I Don T Really Like The Father

5 Replies
BCinNC - March 21

My best friend, who I care so much about, is due in less than a week. I am estatic to be part of this miracle, but I don't care much for the father. I have kept this fact from her for the length of the pregnancy because I don't want to risk stressing her, but it really wares on my well being, as I don't think he's going to be a good father. I base this opinion on knowledge of his past and info I've gathered from an ex of his. The ex doesn't dislike my friend,she's told me things out of concern for her. I guess my question is, should I express my concerns or is it too late? And, is it worth losing my best friend, to save my own peace of mind? Help!!

 

tara - March 21

I absolutely hate my best friends husband and it took me a couple of years to be able to tell her. I thought she might get mad at me and I might loose her so I waited untill they had a couple of fights and gradually I tolled her that I don't like him. It took a while but now she knows how I feel and she respects my feelings. You should tell her how you feel but be gentel about it, after all he is the father of her child. But don't give details from his ex unless she specifically asks - I know I would not like that, but she is your best friend and you know her best.

 

Heather - March 21

I would honestly wait until after the baby comes. If it is still eating away and you to a point were you HAVE to say something... I would do it in the most gentle way possible & when you have time to explain. Bringing up the ex may be a bad idea depending on how sensitive your friend is about that kind of stuff. I HATED my close friend's bf but was respectful of her decision so I never said anything. Eventually she saw him for who he really was and kicked him to the curb! Then I told her how what I really thought of him. After all… It was her life and her decision. Ask yourself this your own question... "is it worth losing your best friend, to save your peace of mind?" I wouldn't give up my best friend for anyone. Good luck!!

 

Michelle - March 22

Honestly, I would not voice my personal opinion, but if you know something you heard from his ex, that your best friend would find important, I would tell her that part only (but wait until after the bb is born). If she asked your opinion, I would offer, but from past experience, your friend with find her own opinion, and make her own decisions, regardless of how you personally feel. Best of Luck.

 

JLorenzo - March 22

Geez, I sure hope I don't know you because that would mean you are talking about me! I wouldn't talk to her about it right now, or even down the road a ways. Better to let people figure things out for themselves. My Grandma told me once, "Josh, I have spent 70 years giving people my opinion whether they wanted it or not and all it has left me is lonely." Good advice.

 

n - March 22

since you have asked for an opinion or advice on this matter, you are receiving some. Has your friend asked for your opinion or concerns specifically regarding this issue? If not, then don't give or offer it, esp. before the baby is born. Maybe walk in her shoes for a minute, she is probably stressed out enough. And yes, everyone's true colors evolve eventually, so he is no different. your friend would probably appreciate you being supportive when the time comes (and it will!) if she calls on you b/c the father's behavior is upsetting to her. Let her come to you.

 

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