baby too and it may not be fair to have your entire family in there and not let him have any of his. I am definitely in your same situation so I completely understand where you are coming from. When my sister had her baby, my mom was the only one who went in there with her. She was not with her childs father then so luckily she did not have to worry about that. Talk to your sisters and let them know whats going on. I know you really want them and your mother in there, but you may have to make room for your mother-in-law to prevent any problems between you and your man.

 

Kayla - July 1

Yeah, I know. I would feel bad if my mother in law felt bad. And my fiance wants it to be special between us. His mom has three boys, so she will never get to experience this unless the girl lets her but she is throwing my baby shower which even though my sisters wanted to I couldn't say no. I don't know I guess we will just talk about when it comes closer. It's just a hard decision.

 

KrisD - July 1

Wow - I could never even consider having my in-laws in the room with me while I give birth. I think of it as an extremely personal situation and couldn't even consider having them in there just b/c my husband thinks it's fair. When he's willing to have the baby, then he gets a say in the matter.

 

E - July 1

My opinion is this: this is a very personal moment btw you andyour fiance. I think in order for anyone to be in the room, it needs to be agreed upon by both of you. If he feels uncomfortable with your mom and sisters being present, that should not go ignored. This is the most special day of his life (as well) and I think he should have as much say as you regarding who is present. As far as your family feeling bad? Your commitment is to your fiance, and no longer goes to family. They will need to find a way to understand. This is your fiance's baby too:) Besides, you will have a nurse a__signed to you, and I guarantee she has seen more than your mom and sisters. Maybe they could help with the labor but when it comes time to push, they could leave the room. A lot of men are extremely nervous about the birth, and I think women need to understand their feelings and not just think of their own. Not saying you are doing that.

 

leslie - July 1

I am not having no one in there..but if I was in your situation I would not like his mom been in there! at least not my hubby's mom :) well anyway you should tell him that you don't feel comfortable that his mom is going to get a FULL VIEW of something so private!! and that your mom and sisters have more right!! at least that is my opinion and that is what I would tell hubby! Tell him how would he feel if he had to be screaming and yelling with his legs open in front of YOUR mom...I am sure he doesn't even want to think about it!

 

Kayla - July 1

E, I agree to some extent, I understand that it's a very special day for the both of us but I would feel more comfortable with my family in there with me. He thinks that my mom and his mom should be there if anyone is in there. But I don't feel comfortable with his mom in there, it already makes me sad to think that my family can't be with me on this special day I can't imagine how I will feel when we are at the hospital having the baby. I don't know what to do!

 

Tami - July 1

I am just having my husband in the delivery room with me, but I agree with you that I would feel a lot more comfortable having my sister and mom in there rather than my mother-in-law. You are the one who is going to be the least comfortable and in pain already and I think that although your fiancee should have some say, he should also understand your needs and discomforts. My way of thinking is that my mother-in-law doesn't need to see that part of me, an she can hold her precious granddaughter after she is born and cleaned up. :) Hope you get this all straightened out! Family messes can be a pain!

 

jean - July 1

There is a big difference between your mom being there and his mom. I mean, if you feel comfy with your mom being there and seeing you in that position, then that is your right. But, someone elses mom...that is a whole different story. Honestly, though, you BOTH have to agree and be comfy with the situation. It really is a special moment for you and your fiancee. Can I suggest a compromise. They are in there until the actual moment right as the baby is about to be born? Then they can come in right after the placenta is out. They would still be there to help and support you and be a part but that you and your fiancee could have that super special moment just for the two of you? I do understand why some people have family in there. To me, it is special to have that for just the two of you, with moms right there ready to come see within moments. Good luck, this is a tough call

 

kellie - July 1

I want my husband and my mom in the room. My husband is very sqeemish about medical things and I need a back-up in there with me if he can't handle what's going on. I am sure my mother-in-law will pout but I really don't care, I don't think it is reasonable for her to expect to be in there for such a personal experience. I am sorry, but I am very modest and I really just don't want a whole audience looking at my crotch!!!

 

Lissi - July 1

I can see your husband's point of view, but I think your wishes are more important. You're the one who's going to go through it, and you should only have people who you feel comfortable with. I wouldn't want my MIL at the birth either, as I'd be self-conscious with her there, and that's not very comfortable when you have to try and stay focused on getting the baby out. They say that embarrasment as well as stress can slow down labor. I don't want my mum there either, because she stresses me out too much, but if your mother has a calming effect on you then that's just what you need. I can't understand why your fiance can't see that.

 

Shaina - July 1

I am not trying to start trouble here, but honestly, this child is both you and your fiance's child. I know that you may feel uncomfortable with your mother in law there but he may feel just as uncomfortable without her in there. You are marrying this man, which makes his mother just as much a part of your family as your mother and sisters. You're having a child TOGETHER and I just don't think it would be fair to put his feelings aside. Put yourself in his shoes. If he were in fact the one in labor, wouldn't you want your mother in there to experience the birth of your baby as well?

 

Beth - July 1

I think it's up to you. It's your naked body being flashed around, and I wouldn't want my mother-in-law anywhere near me during labor, either. :) jk. Actually, maybe the court would give me temporary insanity if I were to kill her during labor. Ha! But anyways, your mother-in-law should respect your decision, and understand. She'll forget all about it after the baby is born anyway!

 

Kayla - July 1

Thanks for your opinion everyone!! I see all your points and I will just try to come to some kind of agreement with him. His mom being in the room is a def. NO but maybe we can compromise some other way. Families are hard and now I have two, and they are so completely different from each other and they are meeting for the first time tomorrow OH MY GOSH!! We'll see what happens. Thanks for you opinions!!!!

 

Julz - July 2

Kayla, when it comes time to deliver,it's truely your moment to shine. You do whatever you have to do to get the support you need. When I delivered my daughter, I had my sister in the room with me, and it wsa a good thing too, because my fiance got freaked out. Granted, he did the best he could (as pale as he was), but I was glad I had my sister there to support me during his not-so-great moments.

 

ADD A COMMENT:


You must log in to reply.

Are you New to the forum? Sign Up Here! Already a member? Please login below.

Forgot your password?
Need Help?
New to the forum?

Sign Up Here!


Already a member?
Please login below.





Forgot your password?
Need Help?