My Baby Is Having A Baby

11 Replies
Brenda - February 26

My daughter Chelsea just turned 18 and her and her and boyfriend Robert of 3 years decided to go out to celebrate.She came home and Robert was drunk (their birthdays are on the same day).I let Robert stay the night because he was to drunk to drive home.Well, I feel asleep and that mourning I fussed at him because I saw him coming out of her room.She, demanded she was old enough to do whatever she wanted so I told her if she was then to leave.So, she moved in with him.Well, she stayed there for 2 months and ran home crying telling me she was pregnant.I couldn't believe it !!!MY BABY WAS HAVING A BABY!!! I'am the mother of 4 kids 2 girls 2 boys and my first child was at 20.I found this out just about 4 days ago.I cry every night I don't know what to do.How can I help her? How can I cope with the fact of my baby being pregnant before she is out of teens!

 

my opinion - February 26

well i guess you should of been a little more open minded and talked to her about birth control and the risks rather then kicking her out for having s_x. come on now she is 18 i think s_x should be ok by then so why are you crying now, you messed up by being an uptight mom, so dont come here looking for sympathy I could see if she was 16 or something, but she is an adult.

 

KM - February 27

she will do okay.It could be a lot younger and worse. You never know, this may be a positive thing for her. I got pregnant RIGHT before my 18th birthday. My son has changed myself and his dad in SO many ways. He motivated me to finish school and do something with my life.I was living on my own too, my bf and I moved in with my parents, we saved money, bought all nice furniture and stuff, so now, in 2 mnths we are moving back out but we have so much nice stuff, were both doing well with money and school. in just 9 mnths I gained so much more responsibility and became 1000 more mature. I know some other teen mothers, and all of them (when they are 18/19 yrs old) seem to do alright for themselves. They work a lot harder to get the things they want.its a huge responsibility, but makes you a better person in the end.You just need to be there to support her. Don't make her feel as if she has failed you or done something wrong. Obviously, she wasnt being careless, she has been with this guy for three yrs, and my guess was she wasnt sleeping around with ne one other than him.

 

nerance - February 27

hi brenda! congrates your going to a grandmother. i know your daughter seems young to be having a baby but like the other ladies said she is an adult. i am only 22 now but when i was 18 my b/f of 11 months asked me to marry him and i said yes. at least they have been together for 3 years and not 3 mins. my family thought straight away that i was pregnant when we told them and they all said that it wouldn't last. well we have proved them wrong we have been married 2 years now and have just decided to start a family of our own. all i can say is to sit down and talk to your daughter about this. one good thing is that she came to you about this and in that itself says that she know that u care. just be there for her and everything will be ok she is an adult and she will decide what she wants to do she is a big girl now,andlike my mother always said if u play with fire u will get burnt. goodluck to the both of you i know that eveything will work out fine.

 

Maleficent - February 27

brenda, i was 17 when i had to tell my parents i was pregnant so i have an idea what your daughter is going through. having my familys support meant so much to me. it's scary, and hard, but it's going to be even scarier and harder for her. the one thing my mom did that really helped was anytime she told someone i was pregnant she did it with a huge smile. she refused to let the fact that i was having a baby be some horrible thing that everyone whispered about behind my familys backs. good luck to you and your daughter.

 

rose - February 27

i had my first child at 18... it dosnt mean her life is over...please remember she is an adult by law and truly feels like one...now looking back i realize how young i was ...i have a wonderful life!!! i am 25 have a daughter and a son... i am a stay at home mom, i have a great husband and would not change it if i could...i am sure your daughter will be okay...be supportive, be understanding, give her room, and be her friend while you guide her...

 

Brenda - February 27

Thank all of you a lot.It's just I wasn't expecting to be a grandmother so soon! The good thing is that her boyfriend Robert is staying with her.I guess I need to just get used to that fact that she is pregnant although it is very hard.I know she is an adult by law but she still has a lot of life ahead of her.She will be graduating this year.I'am so happy she is finishing school.Thank ya'll!

 

BEEN THERE - February 27

brenda, i was 19 when i had my first child, the father was there with me until the baby was 9 months old and then took off with another woman. so you need to talk to your daughter about protecting herself. first of all, tell her not to give the baby his last name until they are married. (big mistake i made) and even though they are together, if they are not married she can still file for child support. it would be wise of her to do so. there are going to be bumps in the road but she'll make it through. i did. i am now 27 and happily married. i went through a rough few years after i had my son but its all good now. i wish you both the best of luck.

 

KM - February 27

My son has my bfs last name and we aren't married yet. What problems could this cause? just curious. I mean we definitely plan on marrying, but I was just wondering why it was a mistake for you.

 

to km - February 27

i had trouble with this too...my ex and i broke up and my daughter had his name...he became violent and scary and i was forced to end his relationship with our daughter, i have since gotten married and wanted my daughter to have my last name(since her "real" father was no longer in her life anyway)...i had a lot of trouble getting him to sign over his parental rights to my husband...he since has and it turned out good in the end, but it was a very trying time....rose

 

Sm - February 27

I moved out when i was 18 to live w/ my b/f. Not b/c i got kicked out but it was my choice. Im 20 now and im 4 months preg. When i first told my mom she was shocked but not dissapointed, You should be happy that your going to be a grandma. Be there for your daughter and support her. Im a young mom to be and i can't imagine going through this pregnancy w/out my moms help.

 

Dez - March 1

my daughter has my bf's last name and am aware of all these things that can be caused by giving her his last name, but regardless that is her father and she is apart of him too. I think its just a control issue some women have to get back at a man. Its a personal decision neither way is right or wrong.

 

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