Help New Daddy Needs Help

6 Replies
newdaddy - August 30

Hey guys just want your opinion. I’ve read that you guys resent the men who got you prego, is that true? I was away for 6(the first part of her prego) weeks and I came back and everything seemed to change. She said she did mot think she loved me but we still run around, She was very distant I tried to be there and help her out, be sympathetic and understanding about what she was going throw but all she keeps saying is she needs her space. I’m really excited about being a daddy but she will hardly let me have any say about getting stuff for the baby. It got to the point the other day we were fighting and I told her I didn’t want to be with her anymore. I don’t feel like that but I don’t know what else to do, I want so much to be apart of this prego but she won’t let me. I need advice!!!!! And away to tell her I didn’t mean what I said but that I’m having a hard time dealing with the way she is treating me. Oh also sometimes she talks like we have a future and other times she talks like we don’t.

 

to New dady - August 30

first of all, congratulations on becoming a daddy! that is almost as exciting as becoming a new mommy! I saw the post you were refering to about resentment. I just want you to know, that not all pregnant women resent their man! You are bound to go through hard times, pregnant or not. I'm not using hormones as an excuse, but your g/f is probably quite anxious about being a mommy, and stressed out too! It doesn't matter how much you rea__sure and console, and be an active participant in a relationship, sometimes its not enough! You need to sit her down, tell her to listen very carefully, and say how you REALLY feel. I know sometimes men dont do that! or maybe they try, and it comes out all wrong! Take iniciative and go out and buy something special for the baby, without her knowing, and surprise her with it! I'm not talking about a crib or car seat (moms like to have a say in that department!) I mean something like a baby book, and write something in it just for the baby. Or a mobile for the crib, or books for mom to read after baby is born. Like.... What To Expect In The First Year.......After you are done telling her how you feel, let her tell you how she honestly feels. Can you sit there and listen to her without interupting or getting mad? Most people cant, thats why it turns into an argument. Its a big feat, to sit and listen...!!!!! If she needs her space, give it to her, you can be a part of this babys life at the same time. Buying things like diapers, and wipes and lotions etc., can help both of you get ready for this baby, without her actually doing it. She needs her rest remember. Show her how much this baby means to you, and she'll realize how much she means to you too! Good luck new daddy! Hope this helps!

 

newdaddy - August 30

Thanks, those were good suggestions

 

wow - August 30

to the woman who answered your posts I give kudos! That is some awesome advice..

 

newdaddy - August 31

Well I just called her and she got really mad with me and said it was over, so much for my happy life with my kid

 

BBK ® © - August 31

I don't know how far in postpartum she is, but it's entirely possible she is suffering from postpartum depression, especially since she goes back and forth. If I were you I would seriously look in to that possibility; if that's the case she will need professional help; you would also need to find out how to deal with a PPD spouce and get her treatment. Good luck

 

To New Daddy - August 31

I have a wonderful boyfriend who was loving before I got pregnant and super loving now. There would be no reason to treat him badly. In fact, my heart burns with love when I look at him and see him smiling at my stomach. She must have some reason for her resentment. People just don't want to get rid of someone from their lives who is all good. My guess is that something happened in the past or you both were never really solid from the start. Also, you were not there for her in the first 6 weeks, when she first found out and needed all the support she could get. I don't know how you can make it up to her now. Maybe she just needs time and space (if she loves you).

 

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