I Don T Know What To Do

30 Replies
Private - March 22

Hi - I'm sort of in a perdiciment here. The guy I was seeing is now back with his gf. Well, he was with me while he was with his gf. At first I didn't know that they were together, but I began to pick up hints because one night while I was at his place, she showed up and balled him out for having me there...Anyways, things just started to add up from there. I'm starting to think that he was only with me while him and here were fighting or when they broke up, it's making me feel that he wasn't really into our relationship at all, rather I was just his s_x release when he was angry with her. Anyways, I've fallen in love with him and want to be with him so bad. It hurts me like crazy to know that he's with her. I just found out that she's pregnant, and I think that's why he has left me in his dust, to be with her and the baby. It KILLS ME knowing that they're having a baby together, because he told me once that he wanted me to carry his child...So, I don't know what to do? I still want to be with him but I want her out of his life. I'm so angry that I wish they would just break up. I'm hurting so bad, I cry every night, i call him all the time but he rarely takes my calls. I've even tried calling her (yes I snooped and got her number from him, I know I shouldn't have but I couldn't help it, I was so angry) I wanted to tell her that he's been seeing me while he was with her, I wanted to tell her that he has told me that he loves me and wants me to carry his child...but like him, she hasn't answered my calls. It makes me so angry, I feel like screaming at her, because I feel like she has ruined whatever him and I had. I'm so hurt and so confused. I want him so bad.

 

Alma - March 22

Why would you want to be with a person who used you? Don't you think you're worth more than that? I'm sorry, but I think he's made it clear that he wants nothing more to do with you. It sounds like he's doing the right thing by supporting this girl and her pregnancy. As a woman you must understand that what he did to you is not her fault. Don't continue to try to confront her about the situation. Men will say and do anything to get a woman to do what they want, so don't believe everything he once told you. Move on with your life and let this be a good lesson learned. I wish you the best!

 

Sorry to sound mean... - March 22

Just out of curiousity; how old are you? how old is he? and his girlfriend?...Put yourself in her position...he said he wanted you to carry his child (some people will say anything to get what they want), but she actually is the mother of his child. She was his girlfiriend, and I'm sorry but it sounds like you were just a fling. I know you are hurting but back off. They have a family together, think of that child. What happens between them now is their business. She didn't ruin what you guys had, he made his choice. As hard as it is, respect that. I'm sorry to sound so harsh but I know what it's like being the one left pregnant by a boyfriend of over 4 years. I can imagine your hurt but I guarantee it's no where near how hurt she'd be feeling. Besides that, why want someone who obviously doesn't want you? You deserve better than that. As cliche as it sounds, give it time, you'll get over him and you'll find someone better.

 

Maxine - March 22

Run! That is the best advise, RUN. He used you and you are better than that. Move on. easier said tha done? Yes it is but it will feel a lot better in the future when you find someone who wants you an no one else, someone who is not on the rebound.

 

~S~ - March 22

See, I don't get this with some woman, Why on EARTH would you want to stick around???? You're never going to be #1 with him, you do know that right? The pregnant woman is never going to be out of his life, whether they continue to be a couple in the future or not, they have a child together, they are ALWAYS going to be in each others lives. And like the others have said, it's not her fault, she did nothing to ruin what the 2 of you "had" which really, doesn't sound like much at all. If he was really that into you, he would still be with you. To be honest, his decision was a good one. Maybe he's realized what he's got with this other woman and that's what he wants? And yes, men do say anything to get their way with a woman, and that's probably what he did with you. You see...the weird thing is, I was in a similar situation as this pregnant gf. I used to get calls from this other girl and it p__sed me off. I took her calls and I told her to stop calling me, because whatever she has to say, is going to go through one ear and out the other. I had nothing to do with her, I didn't know her, I've never met her, so therefore, why would I give her the time of day to inform me that my bf was cheating on me?? Seriously now, what am I going to do with that information? bring it to him and accuse him? He's probably going to deny it anyways, therefore I've gotten no where. I told her that I don't want to hear any of this from her, that if I'm going to hear anything, it's going to be from my bf. Just leave the 2 of them alone, they're starting a family now and you should find someone who loves you, wants you and wants to have a future with you...Let go and move on.

 

Private - March 22

I know I should just walk away, and I've tried, but it's hard. I know I deserve better but I can't help the way I feel for him and it's not going to disappear over night. What really bothers me is that I believed all his lies, I honestly thought it was me that he wanted and not her, because I would hint to him about her and ask little questions about their so called relationship and he always told me that there's nothing to talk about or that there's nothing to worry about. So he would basically make it out that she didn't mean anything to him and that he was no longer with her. A part of me feels that she is to blame since she came into his life after myself. I'm so confused and I know I should walk away, but it hurts. I don't know how old she is, I'm sure she's in her mid twenties and he's in his early 30's. I'm 24 but I don't know what age has to do with anything? and no, I've never physically met her or was introduced to her, I've just seem pictures of her so I know what she looks like. Needles to say, I'm a hell of a lot better looking than she is, I don't know what he's thinking? What bothers me is, what is that she has that I don't? I don't get it.

 

Private - March 22

I just called him and he answered. We talked a bit, but he said he had to go. Our conversations feel so cold, not like before. Why does he even bother answering my calls if he's like this? I should just stop calling him if he's going to act like this. I'm hurting so bad and he doesn't even understand, all I want is to hear his voice from time to time, and maybe even be his friend. Is that much to ask?

 

Private - March 22

I'm going to be curious to see what the baby will look like...*sigh* just saying that makes me feel sick and lonely. But I wonder if her baby would sort of resemble our baby, if we had one.

 

Julie - March 22

You have put your self in a bad situation and now you look desperate. I understand you have feelings for him but there is now a child involved. If he wanted to be with you he would. My advice is to move on. I know that you love him but trust me you can love again. Besides I would want a man who I knew only wanted to be with me. I know it is hard now but pick yourself up wipe yourself off and start again. Do you have any good friends? How about a night out with the girls! If you keep yourself busy it is easy to forget! Good luck. Remember there is an innocent child involved.

 

ikey - March 22

if you were his girlfriend in that situation im sure ypou would want hi to accept the responisbilities as the father of your baby and help you instead of leaving you to try with another woan to get pregnant. see it from anther persns eyes!

 

~S~ - March 22

My goodness, I feel really sorry for this pregnant gf of his. It seems that you're so desperate that you won't leave them be, until you find it in yourself to accept the fact that he doesn't want you and that you deserve someone who does want you. Don't stress out over it, it's not even worth the stress and while your at it, don't stress them out, especially the gf it's not good, I know this because I'm pregnant myself and stress is the last thing I need or want. Besides, how flattering is it to look so desperate. Go surround yourself with gf's or male friends, have a night out and realize that you've got a whole life of future relationship ahead of you.

 

tara - March 22

I can understand your feelings and it must be hard for you to move on. But calling him and getting the cold shoulder isn't helping you at all. Calling her isn't going to solve anything anyway so just leave things be. You need to get your self busy with other things and get out to meet other people. Believe me when I say that the day will come when you won't even think about him, and when you do you will say to your self What was I thinking. But first get out there and start enjoying your self, your friends and try to meet new poeple.

 

Heather - March 22

Observation... You are trying to confront her to tell her these things he's said/done to you in hopes that she will get mad and break it off with him and he will come back to you. TRUST ME... It won't work! You will only anger him. You have to be respectful. You may not feel this way now but you will thank god some day this happened and that you didn't end up with him. Save face girl and stand up for yourself. Have some dignity and realize that he USED you! You should be angry with him for THAT reason and not angry with the pg gf

 

~S~ - March 22

I agree with Heather, I've never understood why girls try to jepordize a relationship in hopes that guy will turn around and grab their hand and walk away into the sunset...It doesn't work like that. Why would he be happy with you? you just trying to ruin something he has and wants, he's not going to be happy with you, he's not going to thank you, he's probably not going to be with you, he'll probably only use you for s_x because he knows how desperate you are and it'll be easy for him to get. Oh and another thing that got me wondering is...why do you think the baby would resemble your baby??? Are you guys twins or something? Stop torturing yourself, it won't help.

 

Tierrah - March 23

Cut all ties and end the obsessing. Anything else you do just makes you look desperate and crazy!!!!

 

Jeri - March 23

Someday, when you are in a relationship with a decent guy who loves only you, you will be so glad that this two-timing jerk knocked her up instead of you. Love doesn't fix everything. You are only causing yourself more pain. Let him go. I know it isn't easy. I had a similar situation- he went back to an ex- we had picked out names for our children, talked about our life together- but it didn't matter. Now I am quite happily married to an honest and devoted man. It will be better someday. This man will only make you miserable. Let him go.

 

The truth - April 6

Sorry to sound so rude but get over it. He was just with you while they was going through some bad times and that says a lot about him. If he was your man and ya had some bad times he would probably run off to the next chick

 

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