Frustrated How Do You Ladies Do It

7 Replies
Ellie - August 16

I am 30 years old and I have two daughters, ages 12 and 11. Up until a year ago If someone would have asked me if I was going to have my children my answer was no. They were both unexpected pregnancies so I never went through the whole planning and waiting game. Then last year I found out i was pregnant only to have a missed misscarriage at 13 weeks, which led to a D & C and a lot of heartache. My husband and I were so upset and decided having another would be great. So we waited about 8 months to start trying to be sure everything was good. But I have to tell you that this monthly waiting game is so stressful. I try to tell myself to not think about it and just let what happens happen, but I just cant seem to get there. My period has been all over the place since we started trying, so everytime I am late I think maybe...then the next one comes. I have read in here that some of you have been doing this for years. I have been doing it for a few months and am feeling defeated.

 

Heidi - August 16

Try not to think about it or try so hard and just let nature take it's course. They say stress can interfere with conception! I'm 30 and up until I got pg, I didn't think I even could. I mean I never tried but I was pretty careless all those years so I just a__sumed I couldn't. Got a little too careless one month and guess what? I'm 31 wks pg already. Yikes! So don't dwell on getting pregnant. Just have fun trying and try not to think about it every month. I'm sure you'll be pregnant in no time! I had weird periods too my whole life but the last few years they've been fairly steady.

 

kris A. - August 16

The first thing is to make sure you are hitting your fertile days, which are the three days up to ovulation. Ovulation usually takes place 14 days after the first day of your last period. You can go online and look up the natural family planning, and they tell you the signs your body puts out to give you hints - or you can go high-tech and get an ovulation detector kit... I used one, and got pg that month. We miscarried two months later, waited a month, then tried again using the same days (my cycle is regular). I am now 26 wks pg. The first time around ( I also have 15 yr old and 13 yr old twins) we tried for a year before conceiving the twins, and I think it's because we just weren't hitting the right days... best of luck to you!

 

Elise - August 16

I am sorry for your loss? Did you ever find out why you had a m/c? Was the fetus that had stopped growing before 12 weeks and then you m/c at 13 or did you find out you had an incompetent cervix or something. If it is the later maybe it is the same thing that is preventing your from getting pregnant. Did the docs offer you any explanations for a late miscarriage like that?

 

Karen - August 16

Like Heidi said let nature take its course. Dont stress and it will happen when you least expect it. Trust me I am living proof.

 

Ellie - August 16

They said that the baby had stopped growing around 11 weeks and I just never miscarried (thats what they call a missed miscarriage). It was a heartbreaking experience, I even remember saying to my husband well, i am done with my first trimester, the chances of miscarrying decrease greatly now, then i went to the doctor and they couldnt hear the heartbeat, so they sent me for an ultra sound, and thats when we found out. Other than that I really got no reason as to why I miscarried. I guess I really never thought about it happening to me, I guess I always thought it had to be something the mother did, and I did not realize how common it is.

 

f.m - August 16

Hi! Ellie,I know how you feel I miscarried last year in July I was 7 weeks my 1st pregnancy after the misscarry I wanted so bad to get preg agane I even went to go see a O/B and she sais i would have to wait alest a year I would pray for God to let me get preg but it did'nt work I guess along the way I would stress myself to and thats not good I fineally just let go of that and then would pray just to let it happen at its time and this year in may I found out I was preg you have to not want it so much relax girl it will happen just don't think about it to much i herd that you sould count from the first day you start your .period u count 15 days and then try on the 15th day but theres also other way well just don't stress just let it happen on it self like( Heidi )said let nature take it's course.....ok

 

shay - August 25

A misscarriage is a horrible thing for a women to go through. Right now I'm going through my fifth misscarriage. After my daughter was born I wasnt sure I wanted another baby for a long time and so when I found out I was pregnate again I was in shock. I was scared to get connected because of my history and when my tests came back fine I started to bleed, then lose my fluid. I knew it was end and is all I could do was cry. I cried because i let myself get attached, I cried because I wanted to have this baby and I cried because I didn't want to face what I knew was comming. After every misscarriage I wanted to have a baby that much more so when I had my daughter I loved her so much more then I thought I could have. So know i'm sitting here contemplating genetic testing to try and see why I can't seem to stay pregnate. Our problems aren't that different, but they are both emotionally and physically draining. For now, focus on your two kids, tell them how much you love them and learn from you misscarrage. Your two kids are a miracle from God. Let them know that and once you start putting your energy into enjoying your kids, another one will come before you know it.

 

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