Miserable As Hell

12 Replies
mse - October 31

I hear all these ppl say how much they LOVED being pregnant. Well... I am pregnant, my husband has been doing the stupid dance around the house, and I am miserable as h__l. I hate it. The prospect of even having a baby makes me miserable, and hateful. I don't like babies at all. I just get soooo damned sick of hearing all these women say "oh, you will love it when it gets here" or "well you should be happy". It just sickens me. I can't believe the nerve people have to try and force you to feel something you don't. Does anyone else feel like this?

 

Mel - October 31

i understand that youre miserable, but i think that you should stop being so negative and realize that when the baby comes, you WILL love it. Why wouldnt you? It is your own flesh and blood and babies are so innocent. Even if you tend to not like babies normally, I think you will feel differently when it's your OWN. How old are you by the way? im 19...and 34 wks pregnant. :)

 

... - October 31

My question is why did you allow yourself to get pregnant in the first place if you don't want a baby? Having a baby is the outcome of being pregnant... I can FULLY understand being miserable about being pregnant, but can't understand why you are having one when you openly admit that you don't like babies.

 

mse - October 31

I am 28, and was on Seasonale (junk, didn't work for me), after being on Depo for a little over 10 years. I was also in the process with my doctor of getting tubal done before something like this could happen. Right now, I am at 17 weeks. It's not like I said "ohhh, I have an idea, let's get pregnant" and then jumped right in to it.

 

Mel - October 31

so what, do you not want the baby? you dont think youll love it?

 

kris A. - October 31

I think it's good that you are honest about your feelings so you can face them before the baby gets here, because as you probably have figured, the rest of the pregnancy is going to get more and more difficult... I agree that people will tell you how to feel, and it doesn't mean squat when that is NOT how you feel. You are kind of in a bad position because your husband clearly wants the baby and you dont. I would say to try to find a way to accept this baby - maybe by just allowing yourself to grieve for the life you lost by gaining a child, and THEN trying to find those comfort spots - a ultrasound, maybe, or buying the baby clothes - that make you feel better about the baby. Regardless, at least keep your heart open to the possibility that you may grow to love this child ... and I wish you and your baby the best of luck.

 

jena - October 31

i agree completely with pregnancy not being "fun" like so many say it is. i think that your feelings might change when you see your baby and are done with being pregnant. but you shouldn't be forced to "be happy" right now if you aren't - it's not that easy, i know. have you thought about adoption? just an idea. good luck to you and hang in there. if you need to have a bad mood day, you are allowed some!

 

mse - October 31

Right now, as awful as I feel about this, and as much as my husband wants one... this is his baby. End of story. I can already see where it will be going though. We probably will not be together long after the arrival.

 

honest - October 31

If your feelings don't change by the time your baby is born I think you should bow out and let your husband raise the baby on his own. I think with your att_tude you could do some serious damage.

 

Jk - November 1

Do you think you might be feeling this way because you are sick? Im pretty sick and I cant seem to get excited about the baby yet. But I know I will when the morning sickness goes away. I think its good you recognize that you are having these feelings. Hopefully over the next few months your att_tude will change, seeing your body change and feeling the baby. Dont think you are a horrible person...everyone has the right to their own feelings. Try to think positive and have an open mind. Good luck to you!!

 

aa - November 1

I am 13 weeks and at times do not enjoy feeling pregnant- being sick and all. But there is a difference between not enjoying being pregnant and not wanting the baby. You already seem like you resent this child, and that is not healthy. I am not trying to intrude, but because you wrote so openly on here I think either a) you want attention, or b) you need some advice . Maybe you are scared, or there could be other underlining circ_mstances.If you feel that you will not be with this man anyway, why don;t you give the child up for adoption. It is not fair for a child to be brought into this world unwanted by a parent. I think you need to really think and spend sometime planning out your personal plan. Do not let anyone influence your decision.

 

mo - November 1

my friend found out she was pregnant with her third child. She was in denial for nearly the whole term. She just couldnt come to terms with it at all. She did just about everything to miscarry. She drank, smoked and carried on as though nothing was happening. She couldnt deal with the pregnancy at all. The birth itself was difficult as there were a lot of complications. When the baby was born my friend couldnt bond properly and for the first year of her life she cried and was so discontented. Now she is 6 years old and my friend just loves her to bits. Somehow along the way her feelings changed, despite the difficult birth. She now cant imagine her life without her daughter and often feels really guilty about the way she acted towards her from the start of pregnancy until a year into her precious life. She did not consider termination or adoption because it was her husband's child too. Are there any particular reasons why you don't want a child. They do bring so much joy and happiness - and there are worse things in the world than being pregnant. Enjoy your life because one day you might decide you DO want kids and by then it might be too late. It is understandable to feel confused and upset and miserable as your hormones are all over the place. I am sure once you come to terms with it your feelings will change. Its not the baby's fault, it didnt ask to be there. I hated being pregnant too - the sickness and everything else but I have two boys and desperate for a third child but it just isnt happening. Have you discussed these feelings with your husband? Maybe he could try being more supportive and understand how you feel. I would talk to your doctor and maybe try thinking in a positive way. I dont mean to sound know it all or patronising but I think you should discuss it with someone to make you feel better. Keep us posted how you're doing.

 

Lissi - November 1

I'm worried how you'll cope when the baby eventually arrives. I wanted a baby more than anything, all my life, and yet still I find it hard to cope with her sometimes. If you hate being pregnant, just wait till you have a demanding baby to care for, and have to cope with months of sleep deprivation. I wanted my baby, I have a very caring husband, and lots of support from my family, and I still find it hard. You need help with your emotions quick, or your baby could suffer!

 

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