Family Vs Boyfriend

2 Replies
kitten21 - May 17

I'm having so much stress right now. My parents (esp my dad) hates my boyfriend so much. He actually wants him in jail because we used to fight a lot and he had cheated on me a while back and it all led to horrible things. But we have tried to put it behind and we were doing good. I'm 4 months pregnant and we ahve been together almost 5 years. But I think now he is going to consider leaving me because my dad is so hateful and is coming down soon to help me move into my new apartment. Which I planned for my boyfriend to live with me as well. And my dad is very much against it and just yells and cusses at me. I'm 24. I'm not his 9 year old girl anymore. I don't know if anyone else has these expirences and I am really torn up cause I really have a feeling my boyfriend is now going to leave me and be with someone whose parents aren't like mine. I'm just stressed out and confused and crying. I don't know how to convince him it will be fine and I don't know how to convince my dad to just let me learn and grow. I know it may be childish...but its really tearing me apart and just wanted to hear about other people's expirences

 

Been There - May 17

You are in a tough situation. I can understand your father's point of view, your boyfriend's point of view and your point of view. I really don't have any advice to help you. But, if you and your boyfriend are going to move into an aparement together, maybe he should be the one to help you move. It may not be the best step in the world to your father, but maybe if he starts proving he's changed and really cares about your, your father can forgive him. Also, I'm sure you can see why your father is so upset, he just doesn't want to see you hurt. I don't think he should cuss at you or yell either. Talking would be better. Actions speak louder than words and maybe your dad needs action to feel better about the situation. Sorry, I know I'm not much help, but I do feel sorry to see you going through this. It's something you do not need while pregnant.

 

Jamie - May 18

I have a similar story...kind've...I married my husband before he ever met my parents - they weren't at the wedding, because he and I eloped. My dad met him, and got to know him, and thinks he's a great guy. My mom, on the other hand...my mom has been absolutely horrible to him, telling him that he's abusive, a criminal, a thief, etc. My husband is none of those things. She even went so far as to attempt to restrict the length of time he and I were allowed to talk on the phone to each other. (We did not live together until we had been married for 7 months, for various reasons). Now, he and I are approaching our 2 year wedding anniversary, have a child together, and are discussing the possibility of a second child in the very near future. So, naturally, my mom is trying to backpedal and act like nothing ever happened, and my husband wants nothing to do with her. I personally think my mom needs to apologize to my husband for being so horrible to him, but I know that'll never happen, so I wish DH would just forgive and forget - but that'll never happen, either. Anyway - the point is...whether your dad likes your boyfriend or not, your boyfriend is now the father of your child - meaning he'll be a part of your life, and your father's life, forever. I think you need to set some ground rules with your father. You ARE an adult, tell him to treat you like one. If you're making a mistake, (and I'm not saying you are!), it's YOUR mistake to make. Tell him to watch Finding Nemo. :-) It's got to be your life, for you to live the way you want, and if you love your boyfriend, your dad needs to back off, and respect the choice you have made.

 

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