For Pro Life Expecting Ladies

23 Replies
Andri - October 18

Hello all! First off, I am not trying to start an abortion fight here, which is why I stated it's for pro-life ladies. I know my stance on the issue, vote for my representatives accordingly, etc., but I am not on this forum to argue. I want to specifically know between pro-life women who opts for testing for their unborn and who doesn't? My husband and I are currently TTC, and I am very confused about what to do as far as testing goes. I know that either way, I would never abort my baby. So, the question is: do I test so that I can be "prepared" for what may come? Or do I trust in God that He will handle it? (And am I not trusting God for considering the testing?) Your opinions are greatly appreciated.

 

kr - October 18

If it stresses you out more don't get the tests ( I did not).It sounds like you will stress more if you do not get the test. And for some problems that happen during pregnancy things can be done to aid in utero. There is nothing wrong with wanting to prepare. You could look at it as more time to pray about how you will rear your family.

 

Shel - October 18

Great question! From your email I gather you are a fellow Christian. I opted to take the test for the only purpose to prepare if my baby was not healthy. I would never abort and am a strong pro-life advocate as well. I think it's an individual chose. I strongly feel that you are not trusting God less for taking the test. Remember, God knows this baby even before it was conceived - just because you want the information to prepare doesn't mean you don't trust Him. I am advocating the test, but merely trying to give you my thoughts on it. I am sure you trust God will give you the perfect baby for your family - I truly believe God gives "special" babies to special people. Just take a look the next time you see a mentally retarded or Downs baby or child, I suspect the parents are extremely loving and special. God doesn't give us more than we can handle!

 

Shel - October 18

Sorry - typo. I am NOT advocating taking the test.

 

klmr - October 18

I will not be getting the test. I know too many woman who got false positives and spend the rest of their pregnancy worrying about it. Plus, If there are problems, I don't know that you could ever really be "prepared" for it.

 

Em - October 18

There are false positives, so it is true that it can cause unwarranted stress. However, there are rarely false negatives and getting a negative on all tests really put my mind at ease. I wanted to know in order to better be prepared for what may come...

 

karen - October 18

I agree with klmr. I am not getting the test, because I am not high-risk and I don't want to worry myself for the rest of the pregnancy if it should show that there is a possibility of something being wrong. Like the other ladies here, I wouldn't abort, and I don't know that I could really prepare for it, so I'll take what God gives me. I also have heard that having an amnio done (not sure about the other tests) poses a slight risk for miscarriage, though probably so slight that it shouldn't be a concern. Good question! The tests are a good option for people who would like their minds at ease.

 

Andri - October 18

I am only 20 (yes, young I know!) and with my good health, I am very low-risk. Enough so that I actually qualify for home birth coverage from my insurance! I have been debating on these tests since I was probably 14 and really began learning about them. I've always been pro-life, but I didn't quite know where to draw the line. The more I hear of people's opinions, the more I see that you have to do what is good in your circ_mstance. My mother was my age when I was born and 25 with my sister; she said she opted for no tests because she didn't want the worry, the risks (which were I believe more of a concern in the 80's) or the false positives. The more I read, the more I believe I should just opt out of it. If God does choose to give me a "special" baby as someone above indicated, then obviously He does believe I can handle it. So, for me, I think my trust in Him would be best expressed by elminating the tests. This forum has been a blessing today. I have learned a lot - thank you.

 

rl - October 18

I just want to give you an opinion from someone that took the tests and got a possitive....mine thank God was a false possitive but I was worried beyond belief and so stressed out the main thing to point out and think about is that when you get a possitive result you have to wait before you can find out more it is not like you find out that you may have a problem then your zipped right in for more tests to see if there is really something wrong no you have to wait several weeks and that is just the worst part and you can say that you would never abort due to what you find out but like in my case I tested 1/41 for trisomy 18 which is very horrible for the baby they rarely live very long at all and have numerouse health issues and then you have to ask yourself how can you do that to a little baby bring it in to this world to suffer but that is a personal choice only you can make...anyways back to the subject at hand someone pointed out in another post that there are false possitives but very rarely false negatives well that is just not true at all if you research the afp test or triple screen test you will find there are lots of false negatives that give you a false sense of thinking all is well...I am not just making this up I had nothing to do while I waited but research this fact as I said before I was lucky and found out I am pregnant with a healthy boy and I was so stressed for nothing if I had it to do all over again I would have NOT TAKEN the test but do the research and think

 

Dustie - October 18

Personally, I opted for the blood test to detect defects. I would never have aborted my child. I do trust in God, but I wanted to be prepared if there was a problem. If you know what is to come then you can educate yourself and be more prepared than if it is sprung on you. Now, if I were considering an amnio, I would have to think long and hard about that, since it carries the risk of miscarriage.

 

Let me add.. - October 18

Let me add that I also had a Level 3 ultrasound. With a level 3 they look for problems, they know what to look for, they can detect several things with a level 3, so if I had gotten a false positive, the sonar would have disproven that. Good Luck! Dustie

 

lindsay - October 19

hello everyone- i just wanted to say that i am pregnant w/my second child and will get testing done for this reason: (1st of all, i know this is a different circ_mstance than a terminally ill or mentally handicapped fetus, but i thought sharing my experience might help some of you.) when i was pregnant w/ my son , all of my blood work came back normal and all was expected to be normal. i had a routine ultrasound at around 16-18 weeks, i think, and all was projected normal as well. then, when i was about 30 weeks, my doctor thougth i was measuring really large and wanted me to get another ultrasound because she thought that perhaps my due date was wrong and i was due way earlier. my hubby and i thought nothing of this and were excited to see our baby again. all seemed fine until the ultrasound tech said," everyting looks fine, but i do have one concern." (cue stomach dropping into gut) she said she thought that either my unborn son didn't have a right hand or that he couldn't open it because it remained in what looked like a clenched fist for the entire ultrasound. i had never felt so devastated in my whole entire life. but through the weeks, i did tons of research, tried to mentally prepare myself for what myself as a mother and my son would likely be faced with, not to mention a lot of family and friend support and talking to hubby about how we were going to raise our son. let me just tell you all that i am so thankful that i had time to prepare before the birth! when my son arrived may 19, 2002, i looked at him with more love than i have ever felt in my life and it was like i didn't even see his congenital defect. he was big(9'4") and was indeed born with only his left hand. to me, getting that 2nd ultrasound was God saying, hey-your babe's different- and i don't give you more than you can handle but i'm not so sure you'll do so hot with this if you're shocked wirth it at birth... so i think you should know now. i hope that makes sense anyways... i mean, i think that if i would have found out when he was born that i would have been fine, but one can't always be sure how you'll react to a situation. i met a mother who's son had the same thing only she didn't know until he was born and struggled w/ feelings of rejection for awhile. i guess what i am trying to say is we are not always as strong as we like to think we are. but i do believe strentgh comes from God and from knowledge. Knowledge=Empowerment i know we would all love our baby's nomatter what and i know i would never have an abortion , but He does work in mysterious ways and looking to modern medicine for knowledge doesn't mean you don't trust God( to me) i think that means you're just using one of his many tools He has given man.sooo... my son leads the most normal life you could imagine and is so amazing, but i'm happy i knew about his hand... i believe it helped me be strong for him so that he could be instilled w/strength.

 

Andri - October 19

Lindsay, your story touched my heart. I am still going back and forth on this decision; it is so difficult. I am definitely not opposed to ultrasounds, and if one ever showed a possible issue like with your son, I think I would consider more tests. My issue is more so, do I worry myself by seeking the tests out or wait and see if anything is observed through out the pregnancy? I believe it's a very personal decision with no correct answer, and I really appreciate all of you ladies sharing your stories and thoughts with me. I trust God either way, for sure...but I am scared.

 

Jbear - October 19

I had the tests done during both of my pregnancies. I would not have aborted no matter what the results were, but if my baby had a problem, I would have wanted to start learning about it and preparing for it as soon as possible. Also, if my baby would have had special requirements right after birth, I would have made sure I gave birth in a hopsital that would be able to care for the baby.

 

karine - October 19

i didnt get the test, cause i didnt want to be stressed the hole pregnancy if somthing were to be wrong, iam on my third, and was offered again, and i refused

 

Jessica - October 19

I did not get the test myself, But if you feel like you should than I would. I personaly think that you should leave it in god's hands because just knowing is not realy going to prepare you for what will be. God won't give you more than you can handle. But just remember it is YOUR choice. Good Luck with everything.

 

Kaye - October 19

I'm only 11 weeks but I'm over 35 so this is an issue for us also. I really think not to because I would still have the baby, but I don't want to stress if I don't. I trust God for a healthy baby but on the other hand, I know theres a reason if we don't have one and that God knows we can handle more than I thought we could. This has given me more to think about and maybe just wait until the time and go with our gut feeling.

 

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