I Feel Sooo Guilty

5 Replies
Bella - December 3

I am 21 weeks pregnant today and found out Monday that I am expecting a BOY! I was happy with the news, but I was really hoping for a Girl. This is my first and I still have plenty of time to have a girl, but I was talking to my partner and we agreed on only two children, so I'm praying the next is a GIRL...but what if I have another boy! Anyway, I went shopping yesterday with my other pregnant friend who IS expecting and Girl (who funnily enough was desperate for a boy:) ) and we got a little depressed. She was looking for girls clothes and I was looking at boys clothes and we both agreed we felt awkward and sad that we're not having what we really wanted. Now I feel sooo guilty, because I know I'll love him more then anything when he arrives, and I am very lucky to be able to have children at all! I feel ever so bad! Has anyone else felt guilty for a similar reason? or am I just a horrible person who doesn't deserve such a gift? :(

 

Leah - December 3

Hi Bella, Not to sound harsh or anything, but you and your friend need a reality check, going around and feeling sorry for yourselves because you didn't get your way with the s_x of the baby!!! Just pray for a healthy baby, there are too many couples out there that have children with rare disorders, or autism, down syndrome and all they wanted was a healthy baby, not even concerned with what the s_x was! Plus be happy that you are even pregnant, I have a friend who is only 24 that has had endometriosis most of her adult years and she has a very slim chance of concieving and I get to console her through her worry some and complaints of pain everyday!!! Plus the idea of never being able to have children of her own!!! Please reconsider where you steer your sadness towards, there's a lot better things to be sad about than what the s_x is of a little miracle inside of you!!!

 

tiffani - December 3

Whenever something doesn't go as we had planned/imagined, we feel let down. That's a natural human reaction that you can't control. You are not a horrible person. I would guess that a majority of women have a preferable s_x in mind when they find out they're pregnant. Most will not admit it, but they do. I'm sure you'll be a wonderful mom, just wait until you experience the magic of childbirth and meet your baby for the first time. Let me tell you too, the bond between a mother and son is like no other. I can say that from personal experience as I have a boy and a girl. Accept the things you cannot change and cherish this pregnancy and that sweet little baby you're carrying. Why don't you sit down with your friend and each of you discuss all the reasons why you had a preference of s_x and maybe then you will find some reasons to be grateful you're having a boy. Best wishes to you!

 

LeahP - December 3

Hello! I like to post questions on this site, but my name is Leah as well, so I don't want anyone to confuse me with the other Leah, so I guess I better start putting LeahP! To Bella, I know it's hard after imagining having a certain child, but I'm sure after your partner and you talk about all the wonderful things a boy can bring, it will really start to grow on you having a little boy, look at it this way, nothing cuter than a little guy in little league!! Remember mothers are always very special to boys, he will look up to you and probably even look for his own mate to be somewhat like you. Boys always adore their mothers!! Good Luck

 

Jenn - December 4

Bella, don't feel so down on yourself! I already have a girl and a boy, and for # 3 (29 weeks along), I was really hoping for a girl. I didn't get my wish, and I felt a little depressed, then really guilty for a little while. But, I've come to realize that there will be perks to having another boy. For one, he is due right before my son's 2nd birthday, so I already have all the clothes I need in the right sizes and seasons! Plus, my husband already had 2 girls from a previous marriage, so this will keep my toddler son from being the only boy in a house full of girls! All I can do now is to pray that my husband will eventually give in and decide that we can have more children after this one is born. I still want another chance at a girl (and I'm gonna try not to feel guilty about it). At least if you find the "cutest baby girl clothes" you can get them for your friend, and she can do the same for you!

 

Bella - December 5

To Leah (top) I am very sorry to hear about your friend, I'm only 18 myself, and have been told I might have been unable to concieve! But I have, and I am glad to be pregnant, but afraid I might not get so lucky next time round. I've always had my dream of a little Girl, it was just a shock to the system! As for my friend, she only has girls in her family, and the only boy (her brother) is Gay!!! I am also scared that my baby may not be healthy! I will love my son very much, more then anything in this world, but I am human, and have the right and instinct to be disapointed, whether for reasons trivial or not! I am very sorry about your friend as I have said, but I am not your friend and therefore are suseptable to feeling the way I do! ut I have said I feel guilty and I'm doing everything I can to bond!

 

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