Parents

3 Replies
Carol - April 26

Okay, I need opinions here. At the end of March my parents (who live out of state) came to visit. My Dh and I just found out two weeks before that we were pg. So, when they were visiting, we told them and my in-laws. I asked my parents to please not say anything to my siblings or my grandmother as we wanted to wait and make sure everything was okay. They promised they wouldn't and said that that was our special thing to tell. well, three weeks ago I called my younger sister to tell her our news (we waited until after we had the ultrasound). Her first comment was that she was waiting for me to tell her. I, of course, asked her what she meant and she told me that my parents told her ( and my brother and grandmother) the day they returned home, but told them not to say anything to me. I asked if it was a mistake and she said no, that when she walked in the door they said, "Oh look, its Aunt Erin." I am furious! My parents know that I am upset because it was relayed to them by my sister. They them started to interrogate my other siblings about this and tried to claim that they didn't know.....so, they know that I am upset, but they haven't called me and I haven't spoken with them for two weeks. They also tried to claim that they feel so left out - well imagine how left out they will be now!! We were not close to begin with as my father is an emotionally abuse person and it is easier for me to not deal with them - too much stress. However, I can't believe that my parents would disrespect my husband and my wishes like that! What do ya'll think I should do?

 

Stephanie - April 26

I would let them know that you were really upset that your secret was spilled and then forgive. I am of the opinion that most people cannot keep that kind of a secret and are going to tell anyone they can. (and tell them not to tell you that they know) Tell you parents that you did not mean to exclude them or leave them out and tell them that they are more than able to call and find out how your pregnancy is doing. Remember, this is about you and your husband and not other people....good luck.

 

leslie - April 26

OMG CArol!! I know what you are talking about!! I have a sister that is extra comunicative about everything!! I hate it. When I moved in with my bf..I told my sister and rest of family and a week later the whole town where i used to live knew!! (I live in Miami, now) and even so..everyone knew in a week.. I was so furious!! Now that I am 4 months pregant no one know not even mom..and I am looking for the right time to tell them..but I am not telling my communicative sister..I want her to find our from relatives..She is going to be soo mad, because she always wants to be the first one to know everything and to give the news to everyone even when it doesn't belong to hher to say!! I just hate it!!...sorry got a little carried away with my sp..but just to thing about it I get friken' p__sed!!

 

Carol - April 26

Leslie, glad to know I am not the only one out there who feels this way. I have decided that my parents will now be the last to know anything. Also, my one sister got p__sed off that I didn't tell her earlier when I told my other sister. I told one sister right away, but that is because we are best friends and talk everyday! This sister I talk to maybe every three weeks! It is amazing how people feel they have the right to decided when you tell everyone. I really am very angry about this - it is the first baby for our family and my grandmothers first great grandchild and I should have been the one to tell her! My parents ruined that for me and for them - I can uderstand people being excited, but it was very selfish of them to ruin it for me and my DH!!

 

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