Husbands Porn Habit

19 Replies
sad - May 13

I feel like im acting silly but why does my husbands p___n habit hurt me so bad?

 

Julie - May 13

Well I know if my husband were watching p___n and I didn't like it, it would hurt too. You need to discuss your feelings with you husband if it is hurting your relationship he needs to stop.

 

~~~ - May 13

I agree with Julie...but, not to get too personal, do you two experiment different positions or role play or anything...this does make s_x more interesting and may take his mind off of the p___n and onto you.

 

Julie - May 13

Also when you are pregnant your husband should be more respectful of you I don't think pregnancy is the time to experiment especially if your getting big, hormonal or have no s_x drive. Husband need to be supportive. I know with my first baby I got so big we could only do it in the spooning position for a while.

 

~~~ - May 13

Sorry, again Julie is right. How stupid of me...I was just thinking of when your in beginning of preg., not after your already in 2nd or third trimester...I was (forgive me for being blunt) very h__y during my first trimester and my husband loved it...I know though that every pregnancy is different...Sorry again

 

Jessie - May 13

My husband has a p___n thing too. I just enjoy it with him. However when he does it alone it bothers me. THe reason why it bothers us is our own insecurity. That does not make it ok, you need to talk to him about it and let him know how you feel. Hopefuly he will be open about it unlike my husband and discuss it with you.

 

toes - May 13

jessie, if we don't want to discuss it with you does that make us bad husbands? For one reason or another (sometime mine, sometime hers, sometime no one's), throughout most of my wife's pregnancy we haven't had s_x. We've talked abt it and I don't think that it's gonna be a problem after the baby, but I've found other outlets (read that as "online p___n") during these past 9 months, and been respectful enough of her not to let her know I was doing it. I'm sorry, ladies, but being totally open about it and telling her, "hey honey, I'm gonna go toss off in front of my computer, give me a call if you need something" would just be a bit harsh. I guess I'd liken husbands beating off during pregnancy to wives using a d____o if their husbands' had erectile dysfunctions. Like the Army says, Don't Ask, Don't Tell. :)

 

Jessie - May 13

What I mean by talking to him about his p___n habit is letting him know that it bothers me and tell him my feelings on why it bothers me. I have come to realize he can’t talk about s_x period, he is uncomfortable with it and that’s ok with me. I am a loving and understanding wife and he knows that. But I do feel that if it is hurting the wife, which then it hurts the relationship it needs to be talked about. So yes it makes you a bad husband if you are doing something that is upsetting and hurting your wife and you don’t want to discuss it. No I don’t agree with the frame of mind “don’t ask don’t tell”. If the wife is bothered by it then she needs to ask and he needs to tell. I think that having a relationship like that is very unhealthy. I never said anything about him announcing his intentions on his private time that would be absurd. What I said was some times I enjoy p___n with him, meaning we watch or look at p___n together. I know that my husband has escapades by him self in the office late at night, he never has to announce it to me; I already know he s doing it. He does not even know that I know. Want to know how I know???? I AM HIS WIFE, I KNOW HIM LIKE THE BACK OF MY HAND. You may think she does not know, as my husband did not suspect that I knew for years until I told him. Every time I knew what he was doing I got a deep hard feeling of worthless, unloved, unwanted, unattractive, hated, and cheated on. Our relationship went down hill from there. Every thing else with our life was wonderful, but those midnight escapades torn me apart for years, which in return hurt our marriage badly. It wasn’t even like he neglected s_x with me, he still desired and wanted me, and we still made love. But I was still torn apart on those nights. I could not figure out what was so wrong with me or us, why he wanted pictures instead his wife. If your wife does not know you have having mental s_x with other women and you don’t feel you need to tell her, then I am sorry you have a closed un communicative relationship. However, if she does know about your habit and comes to you about her feelings and you dismiss her well then you’re relationship is apparently even more screwed up. At those points its no wonder why you do things like that, you have a bad relationship to being with.

 

Jodie - May 13

My fiance enjoys p___n too and it never really bothered me until i realised the nights he was looking at p___n were the only nights i wasnt getting any. I could completely understand if i had no s_x drive because just coz i dont want it doesnt me he doesnt have urges, but im the complete opposite and have an over active s_x drive

 

toes - May 13

Jessie, I think it’s great that you’re able to enjoy p___n with your husband, but the fact that my wife is uncomfortable seeing me get aroused by women who for the most part are a high school kids wet dream are pretty darn understandable. Before she got pregnant she was a size 6 and now, well, she aint. I have no problem with it, but she’s definitely depressed regardless of what I say or do. I’d never do more than surf online, meaning no cybering, which crosses the line into cheating in my mind. As for don’t ask-don’t tell, I also play games online so it’s not only possible but true that some of the time I spend for hours online have nothing whatsoever to do with s_x, just mindless fun. This is my 2nd marriage and in the first I made a lot of mistakes that I’m not gonna do this time, and the computer is one of them. I would never dismiss her if she came to me with ANY concern, (something else I learned from marriage #1), the subject has in fact come up and when she mentioned it to me I didn’t lie about whether I was doing that particular activity, but I did ensure that she wasn’t hurt by it. No, I’m not using that as double speak for “not get caught”, since we’re both adults, but she’s the only woman I love and I’d do anything for her.

 

Jessie - May 13

soooooooooooo toes what online game is it you play by the way?????????????

 

jj - May 14

i agree with jodie... i am serxually open, creative, experimental and have a high s_x driva....and still wear size 3....yet i know my hubby looks at p___n when i am not around...........how can u not feel hurt??? rejected....especially when u r wanting some action

 

toes - May 14

only THE BEST online game ever!!! City of Heroes!! From what I've heard about games like Everquest, those things can majorly suck you into their world, to the point of building relationships, not going to work, etc. City of Heroes is a lot more confrontational in the game play, but also pretty mindless. Heck, I've got my 10 yr old daughter hooked on it already! :)

 

Jessie - May 14

Toes, My husband and I both play Everquest, and he is also now playing World Of War Craft as well. This is true, you can easily get sucked up into it, but if you have the self control as we have then its just for fun.

 

Mari - May 14

I probably shouldn't be posting advice for you here but please don't hate me for saying this... Let him enjoy the fantasies and tell him one day you want to fulfill some of those imaginations *get a little s_xual about it* Turn him on, it might even help your feelings of hurt- He probably still finds you s_xy but doesnt know how to approach it.

 

m - May 14

if it hurts you, then it is something that you need to tell him. It hurts you because his lust is on something other than you. First of all, have you always known about his allure of p___no stuff, have you ever condoned it? If so, he's just doing something you've accepted in the past. If this is something new, and you don't like the change, then really, tell him now how you feel. It's not a healthy situation to be in, for either one of you.

 

K - May 15

Why would looking at p___n make him a cheater? Surely if he was gonna cheat, he'd be out there getting himself a real woman instead of tossing off to a computer??? I've heard that men think about s_x every 6 seconds. Is that true? Sad, maybe he prefers p___n at the moment because he's worried about hurting you. I think you should get your feelings out in the open. Talk to him.

 

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