Raising A Child With No Daddy

6 Replies
Megan - December 17

So i just found out that I'm 6 weeks pregnant and my boyfriend ditched me. I'm 19 live on my own and am pretty nervous about the whole situation. So my ex we'll call him Shawn already has a kid with another girl, also he demanded she have an abortion but she didn't. He doesn't pay child support, he hardly sees her, even when his mother calls him and tells him that his daughter whos know a year and half old is going to her house for the weekend he makes no effort in going to see her. Not that I'm trying to bash my ex, I just want you to have an idea of the not so good things about him (from a soon to be moms pt. of view) He's 21 he doesn't work, he does hard drugs, smokes weed everyday, definitly doesn't respect his mother, is pursueding me to abort my baby, has completely stopped calling me.... And the list goes on. Agh! just writing that makes me wonder what on earth I was doing with such a creep like that. But I guess my question is would it be wrong to raise the child without a father. (My mom thinks if I'm going to be a responsible parent I should protect the child from a bad influence) I'm really torn and confused on the whole matter, especially when my mother has such a strong opinion. Please give me some differeent insight.

 

Anon - December 17

Honestly your mom is right. He SEEMS like such a bad influence, that unless he completely changes his ways ( highly unlikely ) He doesnt deserve to see the child, and the child certainly doesnt need him. I know it may seem bad to raise your child without him, But hun there are good guys out there that would be 150 times better for you and the baby.

 

E - December 17

It would be neglegent of you to allow any man of such poor character to be around and influence your precious child. Sometimes children need to be protected from their parents. It is sad but also true. I think you should consider finding a support group with women in similar situations. You never know, you may make lifelong friends that you can rely on for support. You could share babysitting, stories, support each other when you most need it... Best wishes sweetheart:)

 

KM - December 17

Your mom, Anon, and E are right.You don't want him as a role model for your child because he is not a positive influence and you dont want your child to one day go down that road.You can do this alone, take advantage of your mother's support.And one day it will all pay off when your child does something better with their life than their dad ever did.

 

Karen - December 17

Megan, I agree with the other responses. Your child is innocent and deserves better. Take care of yourself and the baby, and try to make better choices in the future with men. I'm 31 and just got married this past year. I waited for the right man after dating the wrong ones, but it was worth the wait. Try surrounding yourself with better people and you'll be surprised how much happier you'll be. "Shawn" might think he's cool and can do whatever he wants to now, but look at him 10 years from now! I would also see about filing child support down the road and exploring your legal rights - and why isn't he required to pay the other girl's? He will eventually go to jail for this. Good luck! You're better off without him!

 

single mummy - December 21

im 15 weeks pregz.. when i found out my boyfriend was so happy.. we was planning our new future.. but then things started 2 change i heard he cheated on me he started not wantin to talk about the baby and he says he doesnt want the baby and the only way we can be together is if i move to his home town away from my family friends and my life.. hes from turkey so how can i bring my child up in a world that i didnt know about.. i didnt no what to do.. then he started being horrible callin me names questioning if it was really his child..i was so upset cryed myself to sleep and wondering what i wanted 2 do i knew i wanted my baby and i knew i could love myself with out him..he then said he has a different girlfriend and r happy.. i was upset.. im now 15 weeks pregz..and i can say i cant be happier.. also he started 2 drink alot more and started 2 hit me.. my child deserves better i am livin back home with my parents and i cant be happier.. think of baby and not of urself!! ill never stop him from seeing the baby but hes made it clear he doesnt want the baby and never will.. i hope things work out 4 u x

 

Lisa - December 22

As a single mom of two, let me tell you that you and your baby are MUCH better off without your ex-boyfriend in the picture. As an observer, it looks to me, that if he doesn't want to see his year and a half old daughter that he had with that other girl, then he more than likely won't want to see the child that you are carrying either. I know it's hard, believe me...but you would be MUCH better off in the long run. Focus on you and your baby, and let your friends and family support you through this extremely emotional time. Trust me, there IS a silver lining and it's your precious baby. Please take the best care of yourself that you can, and try not to dwell on the 'If Onlys' and the 'What Ifs', okay?

 

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