Mother In Law Urghh

22 Replies
huddie - July 14

Ok girls my husband and I have been discussing who we want to have in our delivery room. I am only in my first trimester but we like to plan ahead.lol..anyways..i am def having my mother she is my absolute best friend (besides dh) and he says well my mom is going to be there too..ok I immediately said NO..I can not stand my MIL...she is the type of person to always keep something going all the time and I can not stand all of her drama and just her as a person in general. My dh is having problems understanding why i don't wnat her in there..I'm sorry but she is the last person I'm going to want to see while in pain..I asked him if it were him laying there with his winky stickin out if he would want my mom in there? He said no but says its different...am i wrong here?? sorry for writin a book!

 

Leahp - July 14

Oh girl!!! If I didn't go through the exact same thing as you!!!! I wanted my mom in there and my husband thought that if my mom got to be in there so did his, HA! I constantly told him that I will be laying there with my legs wide open and that I want to be surrounded by people that make me comfortable and I began to give him examples of nutty things that his mom said to me while I was preggo and that she does not make me feel at ease, my body, my rules!!! That's all you have to tell him. Eventually my husband started to realize that it will be a very stressful time for me and that he wanted me to be comfortable. I also sat him down a few times to watch a babystory on TLC and he did see that it's not for entertainment, it's a very powerful moment for a man and a woman, not for the whole fam. We even got to the point that we said it would just be us in the room and that kept things quite for a while between both sides of the family and then once the due date got closer, I jsut told him that my mom was going to be in the room I need her there. So depending on how far along you are maybe play that game for a while, it'll shut him up! But his mom does not need to be in there!!!! God knows I'm glad my MIL wasn't in there, the woman is anxiety stricken and weird!!! Good luck hun!!

 

huddie - July 14

haha that is soo funny! My MIL is horrible too! anyways...Yeah I think I am going to tell him it will just be me and him and then when the time comes scream that I need my mom! haha..just to calm things down a bit!

 

Erynn21 - July 14

You know I have talked with a lot of ppl on this one, and I am having my husband and my mom, that's it. My hubby didn't make any fuss, he was just like okay, that's the way it will be. Now my problem is my step-mom she wants to be involved with every aspect of this baby, it's as if she cares after all these years of being snotty to me. My doctor said she will be the bouncer and no one I don't want around me will be permitted to be around me. She's an awesome doctor, this is a very stressful time in a couple's life and you don't want it complicated with silly family issues, you want to be as relaxed and comfortable as possible. Take care and good luck.

 

shell413 - July 14

I am 19wks and in my third pregnancy. I have had C-sections twice and this one will be so I don't have to worry about my mominlaw in the delivery room because they will only allow one-my husband but I can totally understand how you feel. Us girls share a bond with our mothers when we are pregnant. So maybe you can find a job just as important as being in the delivery room for your mominlaw to do. Just like all mominlaws she just wants to be a part after all you do have part of her blood running through you. Whatever you do this is your day-no stress,there is enough excitement without adding. Good luck

 

Rhonda - July 14

Huddie it is up to you who you want in the delivery room.From how it sounds your mil would probably just completely stress you out.And that would not be good b/c when you stress baby stresses as well.Dont let him make you feel guilty okay.bye huddie.

 

mcatherine - July 14

My mother died a couple of years ago and my MIL thinks she should get to be in the room (as with everything else - by default). I can just hear her now complaining that I wax off too much hair or something!!! She is like most MIL's - gets on my nerves, makes me uncomfortable and would probably be there to comfort her own son rather than me. I told him I loved him very much but if he forced me to make a choice I was only choosing between two things: MIL in the room with us - or me in the room without either of them. He chose to let his mother know that the two of us would be alone and never mentioned it again. Give hubby some time and when the birth gets closer, people like the doctors and lamaze instructors will help you out by letting him know it's a bad choice to include her in this moment if it is going to cause you stress....

 

mandee25 - July 15

No! You are certainly NOT wrong. I would never ever ever want my MIL to be in the room while I was giving birth. Only my mom and my hubby will be there.

 

Rhonda - July 15

Huddie where are you girl?

 

huddie - July 15

Thanks girls! I didn't think I was wrong about this but just wanted to make sure..my mil is a hag i can't stand her..haha..this put my mind at ease thanks girls!

 

EB - July 16

Huddie, your husband should understand. Giving birth is stressful and there is no need to add to it by having someone in the room you don't want there. I have nothing against my MIL. While I'm delivering I only want my DH around. I don't even want anyone notified that I'm going in to labor. Once the baby is in my arms, then DH can call in the crew.

 

shalyn - July 16

Hey huddie. Me and my fiance had this conversation as well and we came to the conclusion that it will just be us two. If you feel like you need your mom there then by all means you should have her there. Your hubby is just going to have to understand that this is your decision and you don't want his mom there stressing you out. I wish I could have my mom there, but me and her don't really have a mother-daughter relationship (I didn't grow up with her)...we're more like good friends. I just don't feel like I'd be 100% comfortable with her around acting like something shes not. And my fiance asked if his brother could come and I said HELL NO! I don't want his brother looking at my crotch. LOL later on he realized that was a dumb question, so its just gonna be the two of us.

 

huddie - July 17

oh my goodness are you kidding me? I'm pretty sure I'm going to ignore you..I've been married a year and a half..how old are you again alleyes? haha your post are very amusing...if you can't say anything nice and TRUE..please dont say anything at all..thank you:)

 

dedaa - July 17

huddie-I don`t blame you my youngest little boy who is now 8 months old my MIL came up to help out while I had him I wanted to try to include her. I still did not know her very well at that point. It ruined any chance of me ever liking her though. I cannot stand her now. the whole time she was here she comploained about how much many we would spend it was ridiculous. she would complain that we should not go out and buy are baby new stuff. That everything should be second hand. Now me im completely the opposite I do not want anything second hand for my baby from strangers. I feel bad about it cause she did come up here to help but she is completely intolerable. Everytime she calls to speak to my hubby she is b___hing about everything he does concerning money. Now it is not like we owe her anything and we don`t do well for ourselves if that was the case I could understand. This is just annoying. She wants to control him like she does everyone else in his family and if she does not get her way she whines. Sorry if sounds harsh but she is like a kid.

 

huddie - July 17

I completely understand..my dh and I are very lucky we have a great job, we own a mental health facility and his mother is a bum and always has been and she treats us like we owe her something....it's just ridiculous..when dh told her we were pregnanct she said well i just don't wanto to be left out of things like i was your wedding..i was like OMG!! What did she want me to do? Let her plan my d__n wedding? This lady is CRAZY!!! It's like she always has something going on!!

 

Jade - July 17

Giving birth is a very instincual and private affair. The less people around to bother you the better. I would not even be comfortable with my own mom there. It will only be me and my husband. You just have to lay down the law and tell him too many people in the room would be too stressful.

 

Leahp - July 18

wow huddie, our MILs are so similar, during our wedding planning my MIL was whining to my husband how she felt left out and like their side of the family were just guests instead of being involved. And his sister even called up our answering machine when they recieved the invitation and cussed it out since my MIL name wasn't on it, sure you can word those d__n wedding invitations in so many different ways, I racked my brains on the etiqutte, but his mom didn't want to shed a penny on the wedding and didn't even want to throw a rehearsal dinner she tried to get out of that too, she did give us $600 for our honeymoon and I guess that's why she thought her name should of been on the invitation, but my parents weren't giving them the credit. It was horrible, pretty much ruined my wedding planning or the fun of it!!! Then during the pregnancy my husband didn't keep them as informed on the status of the pregnancy as they would of liked and his mom has really backed off, she never calls anymore and even tells me she wishes he called more, but I have my own family to deal with, he can take care of his, screw that c___p of taking care of his family too!!! Just because we're married! I don't know if you saw my thread of her just visiting and not giving the baby to me when she was screaming and crying and telling me to go on, that she was fine!!! ugghhh! Talk about stressful, so I went ahead and wrote her an e-mail about how I felt and would appreciate her giving me the baby when I ask, I'm her mother!! I got a little help from Linda99!!! But now she hasn't written back at all, hmmmm! Boy, do I wonder what's going through her head!!!

 

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