Man Needs Adivce

16 Replies
David - August 14

I'm 25 years old my girlfriend just told me she is pregnant. I do not want a child yet due to I do not feel financially secure enough although I do have a good job and can afford to but a house for us to live in. I still do not want this baby I wanted to be married first and do things differently. I have asked her several times if she would have an abortion and she disagress with it. Its bad timing she will she just be gettting out of college when the child is born. I don't know if I'm being greedy because I'm prepared to loose this baby to provide the perfect life for the next baby or if I'm being smart because I know that I can't give this baby everything she deserves. My girlfriend just said good-bye to me until I can be happy with her as it makes her sad because I see this as my failure. Any advice what to do

 

amberly - August 10

sounds like you are more interested in what you want and not what your girlfreind wants. I would break up with you to if you saw your own child as your failure and not what you accomplished. I applauded your girlfriend for not having an abortion and leaving you. You need to grow up and realize you don't get everything you want so stop being a baby about it.

 

Melissa - August 10

You should of thought about not having s_x with your girlfriend if you did not want a child. I don't know what kind of birth control you two were using, but there is always a chance as you well know. Abortion is not an easy way out! It is "termination" of a life, it stops a beating heart. Could you really live with that choice? I think it is time to step up to the plate and be a Man. You were man enough to be s_xually active with your girlfriend, now it's time to support her and time to support what you created. Your child. I guarantee, once you see your child you will fall in love and there will be no turning back. Children are a huge responsibility, they require large amounts of love, attention and money. But, they change your life and not always in a bad way. Life throws curve b___s many times over. You have to go with the flow and make responsible choices. I would tell you that if you really love you girlfriend, marry her. She is carrying your child. How can you let her walk away? She needs you now more than ever. Talk to her, make the right decision. Be a real man and stop waiting for your life to be perfect. You'll die waiting for that!

 

manda - August 10

hi david, I think that I agree with your girlfriend. I don't believe in abortions. It is murder!!!!!

 

Lawnda - August 10

Get your girlfreind back take care of her and your baby. You choose to have s_x, there are consequences to all actions. Be a man live with what god gave to you and be thankful to get it. Marry your girlfriend and take care of her at the time she needs you most or someone else will be willing to

 

anon - August 10

My guy did the same thing at first. He did not want this baby. He said he didnt make enough money for me to have a child yet. He wanted me to get an abortion....However, I said no. Well, he wasnt happy, But agreed to make it work for me and the baby, because it was his responsibility too. Well, I am only 4 months along now but he is now praying for a little girl. He came around quicker than I thought he would, But he is tickled to death. I think it is natural for guys to feel the same way you do. Just for now tell her how you are feeling. It wont make her happy because she wants everything to be ok. But try to give her a little support. If you love her and want her to stay with you....tell her you will make it work. Even if it's not what you want right now... In a few months you might change your mind =)

 

caz - August 10

At the end of the day mate, it doesn't matter one tiny bit about your opinion. If your girlfriend wants this baby, you can't stop her. Stop being selfish, you are an adult and you know what s_x can lead too. Deal with the consequences.

 

nameless - August 10

I do think you are entiled to your own opinon as te baby is half yourse but i agree with the rest of the responses to

 

Sandy - August 10

My boyffreind felt the same way now nothing can replace the moment where he lays on the couch and cuddles with her-no longer a failure but a gift. If it is family reason with you not being married your girlfriend is the one your likly have to spend the rest of your life with and your baby is the one you will spend the rest of your life knowing. So go with deep down inside your heart i'm sure you will see your answer

 

Ray- MAN 2 MAN - August 12

Hey David...let me tell you a story..maybe it will help you! My wife and i have been Trying for almost 2 years to have a baby. In march We Found out she was Pregnant...In May we found out she had Lost the baby. We were crushed. The reason of the story is...we want and didnt have...you have and dont want. Have the Baby...people like me would love to adopt. Just give life a chance. What if your parents had an abortion because they weren't ready for you! Just do what you know is right!

 

J - August 12

your rude if your gf wants the baby let her just leave her if you dont you dont deserve her anyways

 

Kf - August 12

many pregnancies are unplanned. I'm friggin 18, and I can manage to support a baby, so grow up and take some responsibility.You're only being selfish by killing your child because the timing was off.

 

gwen - August 13

my boyfriend and I weren't married when we got pregnant... I lost my job and he was in school, we were renting an apt and had no money. You say you have a good job... at least theres something to start on. Baby's don't need much in life, just to be loved and fed. All the expensive toys and cribs and nursery accesories are just there to give parents comfort...do you honestly think that your baby would know if it was wearing a baby gap sweater verses a hand me down?? no. it's just know that it's warm, and with mommy and daddy. Give up your ego and have this baby. If we can afford to keep our baby.. then so can you.

 

jules - August 13

leave her alone until you grow up. if you wanted to wait till after you were married you should have waited to ahve s_x too. it is the leading cause of pregnancy. let her find someone who will be good enough for her adn her baby. ps, if you are waiting until you are financially secure, you will never have a family. grow up

 

kellie - August 13

You know I have been in your girlfriends situation with my soon to be husband at the time...You guys think that it is so easy for us women not to become attached to something that you dont even have in your hands yet what is it with men these days. My man wanted me to do the same thing that you want your grilfriend to do I stood up to him just like she has done you and I dont blame her. Our daughter is 15 Months old Now we have been Married for over a year and we are making it. We are expecting our second baby in November and she was not planned either But sometimes the best things in life are not in our blueprints but in gods. You know you where old enough to lay down and do the deed then i think that you should be man enough to stand by her side and Be a MAN. My HUSBAND HAS and it has paid off we are together have a beautiful family and are adding another addition. Think of it as a accomplishment you know you would be pretty devistated as a man if you never saw your child or your girlfriend again and you really love her If you love her as much as i am sure you might deep down inside you will put your feelings aside and stand by her. once you get over NOT GETTING THINGS YOUR WAY you will be alright my hubby was and it was for the better..I think that it is time for you to once again grow up Like i said earlier you where old and mature enough to lay down and have s_x so guess what you signed sealed and delivered that baby already. GET OVER IT...Either you are going to be a part of that childs life that you created or you are going to be paying child support for the rest of your life with either court ordered visitation or none at all. have it your way either way you are going to have to make it work into your financial plan

 

kate - August 14

You had s_x with her, you be a man and stand by her.if she does not want an abortion, shut your mouth about it. Good thing she left you. you sound more worried about your needs. Think about the baby.

 

Angela - August 14

Hi David, I am 25 years old and when I told my boyfriend that I was pregnant he initally felt the same way. How am I going to afford this? timing was wrong, we did'nt have a place to live together, I mean it was stressfull because abortion was not an option for me. You should be proud of your girlfriend because it's hard to be pregnant and not have the support of the father. But sit down and take a good look at things, we did, we are not rich I just got out of school and he works a good job, and we just had to rearrange some things. We now live in a nice apartment and neither of us are missing out on anything. Just listen to eachother and really take a good look at your situation. An abortion is a tough thing to go through, trust me I know. Your girlfriend needs a lot of support right now and I hope she has you there to go through this with her. My boyfriend is here with me and it's the greatest feeling!!!!!!!!!!

 

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