How Do I Convince Him I M Desperate

8 Replies
rj_80 - January 15

Right. Came off the pill May 06. Have been visiting this site since god knows when - unkown to my hubs! Finally got the courage in May 06 to admit that I'm not really a big flash career woman as I make out, and want a baby BADLY! After much discussion got him to agree to May 07 - I came off pill to make me feel like I was doing something towards it! Began buying books on babies and pregnancy and drooling over the baby clothes pages in the catalogues all in secret. He found one of my books in Nov 06 and asked me about it. I let him in on a bit of the truth and he opened up about the subject. Liked to discuss baby names at length and what colour to paint the room! Went on holiday in Dec/Jan. Had a rainy day and ended up in pub. After a couple of drinks confessed that I am desperate for a baby. He was a bit taken a back. After much more discussion he agreed to wait until Feb 07. Brilliant. However, I am now TOTALLY DESPERATE!!!!! We got back off hol last week and found out next door neighbour is preggers and now I want it even more. The silly man even sat with me and went on t he internet to look at prices of cots and changing mats (he likes to be organised!!!) He just encouraged me more! Every time I turn the bloody tv on there are pregnant people everywhere, adverts for preg tests, preg people in my office!! Finally begged (yes - literally begged) husband on Sat night and told him why I am so desperate to go for it. He still wants to wait on more month!! I can't see what difference it will make. I have 5 days until I ovulate (according to all my previous ovulation tests) and I need to convince him! Any ideas! Okay I know it's not the end of the world to wait one more month but I'm going insane! I should be writing up a report for work but I'm additcted to this site. Ooops boss coming this way better go.... any advice would be great! rj80x

 

Melissa30 - January 15

I know what you mean about being addicted to this site. I stay n it as much as I can but when my boss walks by I pretent I have been working. I really enjoy reading about other peoples pregnancies. Does your husband know you are off BC, if so you could seduce him when you are O'ing and just have an "oops". How mad could he possibly get. What's 1 month.

 

sahmof3 - January 15

I'd say wait it out... as hard as that will be. It will make him happy for whatever his reasons are (maybe the organization that he likes to have that you mentioned, who knows...) and at least he is willing and (almost lol) ready. You could take this month to focus on really strengthening your marriage even more and discussing your parenting styles, values you want to teach your child, etc. Good luck!

 

Lala - January 15

Yes, and for folic acid to work (it's proven to prevent spina bifida), it has to be in your system BEFORE conceiving. Focus on getting your body ready as much as you can in only a month. Start taking your pre-natal vitamins and drinking your 2 liters of water every day, etc. Also, keep in mind that, depending on your age, it will take an average of 4-9 months of activly trying at ovulation times to conceive. It's unlikely to happen in one ovulation. Take care!

 

rj_80 - January 15

Well been on the vitamins for about 4mths now. It mentioned it in the first book so I thought it was something else that I could do so that I'd feel like it was heading somewhere. I've also given up alcohol, made him take vitamins (he likes this as he thinks it stops me dwelling on it all!), changed our diets to be super healthy, he joined the gym, I got fit and a great job with lots of maternity benefit - all over the last year I've been doing everything possible to improve my odds with him! Oh and he knows about the BC - I told him I'd sorted it for 11 years and it's now his turn! I'm 27 so I know that time isn't exactly running out but, man, I'm DESPERATE!!! However, I don't want to trick him. But boy I have been this close to sticking a pin in the condoms or lying about ovulation dates! I just couldn't do that to him! He is great but that d__n organised streak of his is the problem. He's so good with money that we've even got £10K save up! What's his problem!? He's worked out what we'd need and counted up the cost, the impact on the mortgage - everything! He's running out of excuses and it's becoming a bit of a joke. Just mentioned it again tonight and we're giggling about it (thought not coming on too strong would help not make me look too desperarte) and he's not taking me seriously! Humph.... I can't take all this waiting... what will I be like with a pregnancy test!

 

jen327 - January 15

Wow rj, did I write this. Same story. When I met my DH I had a 6 year and despartely wanted another child. DH agreed after we were married awhile we could try. Then one day he said maybe he did not want anotehr kid after all. I was devestated. Needless to say after I finally broke down and said I could not stand it, he said he was just scared and we could have another, but he wanted to wait 6 months. So I got him to agree to let me buy the ovulation test kit. So for 3 months I used the kit and after the first month he said ok ok, we can just start now. but I did not like the regular none ovulation sticks. So on our third month I bought the $200 electronic kit and used it for one month, BAM we got pregnant. I think he wanted to wait until Jan this year and we were pregnant by Nov. My advie is use the electronic one. Tell him you want to buy it now so you can see where you cycle is. It tells you the 3 days prior to ovulation when you have a high change and 2 days at ovulation. LIke I said, worked the first month and I was desparate! Good Luck!

 

SaraH - January 15

I can understand the desperation, but honestly you need him to be ready too, so I'd try to wait it out one more month. The only other thing I can suggest is you can talk to him about how it will in all probability take a few months to actually conceive, and ask him if he'd be okay w/ starting one month early. If he really doesn't want to I wouldn't push it, but if he kind of is hesitant but not sure, then you could maybe suggest a compromise such as "let's have s_x on the days I'm fertile, but let's use a spermacide of some type." Since spermacide is suppose to kill sperm you'd be using a b.c. but since it's not 100% and all of his "stuff" is still ending up in you there would still be a chance if it was suppose to happen (I got pregnant w/ a film spermacide the 1st month dh and I decided to 'see what happens if we have s_x on a fertile day w/ just a minimal form of contraceptive'). Anyways, good luck and I hope you guys get that baby soon.

 

Grandpa Viv - January 15

rj, you crack me up. Tell him that the book says it will take you 6 months of trying, so you had better start practicing now. I commend your not wanting to trick him, but he is sounding a tad a___l. Good luck!

 

rj_80 - January 16

Thanks people and thanks Grandpa Viv - you're right that he is a bit a___l about the whole thing! Did talk to him about it last night. We went to bed and he just brought out a pack of condoms which was a bit of a mood killer for me. Told him so and he said that he is just mentally prepared for Feb not Jan. And I realised that I shouldn't be pressuring him into this. I shouldn't be finding this so hard either and I shouldn't be trying to 'convince' him. He should want this as much as me or what's the point? I don't want a baby that's a 'mistake', the result of a lie on my part, or something that he's not ready for. Have decided (reluctantly) to back off. After Friday I should have ovulated and we can bin that bloody packet of condoms and see how we get on next month. It's only one more month and I know that it might not happen first time so I guess that I should stop being so bloody impatiant and just enjoy the process of getting there. Stressing about it probably won't help anything so I'm going to leave it alone and just look forward to when he says to me Let's go for it and he means it. Thanks again. Rj.

 

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