Please Read -pg110598844659

7 Replies
Shannon - January 17

My name is Shannon, I am 21 and just experienced my first miscarriage. I have just gotten my first period since my D&C and am extreamly anxious to begin trying again...the thing is...my husband is in the Air Force and just received orders to Belgium. We will be moving sometime in January of 06' but he is trying to have it moved up as soon as August this year! I am SOOOO scared of having a baby in another country away form my family! My husband doesnt really get along with my family that well and is not bothered by us being that far away. I'm just so confused on what I should do. If we move next year I would have plenty of time to have our baby here assuming that I get pregnant soon. I'm really thinking about stopping my birthcontrol without telling my husband (his own sister suggested it). Any suggestion or advice would be GREATLY APPRECIATED!

 

lidia - January 17

dont do it you and your husband should agree on it just wait

 

savannah - January 17

shannon...as much as it scares you to have a baby away from your family, it is always best to be honest! Talk to your husband and let him know your fears but going behind his back will only cause more problems. Good luck!

 

r - January 17

I think if you talk to him he should understand that you being alone in a forien country with a new born is a lot to handle and that you need support from your family. And if he doesn't get along with your family, what if you have a baby in Belgium and your family decides to come visit and stays with you...that would be much harder for him. So staying here to have the baby makes a lot of sense to me. have a heart to heart talk with him and see where he stands. Also, has he changed his mind about having a baby or are you just on the pill to wait this out a bit?

 

m - January 17

I'm sure his sister has good intentions and all, but you should NEVER do anything like that behind your hubby's back. I can totally see not wanting to have the baby away from your family. But really, when it comes down to it, the most important thing is the happiness of you and your hubby. If you're both ready, then go for it. Besides, if he doesn't get along with your family, maybe it would be best to go through this pregnancy outside of what would likely be a stressful situation. Seems like when a pregnancy/baby enters the picture, worlds start to collide if they are already on the verge of it. Know what I mean? I'm probably getting too deep, and this may not be what you want to hear. My bottom line is.... you and your hubby need to make the decision together. As long as the 2 of you are happy, the rest will fall into place. Good luck!

 

kat - January 18

this should be a disission you make together,you cant decieve your husband like that!

 

tiffani - January 18

Have you had a heart to heart with your husband about this? It seems way too deceitful to stop your birth control without his knowledge. Why is he so eager to push up the date to August? I imagine it would be tough going through pregnancy, labor and delivery without the support of your family, I would like to think your husband would understand that and want to do what makes you most comfortable. On the other hand, could you imagine how difficult it could be to have to move yourselves and a newborn to a another country? It wouldn't seem too terrible to move before you have a baby, get to know other military wives in Belgium and seek their emotional support to help you through a pregnancy without your family. You're in a tough situation, but my best advice is to talk it through with your husband, and absolutely, positively, don't deceive him... thats not what marriage is about. I'm sorry for your miscarriage and wish you all the best. xxxx

 

Jenny - January 18

I know it is scarey going through pregnancy and labor and delivery w/o family. My husband was in the military. But they have alot of support groups there. You wont be alone, you will have other pregnant women whose husbands are in the military. And think about how neat it would be for your child to say that they were born in another country...:) My husband and i wanted to get orders to Germany and have our first there, but it didnt work that way. But dont be scared you meet friends over there that will become your family and they will help support you...:)

 

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