I Want Ur Honest Opinion Please

6 Replies
Suzie - February 13

Question: Hey , well i want honest opinion from as many ppl as possible..LOL ..please. I am married and i have 2 kids ( 9 &5 end of this year ).Hubby and i always agreed on having 3 or 4 max.HE always said it's better to have them all while young , which i agreed then. Now i tell him that our kids are quite big, especially the girl, so if we want to have more , this yr sounds good.Now he's telling me , there's no rush and even if i'm 35-36 it's still young to give birth. I told him NO WAY i don't wanna give birth at that age ( No offence to w/m who are that age, just don't want my kids to have 20 yrs age difference). So he's thinking about it over & over ...Now, I have been totally honest with him( before having any more s_x ) and told him i stopped my pills because i always forget them anyway( which it's true ) . so we should be careful cos i only ovulate a few days/month. HE didn't say anything, i thought he was gonna tell me to go back on it , or say , no protection=no s_x, but he joked about it.So now he touches me knowing im not using any kind of protection ( he won't wear the raincoat lol )but insists he doesn't want a child now, does not make sense to me, he loves kids though but looks more scared than anything else . So my question is , If u told ur partner u stopped the pills and he knew he was having s_x with u anyway, would he feel bad or angry if u felt pregnant? Would he blame u ? I think im pregnant but just dont wanna tell him , cos he doesn't want a child now ( so he says ). Thank you for reading me and sorry it was way too long . thx ( no insults please .)

 

nahcol - February 13

Wow, I really dont know what to tell honestly. Its been a while so maybe he is just scared about having another new baby. Im preety sure that he would go through all measures to prevent pregnancy if he absolutly disagreed about having another one. Just be honest, good luck !

 

tiffani - February 13

I guess if you told him you're no longer on birth control and he continues to have s_x with you, he accepts the possibility that a pregnancy could be the result. My only concern is that he verbally says he doesn't want another one right now. His actions and words contradict themselves. I think you should sit him down and have a serious talk about your desires to have another baby this year, and his need to wait a few more years. Maybe over a nice Valentines dinner. It seems unfair that he changed his mind and expects you to go along with it, but it almost seems like you're betraying him (although I know he knows the facts) by having s_x without birth control. Nevertheless, if you think you're pregnant now, you should take a test and tell him if you are. This would atleast give him more time to accept it and prepare for the baby. If you aren't pregnant, when you do sit down and discuss this with him, you guys should find some way to meet in the middle, a compromise you can both live with. I hope this helps. :o)

 

Maleficent - February 13

if i was in your shoes i'd remind him about the birth controll before every intimate encounter. it's not fair to play russian roulet when having babies is concerned. he may have fears about growing a family that he hasn't discussed with you. if your already pregnant, it's not like he wasn't warned. but if your not pregnant, you need to talk to him before just leaving things up to chance. IMO, it's underhanded to get pregnant when you know your partner isn't ready.

 

Suzie - February 13

Thank u all for sharing ur thoughts. There is some truth in every post. I can see Tiffani why u say it's almost as if im betraying him, and i don't wanna do that.But i also know him he has a memory of an elephant ( never forgets ) and he is very very smart too and when he doesn't want something, he makes sure it does not happen. I don't want to pressure him aboout it that's why i don't wanna talk about it anymore. He reasons for not wanting another one now is because it would disrupt HIS plans .We don't have Michael Jackosn's fortune , but we're not poor either , like most working cla__s ppl i guess.I suppose i'll have to remind him again that im not on any BC and have a god talk with him.Thanks again for ur comments .

 

kat - February 13

hi suzie.i was in a simular situation a while back,but now we are ttc,bf does want a baby but was a bit scared about it all as it will be our first,the way i saw it,was everytime he wanted to do it i reminded him i wasnt on the pill and he carried on,so he couldnt have not wanted one that badly!

 

Suzie - February 13

Hey Kat, i think my hubby is a lot like ur bf, he loves kids and wouldn't mind having 4 or 5( he comes from a large family ), but he is scared. I'll do what ur doing this way i'll definately know . Thx for ur input.

 

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