Godparents

7 Replies
~~L - May 2

My husband wants this baby's godparents to be the same as his son's godparents (my stepson). I think that godparents should be "special" to each child & that they shouldn't have to "share" their godparents with another sibling. What do you guys think?

 

leslie - May 2

in my family there are kids that have the same godparents, but I think in your case it should be different because with your stepson it was before you got there( I a__sume) so this is YOUR son so you both should get to decide...do you know your stepson's godparents?

 

~~L - May 2

Yes, they are my husband's brother and sister. They are also the only Aunt & uncle on his side of the family. So obviously they share aunts & uncles & would now have to share godparents too. The problem is that my husband is not really close to his family & then in times like this tries to act like it's really important that his family gets "represented". Personally, I think his mother pushes the whole thing. I don't see why he can't ask a cousin or something. In my family, we have always had our "own" godparents and it's been a very special bond that we created with them. For instance, both of my godmothers sat in the front row at my wedding with my mom & dad because that's how I feel with them. They weren't godparents to anyone else while I was growing up so they always "spoiled" me & that's what I want for my kids too.

 

leslie - May 2

Have you tried explaining this to him? And ahmm..please lets not get in the MIL thing, I have nothing nice to say when they get on a coulple's life...and try to make desitions..

 

Lynn - May 2

Yes, I've tried, he thinks that I have something against his "family". Yeah, the MIL thing really sucks. She always waits until I'm out of the room to poke at him about things. I happened to walk in on the godparent discussion so that's how I knew she was into the middle of everything. Also, I'm episcopal so if it's a boy, then he gets 2 godfathers & 1 godmother. It it's a girl then 2 godmothers & 1 godfather. So there's PLENTY of room to include other members of his family. I just want them to be different then my stepson's godparents. That's all. I have one brother and in all likelyhood he won't be a godfather simply because he lives in Europe and it's too much for him to fly to the U.S. for a christening. But I have plenty of cousins that I am very close too -- I think that has something to do with it too. My family is VERY close. I grew up with 2nd & 3rd cousins like brothers & sisters. My grandfather had 7 brothers and they were all like grandfathers to me. My husband is the opposite. He has 3 aunts & 1 uncle & barely sees any of them (& doesn't make an effort to see any of them and they don't maek an effort to see him either). There are a couple of cousins that he is somewhat close with he definitely doesn't have the family network that I do.

 

almost there... - May 2

my family are the same as you when it comes to godparents. i think they should be unique to each child. this is our first baby so we have chosen one each. the godfather will be his best friend and the godmother will be my best friend :o)

 

DJ - May 3

I'm with you. The baby will have to share parents, why share godparents, too? Maybe a family friend? Why does he want them to be the godparents so badly? Is he taking it as your family wants to "Own" your baby or is he afraid his first child will be let down when the 2nd baby's godparents are great to him? Do the first baby's godparents do things with him? THe godparents don't have to be a couple- you could pick one from each side- Is it possible to have two sets of godparents?

 

Lynn - May 3

Yes, i guess we could have 2 sets of godparents.. I could pick 2 that I know will be my "ideal" godparents and he can have whoever. My stepson's godparents don't do too much with him. His godmother does when she gets the chance, but the godfather doesn't now that he has a child of his own. They didn't even send him birthday cards this year. Each year it seems to be less & less. My godmother not only remembers my birthday each year, but she also remembers my anniversary too!. That's a good idea. If I can't convince him to not choose the same godparents, then we'll just have 2 sets. Thanks for the help!

 

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