Is It Normal To Be Scared Of Everything

20 Replies
leslie - March 10

I am 10 weeks pregnant and I am sooo scared of everything..my family doesn't know I am pregnant so I am scared of that, My mother in law doesn't approve, so I am scareed. I am also scared of not been a good mother, that really freaks me out, I am scared the baby is not going to be ok etc...someone please tell me this is normal..

 

Liz - March 10

Were you like this before you got pregnant? I think the fear of the unknown is sometimes scary but if it gets out of hand you should talk to someone professional. I was more afraid once my delivery date got close. Best of luck

 

Billie - March 10

I think it's ok to be scared about certain things. I am terrified of labor and the pain and the epidural. If I were you, I wouldn't care about the mother-in-law. Who gives a c___p if she doesn't approve. I'm sure that she will change her ways when she sees the beautiful baby. You also never know how your family feels until you tell them. Don't be so scared to the point that your stressing yourself out. Stress can hurt you and the baby! Take care....

 

D - March 10

I was scared of telling my parents too. So, my husband told them one night after I was asleep. They've taken it in stride, and are happy about it, not estatic, but happy. It really wasn't so bad after all. But--I am scared of things too. Right now, I'm scared of quitting my job and being home. We think that is what is best for our family... and its just scary! (Never mind that just 3 months ago I was dying for a reason to quit!) Most of all, I'm scared of being a parent. My mom and I don't have the best of relationships, and I don't want to be the same way to my kids as she was to me.

 

Blu - March 10

Leslie* the more you relax the better. Just remember this is about you and your husband and you future child...not anyone else. I hope everything turns out okay, and I know it will, cause it always dos! good luck sweetheart

 

Kelly - March 11

I think its normal to be scared, you just need to take control of it and not let it take over your life. Hopefully you have an understanding family and if your mother in laws anything like mine then she's not worth bothering about, its not her life after all. I think every woman has some reservations about if they can cope as a Mother but it a natural thing. Speak to your husband and let him know how you feel, You need to relax and enjoy your pregnancy and take everything in your stride... I've found that since I found this forum i've found it easier. its nice to share your thoughts and concerns with people who are going through the same things as you.. Take care of yourself and your baby and remember your the most important ones..Good Luck xx

 

tiffani - March 11

I'm curious, there are a few of you that mentioned you're married and pregnant, and you're parents don't approve or weren't thrilled. Why in the world wouldn't grandparents to be just be over the moon about a baby on the way? That b__ws my mind. Leslie~ It is very normal to feel the way you do. We ALL worry about the health of our baby to be when we're pregnant. I think it's fair to say, it's the #1 concern of expectant parents. After you have your baby, your maternal instincts will kick into overdrive and you'll be a better mom than you ever thought possible. You'll also feel a lot better about all this once you tell your family too. Why does it scare you to tell them? It's your life, you're married and you have control over the choices you make. Don't let an outsider dictate how you live your life. We all have our own life to live, and we should live it the best way we know how. Congratulations on your pregnancy! :o)

 

D - March 11

Tiffani - re parents being happy: my mom didn't really enjoy being a mom. I think that is part of her problem. She cornered my husband shortly after we were married and told him that we "don't have to have kids just because everyone else is". I think the other part of it is that she thinks if she's a grandma, she'll be old.

 

leslie - March 11

leslie to tiffany. Well I am in a very weird situation..I am going to marry my bf in a coulple of mths I haven't yet..the pregnancy is not the reason why I am getting married, thank God..also my family just found out last week that i was living with my bf..they are very old style so to then, living with him is the same as been married..what they don't know is that i moved about 3mths ago, about the same time I got pregnant.They would be soo mad if they think that I slept with him bef. moving in..I know this sounds weird!! but they are very very old style..Now my soon to be mother-in-law, really likes me. supposely) well she thinks that I am probably trying to get my bf attached with a baby just because he is a millionaire (sp) so she now says that I may make our lives miserables and that I am too young and is not going to work out..I have told my bf that if he wants, just to prove to him and to his mother that I am not itnerested in his money I mean of course it is very important and necessary but is not the most important thing) , so I told him we don't have to marry..and that I can also work.wich he says no to.he says that he doesn't care about what his mom thinks and that he loves me and that he wants to have this kid and many more with me , but i should think about it twice bf making the decition about having the baby..it was an accident but I don't believe in abortion..so then I end up stressed and mad and hating everyone..and then I feel bad because I know that when my family finds out they are going to be very mad and think that I married him becasue I slept with him..bef mov ing in. :( sorry this all sounds confusing and crazy and makes no sense but what can I do?

 

tiffani - March 11

D~ I'm sorry your mom feels that way. My mom was thrilled to have a grandchild, but did NOT want to be called Grandma. She's such a young 54 year old, so she's called Nana, which makes her feel better. My best friends son calls his grandmother "honey" which I think is so sweet. My mom to attempts to be influential in my decisions, but whenever it gets to be too much, I kindly remind her that she had her time to make her decisions, and now this is my time. You're going to be a wonderful mom, and you'll know first hand how NOT to treat your kids, based on your childhood experience with your mom. Congratulations on your pregnancy. :o)

 

Heidi - March 11

Tiffani, my mom is only 46 and she just about dropped over when I said she was going to be a grandma! I had to laugh cus when I got our dog, we'd call her granny and she hated that so it was Aunt Neicie. I told her this time it's definately GRANDMA!!!!!! Ha ha! I think she's still adjusting!

 

D - March 11

Leslie - actually it makes perfect sense to me. Both my family and my inlaws are the same way about living together prior to marriage. It is a tough situation.... Since it sounds like you've ruled out abortion, I'm afraid you'll end up taking whatever fallout comes. I feel for you - it won't be easy, but then, maybe you'll be lucky and it won't be as bad as you fear. Please make your decisions based on what is best for you and your baby, and not what they think! (But then, who am I to talk!)

 

Jennifer - March 11

It is okay to be scared. but try and think positive. your mother in law is not you and only you have the right to make decisions for yourself. try and relax and be happy.

 

tiffani - March 11

Leslie, Sounds like mom in law is just watching out for her son, which is understandable. The marriage was planned before the baby was conceived, which should make your intentions clear. I guess when it comes to marrying a man with money, many people will a__sume it's for the money and not love. Thats not your problem. As for your "old school" parents, bite the bullet and tell them, you'll feel better after you do. They are going to find out eventually, and i'm sure they're smart enough to do the math. The facts aren't going to change, but the truth will "set you free." The sooner you tell them, the sooner they will come to terms with this and the sooner they will accept it. Is your boyfriend telling you to consider an abortion? If you don't belive in it, then it's not an option. Heidi~ Congratulations on your pregnancy. Poor Grandma, she's getting so old so fast. Lol. :o)

 

leslie - March 11

Thank you ladies for all your nice comments! They are very helpfull and I am going to try to ignore everyone one..plus I know that after the baby is born they are just going to have to love it!! I mean what grandpa's don't love their grandchildren?

 

D - March 11

Let us know how it works out. I'll be thinking about you...

 

Tomika - April 18

Guess what, I just told my Dad- I was sooo scared too. It was the best thing I did!!!!

 

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