I M So Scared Need All The Help I Can Get Please

7 Replies
MsConfused - March 27

So I found two weeks ago that i'm pregnant. I'm 22 years old, and my boyfriend that I have been with for some time is 36 years old. At first, we decided that I would have an abortion because of where I am in life. I'm currently in university, however I only have one more year left- will be done in spring 2010. I've some time to think, my boyfriend says if we were in this situation 6 months from now it would be easier, but morally I just cannot go through with it. I was pregnant before when I was 17- was an ectopic pregnangy and therefore could not keep the baby, and had no choice but to terminate the pregnancy. This resulted in having future pregnancy complications, or a low chance of being able to properly conceive. I am pregnant with no complication. I've spoken to friends and family, and was told to listen to my heart, and I would simply know what would be best for me. Well, today i've decided that I will be keeping the baby, the father of the baby handled the news well. Nervous of course of being a father, like any man would be, furthermore, he fully supports me and wants to be there when I deliver the baby- and wants that day to be the best day of his life. Im so scared not knowing where I will be in life, will I be okay. He has a stable job, however as I mentioned I am still in school, did I make the wrong decision??? I want to give my child all the opportunities I got growing up. Because of my previous pregnancy complication, this may be my last chance to have a normal pregnancy. I need all the help and advice please

 

clindholm - March 28

Congratulations! It sounds to me like you know exactly where you are going in life. You are well on your way to a degree and are in what appears to be a good relationship. You may need to take some time off from school, maybe 6 months when the baby comes and they you can return and finish up to go onto your career. The job market is poor now so I don't think it be a problem for you if you enter it a bit later. Personally, I feel you made the right decision. Enjoy your pregnancy and your little one when he/she comes! Good luck, you will be fine.

 

Brenna - March 29

I commend you for not having an abortion,you won't regret it.I just gave birth to my second little girl 2 1/2 weeks ago,I also have a soon to be 2 year old.It has been hard,but I wouldn't change anything.I'm glad you have the support of the father,I don't know what I would have done the past couple of weeks without my husband.I am also 22,and have been married for four years.Believe me,you will be just fine,you will have to make some sacrifices but it is all worth it.I agree with everything Clindholm said.One piece of advice-Sleep!Sleep like you have never slept before,because before long it will be a distant memory.It does get better eventually though.

 

Malica - March 29

Try to keep in mind that newly pregnant women -- even in planned pregnancies -- often go through the "OMG what have I done this changes everything" phase. This is going to be one of the biggest changes in your life so it's very natural to be frightened and excited and nervous all a the same time (and being a little loopy from the extra hormones in your system doesn't help the situation either!). This is also going to be one of the most rewarding times in your life too though. In ways you can't begin to imagine just yet, and in ways I can't even use words to describe adequately.

 

MsConfused - March 29

Thank you for your help, the real issue I have is, how do I tell my family- of course they will be disappointed- and the fact that my boyfriend is 36. They havent met him or know about him yet. And for career, and financial standings, how am I going to make out with it. I can't raise a baby with no proper financial help. What to do... help please

 

Grandpa Viv - March 29

It's time for an adult-adult conversation with your family. Together you will arrive at the best solution. You may be surprised at how constructive this will be. Good luck!

 

DazedandConfused227 - April 8

having a child does not mean everything is over. it means some things are put on hold. your concern to me seems to be finishing school, which you can still do. just stay positive and everything will fall into place. as long as you kno you want to go back to school then you will go back to school. congratulations and good luck with everything

 

kimberly - April 9

I had my first at 20 and it was hard but I would'nt change it for anything now. Way back when my mom was growing up women who got pregnant just had to be moms and cook and clean and thats just how it was. Now days women go to college, work full time, still do the chores, and we do somehow manage to take care of the kids too. It can be done, you sound like a grounded person who knows what you want, I am sure you will be a great mom and you will still get to do all the things you have hoped to accomplish with a little hard work and effort. I also commend you for deciding to keep your baby...meeting your child is the greatest experience in this world and something you will treasure and hold deep forever!

 

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