Need Advice Opinions Now Plz

6 Replies
Worried - December 6

So here's my situation....I believe that I am pregnant by this guy that I am ONLY sleeping with. I am 19 and he is 18. Well a few years ago, I had problems with my ovaries and I've also had so many cysts. My doc told me that it would prolly be hard for me to get pregnant. So with that I just figured I couldnt have children period. Well like I said b4, we think I am pregnant. Now we both dont believe in abortion, he wants me to give up the baby and I would rather keep it. But either way, he doesnt want it, so check this out..he said that if i have this baby and move out of state (which is what i was doin even b4 this happened) ..he said he will take me to court to get full custody of the child..but he doesnt want it, he said he'll say that I tricked him into getting me pregnant...can he really do that? do you really think he could get custody even if he doesnt want the child???

 

...... - December 6

I doubt that he would be able to get custody. Mothers seem to have all the rights and not he father. At least that is what I am experiencing with my husbands son. The child is in a bad situation and there is nothing we can do about it. She keeps winning in court. The same thing has happened in the past to my cousin. I could be wrong but I really doubt he could do anything. Besides, you are worrying yourself about something that you don't even know for sure if you are pregnant. Find out for sure and then if it is possitive consult an attorney. The first consultations are usually free. An attorney should be able to tell you if he could or not. Good luck.

 

Amy - December 6

Ok, 18 year old boys, think they know everything (of course...I'm an 18 year old pregnant woman, and probably know equally as much)! He doesn't have a case! period! They will laugh in his face!!! He can get a hearing, but if YOU are dedicated to your child, then you WILL get custody no problem. Tell him, even if you used him to get pregnant, it's NOT illegal, as long as you are willing to love and raise the child. Of course it is down to you whether you want to claim benifit from him, but that might just p__s him off more :)! Also, don't put his name on the Birth certificate. That way if something happens to you, he'll have to adoped his own child!

 

Christine - December 6

Probability is very low...in most states the mother is chosen over the father unless proven to be unfit...which I see in New York is very hard to do...stop worrying so much...the only thing that you would have to worry about at this point is that if you move out of state...as a father he still has rights to see his son/daughter..and in the same breath unless he is proven to be unfit then he will get visitation...which means your child will probably be going to his house a certain amount of times per year...(out of state)...as for what Amy said...that is also not true..if something happened to you..which is one thing you really dont need to have on your "worry" list at the moment, anyways..he would not have to adopt his own child...all that would have to be done is a paternity test...which will probably be done somewhere throught the court hearings..unless his name is on the birthcertificate from birth...which means he has to be at the hospital to sign the paperwork...as long as there is paternity proven...then it is his child period...no father has to adopt their own child for any reason....good luck to you worried...and take things one day at a time...worry about whether you are pregnant and if you are then worry about having a healthy pregnancy...all the other stuff comes later...you need to take care of you and baby right now...good luck

 

Alicia - December 6

im in the same situation almost...trust me he cant do that. even if he does take you to court he wouldnt be able to get more then visitation for the first year of the childs life..and even after that he would probable get every other weekend and since you are moveing out of state he will more then likely be in charge of coming to you to see the baby. he will more then likely have to pay you child support which it seems is the only reason he is threatening you. dont give in to him that was a mastake i made but now that i have actually had legal advice i have found that my ex bf (if he takes me to court) is basically paying a lawyer to end up paying me child support for the next 18 years. good luck!!! dont get me wrong it will be a long battle if he makes it one but it is worth it and u shouldnt give in.

 

m - December 6

My devious little mind (LOL) thought of something else. I don't know if you plan to b___stfeed, but if you do, it looks like he would have less visitation rights, and possibly no overnight visitation if you are bf full time. I don't know if that would make a difference, but you might check your state laws (and the state you're moving to).

 

Worried - December 7

THANX A LOT!!!! I am taking EVERTHING I have read into great consideration..I have an appt. tomorrow to confirm my pregnancy and then I will talk to him again and if he is still talking stupidd, I will seek legal advice. Again, THANX A LOT!!!

 

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