Far Away From My Pregnant Wife And Need Help

1 Replies
DaddyVoltron - January 11

My wife and I are both in the military and we are stationed very far away from each other. We finally got to spend two whole weeks together over the holidays, and she is now pregnant. We are both very excited for our first child together, but I need help. We talk very excessively on the phone every day, and we leave our webcams running at all times, even when we are sleeping. We make our very loving and happy marriage work through the wonders of technology! hahahaha. But now, her hormones are kicking in and she blows up at me, and tells me I'm not being supportive of her, that I'm not the same, and that I don't seem happy to see her on the webcam anymore. She tells me she needs me, she needs reassurance, she needs my love and support. I'm scrambling here, trying my hardest to give my beautiful wife exactly what she needs in excess!!! But, to me, it's like I just can't get it right for her. I know a lot of it is the hormone changes and such, but what do I do. A pregnancy is hard enough for a woman and a man together, but this being apart biz is CRAZY!! Can anyone give me any advice, help, or cool ideas on some things that may just make the love of my life smile for a little bit before she yells at me???? Please, someone throw me a lifeline here!! I just want her happy and to know that I really am doing all I can possibly do for her, so any ideas are welcome!!!

 

jan2009 - January 11

First off, you sound so thoughtful and kind...i am sorry that you are are not with your wife during such a wonderful/difficult time. I would have to say thought, that she sounds like she is having all of the normal hormonal fluctuations that pregnant women have to endure...the problem with saying that is that some interpret that as an excuse, or reason for the behavior and then they dismiss the topic...i.e. "oh she is just upset because of hormones" . One must try to understand as much as possible that, even though these hormones are responsible for amazingly intense moods, hormones are chemicals that affect us very strongly just as if we had ingested some sort of mood altering chemical. Our grief, anger, frustration, happiness, and so on is very real and not some figment of our imaginations that can be cla__sified under the term "hormone". If you can convey to your wife that you acknowledge this aspect, and rea__sure (as I am sure you are doing) that you love her and are there for every step of the way, I am sure that she will feel better...even if she does not act like it, your empathy will be remembered. My husband and I have been through five pregnancies together. I know that I am a emotional mess during pregnancy...if he were not able to be here with me, I might loose my mind!!! I am sure that your wife's feelings are greatly amplified by your absence. Pregnancy is such an intense time...its scary, happy, sad, amazing. I love it when ever my husband writes me notes--complete with pictures :) then I can read it over and over to help myself feel better, and also I can take it with me...to read again and again. Maybe that could help her too. I definitely recommend including a picture that you have drawn... I LOVE to see the pictures that my husband has drawn...they look so cute and it always makes me giggle. Plus she would be reminded of some of the ways you two will interact with your soon to be little one!! Well, maybe your drawings do not look like a child's drawings...he he he Good luck with everything and remember...this too will pa__s!! Sincerely, L

 

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