Just Want Some Advice On Haveing Another

46 Replies
angie m - May 16

I know some may think I am crazy but I really want another baby. I can't explain the feeling. I feel like crying sometimes I want one so bad. The problem is I already have 3 and am only 22. I have a 5 year old son, a 3 year old daughter, and a 16month baby boy. I am a stay at home mom and love my kids so much they are my life. Also my husband said he doesn't want any more but we could talk about it agien in a year. I know a year isn't long and maby he will change his mind by then but it is hard to wait. It will be 9months after I get pregnant before I have the baby and that is a hard wait too. Any coments and suggestions would be great. I would just like some one to talk too about it and give me some advice. Thank you.

 

snugglybugglys - May 16

My kids are exactly 1 year a part...and I love it. I was on BC but if I had to go back and know I would get prego so soon...I would. I am actually prego again with our 5th baby. It isn't very hard...there are moments, but it's great. You are just meant to be a mommy. I think if you feel so strong about it, then go for it. Maybe if you stress to your hubby how much you really want another child he will understand. Plus you could bring up to him, that having another one very soon would be a playmate for your youngest. :)

 

angie m - May 16

Thank you soooo much for responding. WOW your 5th. My husband just called on his lunch break and asked what I was doing, I told him I was on the forum and he asked me ,jokingly, if I was asking how to convince your husband to have another. Maby he will change his mind soon. One of our friends is 5months pregnent. Maby if he sees a little one it will make him want another. I have the merina in right now and last month my period was late and I thought I was pregnent and was disaponted to find out I wasn't after going to the ob. I think that is why I want one so bad know. I don't like being pregnent much but love giving birth I know it sounds wierd. I have had three at home births. I love it and love babys and love all the stages mine have gone through and were they are know. snugglybugglys do you feel you have enough time for all of yours? That is one of my husbands big concerns.

 

angie m - May 17

One more question. Does anyone have older kids that share rooms. When they are young I know they will do fine but when they get older and want personal space how does it work out. My mom keeps telling me that it will be very hard when they become teens and I should consider that. Anyone else with any other coments. It would be very helpful.

 

Ddvinson3 - May 17

Well I'm pregnant with my first. But I honestly want to have as many as we can financially support! I love children and always have. My husband and I own a 3 bedroom 2 bath but hopefully within a year we are going to start looking for a bigger house. I thought about getting an IUD after this one is born but ya know I'm not going to now because whatever is meant to happen will happen. If I am meant to get pregnant soon after this one is born then so be it. LOL but good luck and just sit down and talk to your husband about it and maybe he will understand.

 

angie m - May 17

Ddvinson3 thank you for your thoughts and congrats on your pregnancy hope everything is going good with it.My hubby and I just bought a 3bd 2ba home. We love it. It is on 1.09 acers and is at the back of the back of the road way out of town. And the town is small. We don't want to ever have to move agien so that our kids can grow up in the same place. My two boys share a room and there is no problems know. If I do have another and it is a girl it would be ok because she can share a room with my little girl . But if I was to have a boy it would be hard to figure out what to do then. We have a family room and a living room and my hubby is a carpenter and could probably convert one into another room some how. I want to figure everythig out before I decide to bug my hubby anymore. So I can ansewer any more questions and concerns he has. Any more comments please.

 

oz - May 18

hi angie m- i thought i would give you my opinion on sharing rooms as i had to share a room until i was 13 (im now 26) when i was growing up. To be totally honest i hated it as even from a really young age i was independant and wanted my own space. My sister was 3 years younger than me and although its not a huge age gap now when you are little it really is. At the age of 12/13 i begged/demanded my own room and had my parents turn our games room into a bedroom for my oldest brother so i could have my own room. They had to re arrange everything etc but said it was worth it so i would shut up about having to share. Unfortunately some people cant do what we did as they dont have the space so if the kids are going to share be prepared for arguments etc. Good luck xx

 

angie m - May 18

oz thank you for your input. We can convert our family room or our living room. We also have two out buildings one that we want to make into a kids play house. It is as big as the the two kids rooms so once my kids hit there teens we could make it a bedroom for one of them. It is only about 20 feet from our house so I could still see and hear anything going on out there. I know I am thinking way down the road but I want to so I don't have to figure it out later if I do have another. I think I might go and get my Merina taken out. I have cramps all the time from it and have really long weird periods. Then it will be up to my hubby to use protection. If he really doesn't want another he will use it and I can stop being so misrable with the merina. Any body else have any advice. I would really apreciate it. Thank you.

 

angie m - May 19

Well today I made an appt. to see the ob on mon. because I am feed up with the cramping from the merina. I am going to get it tooken out and get a box of condoms for my hubby to use if he can remember. Does anyone else have any advice. I would really like some more advice from someone who might have come from a large family or has one of there own. I would like to know the good and the bad of it. I would really be greatfull for any input.

 

oz - May 20

Hi angie m, even though i didnt like sharing a room i did love coming from a big family and wouldnt have changed it for the world. Im number 3 out of four kids and Xmas, birthdays etc were always fun with all of us running around. The only other thing that use to annoy me was the fact that because there were 6 of us all together (4 kids and 2 parents) when all of went out together in a 5 seater car one of us would always have to sit on someones lap. Even though i wasnt the youngest i was normally the one who had to sit on the lap which was a bit of a pain. Goodluck with whatever you and your DH decide xx

 

angie m - May 20

oz thanks for leting me know about your experience in a big family. I already have a minivan, and always will because I like to seperate my two older kids because they tend to fight on long trips. My older son told me right after I had my baby boy that we still have a spot next to him for another baby. He loves babys and carries a doll with him all over the place. He told his sister yesterday that he prayed for another baby. I found this wierd because I haven't told him anything about wanting another. Well thank you agien and I will see what happens after I get my merina out.

 

snugglybugglys - May 20

Hey angie...yeah I completely have time for my kids, and I know I will have time for one more too. It's the best really...I love having a big family. I have to do things a little different than if I had 1 or 2 children...I wake up extra early so I get everything done before they wake up. Then I just have to clean up after little things or whatever, and have time to play hokey pokey and things like that with them. I am only from a family of 3, but I had to share a room with my sister, and I loved it. I want my kids to share a room, because I want them to experience the good and the hard things. Does that make sense?

 

angie m - May 20

snugglybugglys, I understand what you are saying. I think it is good for kids to be able to share a room. It teaches them alot. When I was growing up my little brother (three years younger) and I had rooms of our own but asked our parents to make one of the rooms into a play room and one into our bed room. We loved sharing a room and continued to untile my parents told us we were too old. But I think if it is two kids of the same s_x it would be fine untile they move out. Thank you snagglybugglys for letting me know more about how you handel having a large family. I think I will start to get up early and get my cleaning done before the kids get up so I can spend more time playing with them. It is a great idea because I am kinda a neat and clean freek. Good luck with your pregnancy, hope it isn't to hard to keep up with the other kids and clean while you are pregnant.

 

olivia - May 20

hi snugglybugglys. I grew up number 6 of 7 kids. 10 of us shared a 5 bedroom house (my grandmother moved in when she was too elderly to live on her own). We had 2 girls in one room, 2 girls in another, and the three boys together. My grandmother had a room downstairs and my parents had a master bedroom. I was at the end of the line so when I was a teenager the older kids were off to college and a room freed up for me. The 2 older boys went off to boarding highschool, so a room freed up for my youngest brother too. So I can't vouch much for teenagers sharing rooms. I never remember too many fights in the days we all did share rooms. We mostly just slept and studied in them, we were outside a lot and had a finished bas____nt to play in. I loved growing up in a large family. If I could have one I would but I didn't start with my first until I was 30 so I really just don't have the energy I did even at 22. My mom was 20 when she had her first and finished with my youngest brother at 32. I say if you have the resources, love, and energy, always welcome a big family. I also think you need to seriously consider your husbands feelings too. He needs to be there 100% because the only way a big family works is on a solid foundation. Best wishes.

 

Laurabb4 - May 21

Hi Angie, I am expecting my 4th. I have three boys and this one is a girl! My oldest will be ten this fall. Then I have 4,2 and I am due in July. I wanted 3 year gaps but DH wanted them close together. The two younger ones play nice. We are not having any more after our baby girl. I am a stay at home mom and DH works alot. When I convinced him to have more I said I was the one that did all the work. I am 2 of 5 from my family. i grew up in a 3 bedroom home. We all shared rooms. I did not think it was that bad. All my boys are sharing a room and my baby girl will have her own room. The boys do not mind. We have our family room as a play area. It works. I am sorry to hear you are having problems with mirena.

 

olivia - May 21

oops, my post was for angie, i just got confused and wrote snugglybugglys. ;)

 

angie m - May 21

olivia, thank you for sharing your experiences in your large family. I wouldn't have another without my hubby wanting one for sure. We are very close and I wouldn't want to upset him or make him feel like his wants don't matter. I also want to have a baby that we try to have. My babys were all blessings, but none of them were planed. My hubby and I aren't very good at remebering to use protection. So hopefully sence he doesn't want another he will remember after I get the merina out. Laurabb4 thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiances and I am happy that you are having a baby girl after 3 boys. I loved dressing my little girl up in pretty dresses and still do. I am also a stay at home mom and my hubby works alot too. He leaves at 5am and gets home between 6 and 7pm. So I too do all the work and don't mind. I think that if we do have another it would be are last too. My hubby said he wants to get the operation but I want he to wait tell we have one more wether know or later on. Thank you for your concern about the merina. I go in tomorrow to get it removed.

 

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