Obstetrician Necessary

5 Replies
StageBeauty9 - December 18

I just found out I may be as much as 3 months pregnant. It was certainly a shock. I'm a junior in college, and while my boyfriend of two years is being supportive, we both agree that th timing could be better. That being said, I had always been concerned that my endometriosis would hurt my chances of getting pregnant at all, so I'm certainly not going to spit in the face of fate if it sees fit to give me a shot. While my boyfriend and I are easing into everything, our parents are not going to be thrilled. My mom had me when she was 19, and she has always warned me against following in her footsteps. While trailing her was not my intention, she still won't be happy. We've decided not to tell either side of the family until we know the s_x of the baby, thinking that if it's a person (little Brendan or Reagan), their response may be somewhat diluted. This means I can't use their insurance, which is my only current coverage. I don't want them to find out accidentally in a coverage statement. I looked into getting like a Maternity Card or something, but, again, I'm a poor college student, and I'm going to have to save everything I have for this baby. I guess what I really need to know is how necessary is an obstetrician? Women had healthy babies for years without them. I'm not planning on delivering the child by myself or anything, but if I can take care of myself, exercise, take the right vitamins, eat well and take it as easy as possible... do I need to pay for the doctor every month? If not, is there any way I could just go in a little later on to find out the s_x of the baby? Thoughts?


BethS - December 18

I would definately recommend some sort of prenatal care because you can do everything right and things can still go wrong. Try a local clinic. I also know this is scary but I dont know if keeping this from the family until you are like 5 months is a great idea. They may not be happy at first but it will definately give them more time to adjust and you never know, they may be more supportive then you give them credit for.


Malica - December 21

While a baby might be a bit of an abstract concept for you (it was a bit surreal and abstract for me until near the end of my pregnancy), your parents have been through this all before with you and it won't be quite so abstract to them. So waiting to know the gender isn't going to make much difference, but you do risk them being angrier with you for not telling them sooner. As for the Obstetrician, yes it is necessary. Yes many women had healthy babies before Obstetricians, but there were also more women who had complications that were not handled than today because of their lack of doctor. Things like gestational diabetes isn't too bad if it's found early and controlled, but you will not have the early detection if you skip out vital care. Whether you pay for it out of your own pocket or off your parent's insurance is up to you, but I wouldn't even consider not going to the doctor's for half of you pregnancy an option. I have no idea of how insurance works down there -- is it possible (if you really don't want your parents to find out now) that you pay out of pocket now then claim back the money on insurance later?


Teddyfinch - December 21

an ob is absolutely necessary. things were different back when women were having babies as a hobby (it's a joke). you need to decide which is more important. the health of your baby or your parents reaction. and oooh, i never thought about what malica said. see if you can pay out of pocket and then get reimbursed.


Grandpa Viv - December 21

Low-risk pregnancies do not need the once-a-month visit that is standard practice, according to a recent study, but that does not mean no prenatal care at all. I think you are inventing excuses not to tell your parents. Go have a 16 week checkup and ultrasound which will determine the gender, then go break the news before the coverage statement gets there. Telling is not easy, but after the dust has settled, everyone is thrilled that the next generation is on the way. Good luck!


xvkx - December 21

I'm not sure if you will qualify, but Medicaid for pregnant women would be something to look in to. It's a type of insurance for low income women that only covers prenatal care/birth/etc. You can apply for it at your local health department. And yes, an OB is absolutely necessary, especially if you want to find out the s_x of your baby before he/she is born.



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