Really Need Someone To Talk To

11 Replies
Hailey - December 7

I'm 18, almost 19 years old. I'm now a freshmen in college, and I've been with my boyfriend since our junior year (almost 2 yrs now). Things are pretty serious between us - we've talked a lot about marriage, and i could really see us getting married and being so happy together in the future. But....here's the catch. He doesn't want us to be really involved with my family. He doesn't get along with my dad....and it really hurts me to see that. I love my parents and want them to be involved in my life and the life of my future family. I want to stay close to home, and my bf wants to move. What do i do? Everything else in our relationship is so wonderful - i dont know if i could ever get past giving it up, but i also dont know if i could live with knowing how i gave up my family. He's stubborn with his decision on this...so i dont know what i should do. Please give ANY advice....i would really appreciate it!!!

 

Jen - December 7

Parents are forever.. but you are not marrying them. Is this something your dad and your bf can work out? If not, He might or they might change ovcer time. go with it. time will tell, your future is not with your dad its with your bf. if your happy and thats all the problem is, dont worry , you can stay close to your dad. just dont bring your bf with you when go home to see your dad.. They will eventually both want to see you happy, look at it this way.. maybe they are too much alike.. personality clash.. good luck

 

Jbear - December 7

My husband didn't get along with my parents at first. Actually, my mom said I was forbidden to go out with him or talk to him...so I moved in with him and married him a month later. It took a year for my mom to allow him in her house, then another four or five years before she started to really like him. I always saw my family, my husband just didn't go or stayed in the car. It wasn't always comfortable, but it was worth it...I couldn't give up my family, but I couldn't live without my hsuband.

 

stacy to Hailey - December 7

i know what you are going through,i was with a man that kept me from my parents for over a year but before that i could'nt even hug my dad without this guy getting jealous but when he stopped me from seeing my parents it really hurt and was hard until one day i told him i was going to go see my parents and if he didn't like it then we were through so he let me start seeing my parents.were not together any more(thank god)because he was real abusive to me.but my father is no longer alive and i still think back to when i let some b___d keep me from my family,please dont let this guy keep you from your family,if you do you will live to regret it.men come and go but your parents are there for life.they love you please dont let some guy take that away from them.

 

JS - December 8

I have never had this situation but my first though when i read your post Hailey was would someone that loves me keep me from seeing someone that i love? If he really loved you wouldn't he want you to be happy too. He knows that you would be unhappy without your family so that doesn't seem right. Why can't he let you see them without having to be there. He seems kind of selfish in that regard. Just my thoughts.

 

Are you pregnant? - December 8

What does this have to do with pregnancy?

 

j - December 8

The only best advice I can give you is that.......Family is always there for you. Bf/Gf's comes n go. Hope that helps.

 

Hailey - December 10

*to are you pregnant?* no....i am not pregnant currently but my bf and i have been seriously considering it, and i'm just really having a hard time with what to do. its not that he wont let me see them - he will....thats fine. he just doesnt want to live close, in fact he wants to move really far away and that would inhibit how much i'm able to see my family. he thinks i dont put him first - that i put my family before him. i dont believe that is true. but if i'm going to give my life to him i need cant feel like i'm being held back from the people i really love. But i really love him too. im just really really confused. :(

 

ummmm - December 10

if your not pregnant why did you post here? and why would you even be considering it if your having these problems? give your head a shake!!!!

 

Lin - December 10

Do you plan on living near your parents your entire life? Your boyfriend's desire to move away and explore is only natural. You can always visit them, but if you limit yourself to always staying near your them, there's a lot in life you'll miss out on. His desire to move away is by no means selfish. Family is important in life, but so is independent exploration. Anyway, in all reality, you still have lots of time before thinking of kids anyway. It's best to spend at least a few years together as a couple before bringing kids into the picture, especially when you're still just at the start of one of the biggest growth periods in life (about 17-24), and your relationship is still very young. By the way, my parents didn't like my first boyfriend either, but since we were together for 10 years, they grew to respect and accept him. Of course, now that we're not together anymore, my mother likes to say "I never really liked him, anyway."

 

Lin - December 10

Oops..."your them" should say "your parents." Man, we really need an edit feature...

 

Olivene - December 12

Does your boyfriend want to move away ONLY to get away from your parents? If that is the only reason then it is a red flag for me. Unless, there is a real reason for your boyfriend to dislike your father so much, it seems a little controlling. If he want to, like Lin said, go out and see the world that is a different story. How does your Dad feel about your boyfriend?

 

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