Hubby And Delivery

20 Replies
N - October 1

I would like My mom in the room with me when i Have the baby but my husband doesnt he wants it to be just us so how does it work on top of it i have already discussed before i relized hubbys view on it and if i were to tell her no she would be crushed i am the youngest the only girl and this is the first grandchild for both sides and my mom is so excited and its not like my husband doesnt like my mom he loves my mom he just wants it to be our thing since this is our first i dont know what to do!!! I really want my mom in there but i love my husband and i want to respect his feelings!!!

 

Kris - October 1

Why should you respect his feelings when he is not respecting yours???? You're the one delivering the baby and you should be able to choose who is in the room with you to help you through it.

 

TruckinFool - October 1

Just who's baby is it? You and your husbands, or you and your mothers? Personally, I wouldn't have anyone in the delivery room either. You, your husband, new baby, and needed medical staff, everyone else can either wait outside or wait at home until you and baby are at home and better situated to accept visitors.

 

Craig - October 1

I agree with your husband, I will be in the same position in a few months (hopefully) and wouldnt want my mother in law there if possible! It should be a special time for you and your husband. maybe she can be there next time! good luck.

 

CEM - October 1

in my opinion, i think the birth of a baby is something very intimate and should only be shared by the mother and father (partner, other half, etc...). that is just my opinion, though. talk it through with your husband and do what's right for the two of you.

 

H - October 1

Hey N. I understand your husbands thoughts. I too, am the youngest of 5. 3 girls 2 boys. My sisters and brothers can't have anymore children, so all of the rest of my mom's grand children were to come from me when DH and I got married 4 years ago. My daughter was born 2 1/2 years ago and I am extremely close to my mom. At the time my husband and I were based in SC and our families were in TX. Both of our moms came out for the birth. The hospital had a policy of only 2 people in the delivery room until after the baby's bath, but the dr said she could override it if things were going ok - allowing both moms in. I have a blood condition in which I bleed very badly. I was very scared of delivery and wanted my mom and my husband in the room - the 2 most supportive peole I know. My DH wanted both moms or NO moms. After we talked about my fears and concerns, he realized how much more traumatic the birth process is for the woman than the dad. Finally he came to the conclusion that whatever made me the most comfortable was what we did. My mom mainly stayed out of the way. She held my hand the most, as my husband was enthralled with paying attention to the baby. Once the baby arrived, the 2 of them ended hugging before he even hugged me!! (they wanted a girl - I was hoping for a boy - girl came out!!!!!!!) So look at your reasoning and talk to him about it, then talk to your mom after both of you guys decide. What you 2 want is the most important thing. But you do have to be relaxed - remember - you are the one doing all of the work and scared to death. But he does need to understand why you want what you want. Good luck.

 

Lora - October 1

I don't want anyone else there but my husband! I think its gross to have a bunch of family memebers in there looking at me sprawled out practically naked!!

 

Kris - October 1

lol I feel the same way Lora...I don't want everyone there with me half naked and my legs wide open! hahaha. My mom used to tell me she wanted to be in the delivery room...luckily I live 14 hours away now =)

 

Kris - October 1

**Anyone besides my hubby of course! =P

 

Kris - October 1

err...just nevermind the 2nd comment..I don't even know what I am talking about haha

 

ally - October 2

Have your mum there, i had my partner and one of my friends and believe me u dont care who sees u, ya just want that baby out, if my partner can put up with one of my friends there and actually call her to come over because thats what i wanted then i think u have the right to have ur mum there, i dont agree with the other posts disagreeing to it and if u would like ur mum in the room with u as u say then do it, ur the one who will be in all that pain and honestly labour can be a long process and ur hubby should be glad to have a break sometimes and have u telling someone else how much the contractions hurt, he may even want to get some fresh air and he cant do that on his own, believe me its no picnic. You can't have ur first child all over again and family is blood as far as im concerned and ur husband should respect ur feelings.

 

Coin Toss - October 3

I agree with truckinfool . It really is between you and your husband . I think your mom could show up or come but not in the delivery room , she has to respect that and your husband should probably be the one to show her the baby too.

 

M.A. - October 3

Once you're in the delivery room you and the baby will be the only thing on your husband's mind. If he's sensitive to your feelings and not really selfish, he's not going to even think about arguing with you or your mom about being there once you're there. My mom and husband was there for both of mine. My mom was down with the doctor, and my husband was up at the table with me to comfort me. Or it can be the opposite. Or your mom can watch from a corner and just be away from the doctor and your husband, like mine was at my first. I don't see how something like this can be such a problem for a husband. My husband had no questions asked at all when I told him I wanted him and my mom. My mom came in at the last 15 mins. on my second. So we had all night to have him and me time, and she got there just in time for the birth. Also, I was on the phone with my pastor when the baby started to push her way out! I had to get off the phone because the baby was litterally coming out! So she was about to witness the birth by phone. I had everyone I wanted and needed. My second birth was the best I could've hoped for. And I believe it was due to everyone involved praying a lot, and just being there for ME and the BABY.

 

Kelly K - October 3

I'm going to have my mom in the delivery room with me. The extra support at a time like this is definitely needed. There isn't anything you can't do with your mom in there that you could without her. My hubby isn't very nurturing.. which is why I want my mom. My husband has no problem with this what so ever.

 

Marlene - October 3

I think its your decision your the one pushing the baby out not him.when you give birth the nurses dont ask the man who can stay in the room they ask the woman. You can find a happy medium like your mom can be in there until the pushing then that way when the baby comes out it will just be you and your husband.Also mom can help with the back rubs and all the good stuff.

 

pbj - October 3

I think it's your choice who you do or do not want in there. I'm not saying that you shouldn't respect your husbands feelings, but is he the one who is going to be going through labor? I've invited my mother, MIL, and SIL in if they would like to be...I didn't ask my husband first. You are going to be the one in pain, so whoever you feel you need there to give you support, I say go for it. Besides, sometimes another woman can give you more support than a man.

 

My name is Mommy - October 3

Honestly not to sound ignorant, my hubby was practically useless in the delivery room so if he had tried to say who I could have I would be like Hey it is my choice , shut up or I wont even let you be there and they will. YOU are the one going through all this he never has never will have any clue what you are physically going through so if you want your mum tell him your decision is made and if he dont like it HE dont have to be there.

 

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