Having Trouble Deciding

12 Replies
Christina - March 29

Hello, i am 15 years old. Only 4 months until I am 16. I was wondering that if I really want a baby, if it would really make me happy, if I should. I have thought about it and I want to. I just want to see what other people would like to say about it. Iv'e been with my boyfriend for almost two years now. We have talked about it.

 

Sonya - March 29

Christina-having a baby is a very serious matter, not something to do to see what other people will say about it. I am 31 and only have one child and sometimes it is more than I can handle. It is very difficult-a full time job 24/7!! I highly recommend spending some time with teen moms who can give you a real picture of daily life of being a mom at 16. Sure it can be done, but to intentionally have a baby at 16 is giving up a lot. Give it some thougt and wait until you are older and settled.

 

tara - March 29

It's completely natural at your age to want a baby, especially if you are in love. A lot of girls at this age go through this. But having a baby is not as easy as many would think. You are basically becoming responsibe for another life and everything you do from here on will somehow affect that baby. No one can really say if it will make you happy or not, but in my opinion anything under 20 is way too young. There is a whole world to be discovered out there so why not use this time to get out there and learn more about life so you can teach your child what you have learned? You will just have more to offer - you always have love and care to offer of course, but knowledge is a whole other thing. In general women do a lot of growing up between 20-25 and you learn so much about your self during these years that's why I think you should wait. all the best!

 

Ni - March 30

Christina, like the lady said, it is normal to want a child at ur age, but my advice is that u continue ur college , get a degree, plan what u ant to do in life, enjoy ur youthetc... I had a child at 17almost18 and although i don't regret it , i have giving up a lot.It is now that im going to college ( im 26 ) and i can't go out just like that .Even to go to cinemas with my husband, we need to plan it weeks ahead.It is tiring and hardwork, it will not be about u anymore but about the baby ! I advice u to wait a few more yrs. I don't know how old is ur b/f and altough u said u were together for 2 yrs, it doesn't mean he's the one ur gonna spend ur life with .I am not trying to be rude or put u down , but i know what being 16 is and u want to give ur child a good stable family. I didn't have the chance to get some savings , buy the house etc...they lack on nothing but i know if i had waited a few yrs , they'd have a lot more ! Ur asked for advices , so i gave u my honest opinion . Good luck with ur decision.!

 

not yet - April 19

wait i didnt want to either but i waited now iam 20 wait untill then atleast you will know so much more

 

Me - April 19

Honey, you have plenty of time in the future to have kids.....live your teenage years as a teenager not a teenage mom.....you have to give up so much....trust me i had a baby at 17 and it was the hardest thing ive ever had to go through. I love my baby girl to death and she is the best thing that ever happen to me but it was so hard to finish school and take care of a newborn at the same time. Enjoy your teenage years and wait until your older to start thinking about having a baby.

 

Candy - April 19

Do not purposly get pregnant at 16. Who will take care of this child? I'm in my 30's and I'm just now having my first. I'm still afraid sometimes about the cost of raising a child properly (and we make pretty good money). A stupid can of formula is $20, diapers who knows. Day care is like $100-$200/week. Why don't you focus on school and have a baby when you are a few years older and married? My sister had a baby at 17 and of course the guy said he'd be there for her. I don't think he's been around in 8 years. Think about this very hard before you make a decision.

 

... - April 19

No!!! You're too young! Get an education first, then you'll be more of an a__set to your future child. Don't rush! You have so much time to have a child.

 

Steph - April 19

Honestly sweety, I am 29 now, can't even imagine having a baby at your age, they are alot of work, and you can't put them back. You should do all the things in life that you want to do first, travel the world, date, geta driver's license, go to dances. You are young, enjoy it. Once you have a baby, that baby will depend on you for every thing, to feed it change it, providse for it. Are you sure you don't just want someone to love you unconditionally?I really hope you reconsider. I look back on all the bad decisions I made , and I so wish I would have thought things through alittle better. Just keep that in mind. Good luck to you.

 

Jamie - April 20

WHY do you think a baby would make you happy? Think about your REAL reasons for having a baby now - do you just want someone that is completely dependant on you? If so, that's normal, but it's not a good reason to have a baby.

 

Nicola - April 20

Hi Christina, I had my son when I was 14! I did not plan my pregnancy however I did decide to continue with it. Although I would not change anything that I have done so far it has taken me a long time to get my self in a position where I am happy with all of my life rather than just being a mum. When I had my son there were so many other things that I didn't consider, like what else I wanted to do and achieve with my life. What my interests would be as an adult rather than a teenager. My son is 8 next month and as much as I have wanted another baby since having him I have made the right decision not to do. There are so many things I now want to experience and achieve in my life. I have made myself a list of these things to achieve though sometimes it is difficult to do so as I already have a child. I never considered where I wanted to live, how much money I needed to earn (realistically) to provide the best for my child, if I wanted a career or not. I am now finding myself in a much more secure position in my life as I am now married, I have been to university and I have a career, I live in a nice area and earn enough money to provide for my family, travel etc. Please dont read this message and think if I can do it so can you as it is not intended that way. What I am trying to tell you is that although I have achieved so much the stress of doing so while being so young and having a child has been imense. Plan your life, your career, your experiences and achieve these before contemplating pregnancy. You will find motherhood much more rewarding once you are in a truely stable position in your life! Good luck, I hope you make the right decision x x x

 

Lily - April 20

Christina...Have a baby is a very big responsibility. Do you think you are ready for that? You are almost 16, yes, and that's great. But I think perhaps it's better you should wait until after you graduate from highschool. Having a baby while you're a teenager can be very demanding, because you have so much more to think about. Will you finish high school? If you don't, how will you (with or without your boyfriend) support this baby. Especially seeing as how it's almost impossible in today's employment industry to find a job without a highschool diploma. There is one other aspect that concerns me though, your boyfriend. You say you've both talked about it. But is he really certain HE is ready for that type of committment? I've heard horror stories of boys that say YES at first, and then when it truly happens that the girl is pregnant, they turn and run with their tail between their legs! He may say he won't do that now, but when you finally come to him and say that you are pregnant, he may have second thoughts. Another aspect is your parents, how will they react? Especially if you've CHOSEN to get pregnant. What about your boyfriend's parents, how will they react? Having s_x however is a totally different matter. There is unfortunately no one to say you can or can't without tying you up and making sure it never happens. So should you choose to have s_x, please, for the sake of your future, use a condom, or stay on birth control pills until you are absolutely SURE you are ready for a baby. I'm 25, and pregnant with my first, and I'll admit I'm scared constantly by little things that happen to me. Because I worry for the safety of my baby. My husband and I have been married for 2 1/2 years. We both decided we wanted to be financially stable before attempting to conceive. Christina, please choose wisely with your decision to get pregnant...There is a lot more to having a baby than you realize. It's not just a baby, it's 18 years of support.

 

Monica - April 20

I had my first child when I was 15, younger than you. It is something that will absolutely change your life forever, and as long as you are willing to sacrifice everything that you love for this child, then you will be o.k. Nothing will be easy any more, and you are no longer the most important person, your child is. I am now 20 and having another child. My daughter is 4, and is a wonderful, well adapt, intelligent child. It can be done, but it is hard work that noone can describe to you. Good Luck.

 

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