How To Convince Him To Have Another Baby

29 Replies
SoReady - April 6

Hi Ladies, I need some advice. Last night my husband and I got into an arguement about having another baby and it is making me really depressed. We have 1 child already but I want another one. My husband was an only child so he doesnt see the need to give our son a sibling. I had 3 siblings growing up so I feel that it is important for a child to have at least 1 sibling. My husband gave me the impression a couple of months ago that he was onboard for having another baby but last night that all went out the window. He said that he doesnt think that he wants another baby, I feel like he is being selfish because he doesnt care about what our son or I want. Our son is almost 3 and he loves babies. I believe that he would benefit from having a sibling but I dont know what else I can say or do to convince my husband to have another baby. Please help!

 

Grandpa Viv - April 6

With the economy tanking, many people are delaying the next child. Maybe hubby is more worried about his job than you know. Wait until the national mood is on the upswing, then bring it up again. Good luck!

 

Malica - April 6

Instead of trying to convince him of what you want, have you tried instead listening to what his needs are? Like Grandpa Viv says, there's a lot of people who are nervous about this economy for example. Seek first to understand, then to be understood.

 

SoReady - April 7

I know that the economy has nothing to do with him not wanting another baby. He is in the military and his job is very steady. Money isnt an issue because we have plenty of it. I have asked him why he isnt wanting another and he says that he is ready to stop changing diapers. (The time frame that I am looking at having the baby, he would be deploying shortly after for 9 months or more SO diapers aren't a good reason.) He says that another baby would dramaticly change our lives. (I know that having another child will change our lives but not nearly as much as having the first did.) He says that he was an only child and he turned out fine so our son will too. (I dont think that this has any relivence because if we would have had a little girl the first time then he would have been willing to have a second child. He told me that when I was pregnant. His main concern was that he had a boy to carry on his name and to go hunting with him.) I have sat down with him numerous times to talk about how we both feel about this and those are the reasons that he gives me. I have told him how I feel and he says that he understands but it doesnt change how he feels.

 

missarose22 - April 7

Sounds like your husband knows what he wants and he's not changing his mind. Are you currently on birth control? If your not then what's to stop you from getting pregnant again? I see nothing wrong with having one child but over course my hubby and me are pregnant with our first and ONLY child and we both agree on that. If he's not willing to change his mind there's nothing you can do but enjoy the little one you have now. Just be grateful that you have one because some woman can't have any.

 

SoReady - April 7

I'm currently not on birth control. But my husband can still control rather or not I get pregnant. No offense but I didnt start this thread for people to tell me to just be happy with what I have. I want to know if anyone has had this type of experience and convinced their husband to have another baby. What did they say that helped convince their husband. I love my son but I dont feel like my family is complete. Having another baby will fill that little piece of me that is missing. miss - I dont expect you to understand because you only want one child. I have always wanted a big family and my husband never said he was against having a big family before we got married. Recently I went to my OB to talk about getting pregnant again and he knew about this. He was all for it. It makes me believe that there has to be a little part of him that wouldnt mind another baby. One concern that he has is that he is afraid that we would have another boy. He would only want a little girl if we had another. Thats fine with me because I really want a little girl.

 

Babes1986 - April 7

I have sorta the same problem but I think that I have him now convinced to have another baby. I took alot of work though. First off I asked him why he didn't want another baby and he said that well I want to spoil our first. We can do that to both I said I asked him again same answer I kept asking him and thats when he said that there has been alot of babys that have died in my family and that he couldn't go though that. I told him that if we have one healthky baby we have very good chances of having another healthy baby and that medicine has came a long way since all those deaths. He still said no then I got mad at him and said well if you really don't want another baby go and get snipped he said no I might want another baby just not now.

 

SoReady - April 7

I just get so frustrated because everytime that we talk about it he comes up with a different reason. They are always little reasons like diapers, day care, and not wanting another boy. I have found ways to satisify every concern but still he says no. i dont think that I would be so frustrated with this if he hadnt lead me to believe that we were going to start trying soon. I was so excited but now I am so depressed.

 

Babes1986 - April 7

You said that he was in the Army maybe he is scared to leave you with two young childern there has got to be a deeper reason for him changing his mind.

 

SoReady - April 8

Yes he is in the military. I dont think that he is afraid to leave me with 2 young kids because when he leaves I will be living near our parents so I will have plenty of support. BUT I think that you have s good point. I think that is something that I need to bring up to him just in case he is thinking about that but not saying anything about it. Thanks

 

Mzwest83 - April 9

I SoReady! Iknow what you mean. My DH is now changed his mind. My DH drove me to the doctor, picked up my clomid RX after work, Got my prenatals, talked about baby names and started picking out the crib. Now he says he wants to wait one month before I start taking my clomid. When I asked him why he said because of money and because we need a bigger house. He does have a point.Kinda. We do live paycheck to paycheck with me as a stay at home mom. And we live in a small 2 bedroom house with 3 kids. On the other hand, I am finnishing up School and will be making 16 buck a hr, he will be done with the police acadamy in July, and my grandfather pa__sed away and left us enough money to buy a house ( no more house payments. we have picked out a nice 4 bedroom on 5 acres. We should get the money anytime from now to october. Yes we could wait until October but for a person that took 3 years to get married that is 6 months more of waiting and hopeing for a baby! So yes I know he has worries and rightfully so but it takes 40 weeks to carry a baby and for me who knows how long to get pregnant!

 

Mzwest83 - April 9

Sorry not married but prego

 

SoReady - April 9

I talked to my dh last night and his concern is basicly going through all of the baby stuff. I dont see how he is that concerned with that aspect because I did 90% of the work with our son.

 

clindholm - April 9

SoReady- I completely understand how you feel. Although my dh was on board for 2 kids and now have 2, I would be devastated if he was not. It sounds like he is making excuses and the only way to address it is to get to the real reason why. It sounds like you have tried by talking to him again and again. Does he realize that you won't be happy unless you at least try for another one? I think he needs to understand that and make your happiness a priority unless he has a REAL reason why not to have another baby. I really hope he sees the light.

 

SoReady - April 9

clindholm - He knows how I feel about having another baby. I pretty much had a melt down last night explaining how I feel and the emptiness that I will have if we dont at least try for another baby. He said that they is no way to compermise. It is either his happiness or mine. But this obviously affects me then it does him. I dont know why he doesnt see that. If we had several kids I could understand that he doesnt want anymore but we only have 1.

 

SallyRue - April 10

Hello, Just wanted to tell you dont give up hope..If you are meant to have another child you will, nothing can stop it from happenening. It doesnt matter if you're trying or not, if you're using birth control or not, if its meant to be its meant to be.. its as simple as that...i've heard of women who's been ttc for years and never got lucky, and others who got pregnant on the pill..Just leave it in God's hand and it will happen..Wish you all the best n i hope your dh has a change of heart. Good luck

 

SoReady - April 10

Sally - Thanks I appreciate it!

 

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