Husband Luke Warm About Having Kids

2 Replies
misseslouise - November 22

I need advice! I am a 32 year old married woman. My husband and I have been together for 5 years and I am ready to have children. My husband is reluctant, and says it isn't that he's afraid to have kids, he just selfishly enjoys the child-less lifestyle we have. He finally agreed to my going off the pill (this month) and we have been having lots of fun with the process. However, he keeps making comments that drive me nuts. He makes comments about hopefully it will take a long time to get pregnant, how it might be difficult for me to get a job with an infant (I am finishing up my phD right now), that hopefully he's shooting blanks and all that. Ok, I figure a lot of it is probably his way of coping with it, but I am curious if this is common with men who are trying to adapt to the idea of having children. He treats our dogs like children (hugs, kisses them, etc) which leads me to think once the child arrives he will think differently. Is this a normal part of the process or should I suggest a counseling appointment?!!

 

ashmcc - November 22

Wow! I think he is a bit afaid to become a father. Lots of men go through this. My dh does too. Until we loss our little one. NOw he's the one talking about ovulation and opk's. He will come to his sense in time. If he really loves you he will want to see you happy. Explain how much a baby will mean to you. Talk with him and help him understand. GL with every thing. baby vibes!

 

Grandpa Viv - November 23

Give him some of his own medicine! How about telling him at your age you expect it will take a year or two, or that coming of the pill there is no predicting when you will start ovulating again. Hopefully, you will both be able to laugh at it together and let nature take its course. I think it is normal for a male who has been leading a self-centered life to be apprehensive about the change. Remind him that this is his stab at immortality. Good luck!

 

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